I thought this could happen, from the beginning –
So warned against it, deflecting attachment, but
Then realized that if this were real – I wanted it,
And have been doing all I can to champion it.
It’s ironic what is happening now
Through the agencies delaying us…
What is this closed-loop system where
Chances bottleneck as they’re presenting?
Do we only get to participate if we stay asleep?
Is the one struggling to stay awake mine to keep?
Am I being denied boon because I’m adapting
And surpassing the lessons more engagedly?
I keep stepping out of pre-established roles
Where subconscious defaults pursuade me –
And the people I have met who could partner
Keep marching on to their own programming,
Despite my attempts to reach out – and shake them.
(November 20, 2018)
Candid Corvid Productions 