Strain
“Having to be master over my emotions, rather than getting to physically express them in a safe environment.”
(Closer Than You – William Black & AMIDY)
Baby,
I protect myself because I have no filters.
You matter so much to me that I need to be careful to still hold my own center when I am around you.
My Love,
I want and need you, but I don’t know you.
I need and want to know you better.
(Kickstart My Heart – Motley Crew)
Having Difficulty
Driving back…so tired, feeling lack.
(Hey Mama – The Black Eyed Peas)
Hugs
Holding On
Not Going To Sleep Mad At Each Other
(Dig – Incubus)
The Bonds Of A Love Once Lived
In the dream, her ex-husband sauntered into a kitchen where she was rumaging for snacks after having just seen that she was at last spending quality, playful exploration time together with her guy.
Her ex said that there was a region steeped in ancient tradition on the other side of the world where he could obtain a type of rare martial arts swords that could be used – and at first she thought that he was planning to move there for his own further training.
But, no…
What he meant was that the depths of his feelings of envious protectionism compelled him to express what he could do with them to go after the guy she was seeing – said in playful jest, but growly, heartfelt meaning.
“You see,” her ex-husband explained for once clearly, “I am finally mad at myself for not being able to be with you, anymore.”
She stopped in her tracks and pulled up straight – alert, wary, and very unprepared to hear such words come out of his mouth and giving him a crinkled brow look of extreme confusion, saying “What the – ?!”
And for the first time in far too long, she could see him – truly at last see him – with his clarity of mind, heart, and soul restored – shining right there, openly in his eyes, again.
As tears shimmered and a bit of shy, open love poured out at last from him for her, he reached out to straigthen her shirt collar in a tenuous display of affection and said, “Now…go get your man.”
And she reached for him with a muffled cry, letting the love for him that she had still felt over so many years pour out into him.
They hugged for a long moment, and then laughed tearfully together as he shrugged ruefully in acceptance at his life’s past and current predicaments.
Taking his face gently between her hands, she gently kissed his lips, forehead, cheeks, and then back to his his lips to share in their moment of brief reuniting how happy she was that he felt and was whole inside, again.
Then she pulled away with nervous haste – and he laughed gratefully with more than just warmth in his eyes at acknowledgement that they both knew that her reason was to avoid rekindling their flame’s sparks, again.
With heart ache and sincerest appreciation, she realized that she was now set free to fly and soar among Heaven’s higher realms with her guy on the wings of love, again.
Intense Emotions
Sometimes take time to unpack
(Love Will Find A Way – Pablo Cruise)
The Wedge
“So this is where trust feels misled and has been broken.
I am not saying that it can’t be mended.
Just that, I can’t fix this one on my own.”
Sharing Isn’t Caring
“Not in this case…not when fidelity was implicitly promised.”
So What’s The Real Deal?
“You and me, only – or a type of polygamy?
A Heart’s Crush
“Maybe that person was worried that they would lose you, and maybe the other’s concern was because now there were mixed messages – and you…
You just trusted and believed in me purely, thinking that I would be able to see through all of it to the more important core truths.
But, I am human, too…
My heart is very fragile when so open – and I need clear reassurances when exposed to mixed signals”
(Title of multiple meanings)
Mine
“I thought you were…that was the whole original point to my investment…”
I Guess,
“I finally broke at the event – and then fled to safety.”
And, Yet
He had kept smiling at her in such happy peacefulness – as if none of that mattered, and she was all that he cared about.
What did it all really mean?
Body Language
“If you’ve got your hands on someone’s waist to help appease their possesively jealous insecurity, this means…”
This Is Why
She had declared for the other one.
His energy had matched the message.
‘Compromise’ had meant granting patience, not compromising commitment.
Polar Swing
Beween mixed identities and now potential mixed alliances, she suddenly felt even more out of her element.
(Multiple meanings)
Shock’s Breakdown
What she had seen had seemed to indicate that his love was not for her only – which was opposite from the messages that she had received and believed in.
(Title of multiple meanings)
Niggling Crack
Was she expected to share him with another?
([I Love You] For Sentimental Reasons – Nat King Cole)
Premises
Her heart did not know where safety and trust could be found.
She felt flipped and laid flat upon the ground, as if her trust had been misled and broken.
(Title of multiple meanings)
(Tis Autumn – Nat King Cole Trio)
“No, No, No!”
“Arriving”
Why Is It So Hot?
The room wasn’t supposed to be so hot that she was sweating…
Yet somewhere, out there, was an unwashed older woman, still likely scrambling to find heat while lying on freezing, hard concrete.
(Let’s Go Crazy – Prince & The Revolution)
Listen Up!
“If my guy wants something specific from me, he’s gonna ask, and I’ll do my best to give it!
Straight up.
No games.
Except those we both choose to play together.
Honestly.”
Not Even Gonna
“I’m not even gonna watch that.”
OMG – WTF Manipulation?
YouTube
“It’s like shakin’ a Magic 8 Ball.”
Hon?
Please make this easier on me?
I’m Feelin’
“A little bashed and trashed.”
(Ripped nails and heartache)
Baby,
This isn’t easy for me.
You could make it easier.
Unsettled
She felt extremely insecure about her position.
(December, 1963 [Oh What A Night] – Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)
(Living For The Love Of You – Isley Brothers)
Pad Thai
“Feeds the belly, if not the soul.”
Uncertain Footing
These days, she did not want to get dumped on her a**.
(Multiple meanings)
She Didn’t Know
What did it all mean?
It Threw Her Off
That one had been so jealous, another so concerned – and yet, the third just kept on smiling at her, even as he placated.
