Women are denied freedom, unless they ascribe to presets in society – whereas men are still allowed to get away with the worst obscenities.
(The Look Of Love)
Analysis
I have wanted to work for an elite professional, but what I am finding is that I keep putting constrictions upon myself, knowing that where they are, they cannot even burp without someone having an opinion.
The stress and pressure they are under is likely immense, and I have wanted to be there as a friend and professional in ways to help with this.
But, is the trade off that I cannot be me – pure and honestly?
Media hype has been allowed to become overbloated in unreasonable expectations that people we idolize must meet standards of “perfection.”
To give extreme examples, a person is not considered “good and pure” if they have sensual needs and desires.
A person is not acknowledged as having solid morality if they would never intentionally hurt anybody, but enjoy wit and company of people involved with more extreme scenes (consent on all levels being the key).
What if someone is curious about their own identity and depths of capabilities regarding “vanilla” to “extreme” – in anything from sky diving to what are usually societaly considered “unmentionable” things?
Clearly, there are “wrong” things, like rape, murder, pedophilia. Yet, how is buying up real estate and raising rents so people cannot afford to live less incarceration worthy?
Without going further, the question is about “being allowed” genuine self expression.
I think there should be a “pass” phase where people can wear a pin or something that identifies – with respect and societal acceptance – that they are Exploring.
Something that surely I have deserved after a lifetime of varied degrees of others’ imposed torments negatively affecting and impinging.
Give me room and space, without judgement, to kick loose and just be – without worrying someone will use this time negatively against me and blemish my resume.
We ought to just accept each other as the diversely-expressive humans we are, capable of honor in collaborations while being unabashedly “unfinished.”
The Human Experience is one capable of constant growth and learning. We came here as spirit form into the material to experience such things.
We should back off from so much expectation, and instead learn to listen better, know ourselves more truly, and come clean with our wants and needs.
I am a Fantastic human being.
I am not perfect – though I have ascribed to be.
But, the efforts to be perfect just aren’t paying out, and I need to take care of my needs.
Alone and perfect vs. thriving and imperfect.
Here’s the crux of choosing one’s “authenticity.”
(Flagpole Sitta)
(The Ladder)
Genesis II – Reference In (Higher) – Revisit
At the end of their video, it is posted: “Come, let us make a city and a tower, the top whereof may reach to Heaven, and let us make our name famous…”
Yin To Yang
Dark to light – yet both share, within.
Cassandra
When she sealed away light to keep it from blight, she learned that some demons are lovely playfellows.
Flow
In movement, I am lyrical –
Better than being satirical!
(It’ll Be Ok)
Aptitude
My main calling card.
(Lost Soul – Christian Version)
Seeking The Right Man
I’ve seen all of these patterns, before – but, then thought to give them a chance.
Whenever I coat-rack my intuition, I get embroiled in bad circumstance.
Introspection
Coupled with will power, erupts into action.
First, pulling inward – then catalyst added.
“In Court”
I managed six minutes of chasing the ball around, looking like a dork, because my focus was not on looking graceful, but on getting my left arm to extend from its shoulder and respond as it used to.
(Title implies self judgement, as well as venue.)
The Lady In The Black Coat
Her walking sway caught my attention as my car approached, traveling from the opposite direction.
From across the way, I could see that she was special as she shambled along in her dark, full length coat while carrying a twisted-top, several layers thick plastic grocery bag in each hand.
After walking several feet, she’d put one down, exhausted but determined, and suddenly swing around to behind her.
It seemed she was looking for sign of help, and I felt drawn toward her as if she were important.
After I had passed and turned to the street leading to the gym,, I backtracked to find her again, pulling up and over to ask what ailed her.
She told me she needed to get to a town almost an hour away, and that she remembered the way from so many years before.
I asked if i could get her to a better location where she might find a ride that could take her.
She considered a moment, perplexed in her aged and regal wisdom.
“No, i need to stay on this road. Thanks for the thought,” she countered.
Worrying about her and the reasons for her flushed-from-cover journeying, I realized as I drove away that my offer restored her dignity by giving her the option to reject it.
Extremes
I find myself between those who will not yield, and those who give into everything.
(Content has many meanings)
Onus
I do not need trauma bonding.
I need an exit from Hell.
(All That You Give)
All That I Am
I am not only that which my life keeps trying to bend me to, but the resilient spirit that redefines – no matter the trials forcing.
“What’s In A Smile”
Reading the surface veneer of people is something I have become able to do.
“Smiling back” on a dating app invites people to become attached to you.
However, we are taught that it is impolite and disheartening to another if you do not want to.
“It’s Not An Impediment”
I speak out loud to myself to connect thought to vocal.
“Innocence”
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall –
Who will be my One and All?”
(Won’t Stand Down)
Movie Pick Of The Day: The 5th Element
Hope For The Future
I am powerful without you, and I do not need your glory –
But, if we joined forces, it would make a wonderful story!
(Title has multiple meanings)
Online Dating
Oi vey!
Welcome to men too “old” for me and incompatible with my personality!
Forged By Love
The Sword of Hope cuts through lies and partial truths, destined to establish reign and break down barriers to better tomorrows – where the hurt and suppressed no longer need dwell in sorrow while sacrificing their diligence, and our children may look to horizons now welcoming their inventions.
“Charged”
Blocked and denied the golden line of ‘Straight and Narrow,” a tear rolls down her cheek at the crossroads.
“Construction” zones have blocked all exits to promised tomorrows, and to continue around and further requires more divergence.
Is it better to go down the paths forced and grow to retain new, wisely encompassing dignity while altering identity?
Or is it better to get out of the car and forge through cutting brambles, to arrive at promised “Heaven” – raving from effort, and bleeding?
(Title has multiple meanings)
Gaunt
I remember that though I was tired, for the first few years after “The Fall,” I still had resilient reserves which I worked to capitalize on.
You can see it in my profile picture – the layer of stored optimism as a roundness to my visage.
Five years later of increasingly hard grind and disappointments’ “failures” have thinned buffer.
The Crone has been feasting at my expense and sucking with glee – her teeth clenched over bone as she leers while sucking on its marrow.
How does one recover from loss of reserves without money or backup resources?
How does one keep from exploding in pent up, vexed rage when arriving to embittered outcome?
The topic of “forgiveness” has always been irksome because “consent” was never an option.
My Friends
They are weird and wonderful.
“Arcane”

Heaven’s Gates
Mirror opposites hear each other’s views,
Sharing as kindred dreams walk parallels
Where time collides in truths uncovering
Water’s emotions surging between them.
(Strum)
Memory
Last night I saw the shadow of me, sitting on my bed. I was afraid of it – terrified – and my gut was filled with dread.
It perched there, large and looming, as if waiting to take my hand. But, I never want to venture again where I had no command.
(Thin Floors And Tall Ceilings)
Friend Of A “Fiend”
I find her reckless abandon liberating, intoxicating, and alluring – and it calls to something within that has become restless.
Dangerous
Thinking one can handle temptation, when they have reached critical mass.
Madness
Being confined by others’ projections.
“Circling The Drain”
When one has been in long term pain, at some point they yearn to embrace the darkness to find a way through to the light of day.
“Nihilism”
The belief that the self can never have where they long to be.
A Place To “Vent”
As I passed by, I misread the name of a dispensary called “The Green Room” as “The Groan Room.”
Spelling
When words do not make sense by current spelling, I default to logic: judgment = judgement.
The Interview
I do not know everything about you because I do not want assumptions to cloud my judgement.
Together
We rise, fall – and then, recover.
(Serenity – Mal vs. The Operative)
Merciful
I could destroy, but choose not to.
Null’s Void
What dies it matter if I know Truth, yet others do not acknowledge it?
“Masochist”
There is no greater sacrifice than to give all to a God that does not care.
