“A succubus needs her incubus, yet the incubus seems never inclined…”
Author: Candid Corvid Productions
- Creative Creations for Clever Minds! -
Vampiric Tendencies
She wondered if his mind could be satisfied by staying connected with hers for mutual fulfillment, or if he would just discard and leave her like so many others had, once he completed courting her and got his fed.
A Mind’s Starvation
Brings with it a type of intrepid insanity, which, hopefully, is only temporary.
It’s like being caught in a feverish dream while struggling to awaken.
One must “fight with the sheets” to reacquire solid ground’s purchase.
A Living Mind
Is hungry for answers to help tend to the heart’s needs and aches for compatible connecton.
Hidden Arc
Is it possible to rinse clean
Stains of lost loves’ tragedies
Recover from toil that working to
Overcome hearbreak’s wreckage
Seems to ever demand
Without compensation?
I feel cursed, Alex – condemned to
Walk upon Earth as only a shadow
And I cannot break free from its gravity
No matter how innovatively I strategize.
The “Right” Track
Classes are about to begin, and I want to learn more about making electronic music and video editing.
The trouble is that when I am enrolled in classes, their timelines and rigid focus pull me hard away from flexibility to pursue where my instincts are guiding, as well as my time is sequestered away from further developing my own projects.
On one hand, it is difficult to focus while again on the verge of prospectively loosing housing and I am working on rebuilding my therapy business.
On the other hand, if I do not sign up, will I find comparable and more flexible course content on the internet?
Or will I be missing the chance to access comprehensive and much needed, timely guidance?
Should I just focus on Ableton and finish the one interview post production project still leftover from summer?
Yet, I have new song concepts requiring more assembly knowledge that I need to discover.
Passing Time
She loved where she could, but felt unfulfilled without her heart’s answer.
Dream Amethyst Crystal
Citrine Crystal
(Baby Be Simple – Feist)
Solitary Confinement
Maybe their accidents had had nothing to do with her, although she had been drawn in closely when they happened.
Maybe it had had to do with their own follies – for their own awakening – and she was not at fault for having felt the tendencies brimming.
Maybe her role had been to just help support their egos’ transitioning.
It was hard being someone who could perceive and feel so much, and hard to not take so much “negative” timing personally.
She longed for the future when she could be relieved of such great weights of unusual responsibility that were of no benefit to her, and just be allowed to be a thriving woman.
Wanted and cherished, wild and free just to be and accomplish.
What If’s
What if her instincts were wrong, again?
What if he wasn’t coming for her – but for another girl?
Fie!!!
To be so sensitively attuned, yet to have it do nothing for her!
The Quickening
She could feel him closer.
For too long she’d been sensing him shifting, evolving.
But he had never come for her.
She struggled to interrupt her muscles locking down in frissioned tension, as if this time, the event was actually about to happen.
And if it did, she lamented that he would not at first have an easy time with her.
Her resistances had built up over necessity, and having been lied to and tricked repeatedly, she couldn’t just trust him innocently.
He was going to have to prove himself.
And what man wants to be in that position?
The Demons Within
“It seems that we all have them – it’s just whether or not they are complimentary.”
Plastering
“This is me!”
And
“This is me!”
And
“This is me!”
So I can look back
And try to not forget
Or suppress myself again
Before fully identifying.
A Part Of Me
I have a bawdy, deep-gutteral sort of laugh at times which has been earned from enduring unnatural torments.
Dry Humor
“Feck!
Don’t lecture me about what words I should or should not be choosing and using.
I greet them when they come to me!”
Wry, But Joyful Chuckling
“Elderbrook’s all over my stuff, maannn…!”
(Part Of You – Elderbrook)
Dear Alex,
It has felt like I have been dragged through the mud and led on a wild goosechase to find the truth of you and what it means for me.
Minor Miracles
I mean, the world was already full of them!
Could She
Just fly?
Migration
When the seasons shift and the flock passes by near enough to almost leap to and join, the blood quickens in anticipation.
Vibrational Frequencies
She didn’t know why in the midst of such anguish that her system was becoming agitated, vibrating to such intense levels as if the bird within her were about to burst into flight with a loud cry of ecstatic joy.
Associations
She could no longer say with confidence that she was an influence of good when she saw so much bad happening around her.
In fact, she’d been feeling kind of twitchy lately, as if she feared being of negative influence.
Though a bird in a cage longs for freedom, over time, through no fault if its own, it becomes dependent…and it is hard to discern what its natural behaviors would actually be outside of such circumstances.
Aiming For The Stars
I need to obtain work that pays extremely well, allows me to easily pace my work flow, supports my continuing to grow my creative skills and talents, and that also gives time for me to spend with my family.
(Title play with words)
The Cage Of Wisdom
She didn’t want to make the same mistakes that she saw others making as they lived and expressed in their lives naturally.
There was that phrasing: “the same mistakes.”
So would it be acceptable to make different mistakes?
Or must the goal be to avoid making mistakes – and was that even possible?
Maybe, just maybe, it was more about finding the right kind of partner who, like her, was intelligently moral and adaptable.
(If You Want Somebody – Elderbrook)
I Have Never Had
“A partnership of mutual investment in love, growth, and commitment that lasted more than a brief glimpse of paradise made real.”
Complex Factoring
“In trying to figure out what type of man would be right for me, I would venture to say he would need to be an ambivert like me: capable of wild, external expression, yet also loving the soaking-in of tranquility.
However, still in the equation left unfigured is my freedom.of open self expression and not knowing if the man would find its uniqueness attractive.
Women are expected to hide their wild and rough n’ tough sides, for still, women are expected to be underdeveloped in their complexity.
But my inner world and hidden self expression just keeps on expanding!
And with my natural tendency to self suppress and accommodate around others, I wonder if it is better to stay alone to keep freedom of self expression always an option.”
Bass-“Sick!” Dreaming
I dreamed that I connected with Keanu Reeves as us just being two people, younger, who knew of each other in passing, as if we had gone to the same schools but had been on different class tracks.
He was totally approachable, and we got to talking about bass and rhythm guitar. I asked him how to approach learning them more easily – should I just first learn scales and harmonies?
Then, we dove into discussing the bass, and he introduced me to this amazing university instructor who would have us read chapters and passages of a historical text that briefly examined the chords that would have been played per period of past timeline cultures and events.
We (students) were to emulate the feel and atmosphere of how the music would have been played and presented to one’s peers at relaxed social gatherings.
Nothing complex, just the basics – and I found this fascinating!
Chords, scales, melodies, harmonies, and progressions according to regions and thematic-inspired inventions!
Of course, the class was expensive, so I was trying to figure out how to afford it.
Body Shocks
It is said that humans are wired to respond to acute stress by fight, flight, and/or freeze – but that we start having physiological issues when stress is prolonged longterm and the threat is diffused.
Toughin’ It Out
It was better for her to keep bracing and trying to level further up than for her to reach for and rely upon a man’s crafted illusion.
(Good Life – Elderbrook, Hotel Room Session #36)
The sun and the moon, toes in the sand, waiting for the sun to rise and the tide to roll in…yeah, give me the good life.
Omg, I just realized…this song was posted on the very day of my car accident, after I had “asked” for an “intervention” to place me on track for ‘the good life.”
A strange and painful way for me to be assisted in jumping tracks…but I am on my way…
Laughter In The Waves
She could hear them: happy people.
Sailing past on that rare trip, and playing down below in the sand, if they ventured.
Involuntary Weakness
The reason that she had stayed in a longterm relationship full of neglect was because there had been a medical situation clouding perception of underlying reality.
Authority
“We must reclaim our own.”
Lost Chances
“I remember when I at last felt his physical strength returning, as he grabbed me and we struggled.
I hadn’t felt him in his body, nor his true presence there for years.
Never having done so before, I hit him firm in his side and against his chest with the flat of my hands, at last sobbing out loud wildly, ” Wake up! Wake UP! WAKE UP!”
And looking into his eyes, I only saw confusion as they were at last coming clear.
Later, I realizsd that he must have been masking himself – hiding from me for all of that time – as if my love had somehow been a threat to his very existence.”
A Brief Reprieve
Walking out past the guards who trusted her to return, she climbed up to the cliffs overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, feeling the blowing breeze gentle-flapping her robes and tugging at strands of her tied-back hair.
As she reached the cliff tops, it almost felt as if she could fly away were she to just open her arms wide and lean forward a little bit more to capture the lift streaming up from the beaches below.
Stepping forward closer to the cliff’s edge, she closed her eyes and sensed for where the updraft would catch her.
Suddenly, a far off voice called out “Don’t do it, Cassandra!”
Startled, she jumped back, abruptly returned to her wretched reality.
Looking around her, she found no one there.
Imaginary Lover
She figured that she likely had trauma associations now and wondered how it could ever be possible for her to have a healthy partnered relationship.
Always prayed to and projected upon as if she could influence – or in fact, that she was the oracle, itself – made her realize that she might now have internal control issues.
She had repeatedly observed the process, beginning with the glazed look that came over their eyes after their first meeting her.
That moment when they shifted from no longer seeing her as a to-be-prized-and-cherished woman of talent, and began seeing her as something threatening that they needed to overcome and conquer.
The men used her as their internal demons’ reflections, and so she could see how if she ever saw that glazing again in an actual partner’s eyes, that this could prospectively send her into a subconscious panic of needing to immediately challenge and change the situation.
And her panic would likely not initially express itself productively because she had had it negatively ingrained into her being that she had no right to speak about the truth of her needs or bring attention to the truth about what was happening and how it made her feel in danger and diminished.
She was supposed to just stay in the mode of being only a vessel, and this, therefore, caused great conflict against herself, within her.
Sacrifice
It was difficult to have faith in men when she witnessed first hand their debauchery.
The whole of society was suffering from it.
Open Closure
She had felt her heart blossom with pure happiness at having thought that she’d found someone real, again.
But suddenly, she felt things shift between them, and her heart labored under pain of being censured from the equation.
Something was very wrong here.
It then took several months for her to extract herself from the situation, to be left reeling in shock from blanched exposure.
(Every Heartbeat – Elderbrook, Hotel Session #41)
Saying Goodbye
“For me to otherwise stay in a shallow relationship would be addiction under the constant, active threat of rescission.”
There Oughta Be A Law
Against the manufacture of dark chocolate covered chickpeas.
WT-?
(Midnight City – M83)
Streaks In Gray
Rainwashed streets reflect lights, reaching beyond boundaries.
(Shadows Of The Heart – ZUNA)
In Mourning
In deciding to return the outdoor Christmas lights, rather than put them up, I realize that in doing so, I am embracing the sense of loss that seems all pervading.
And I need shoes.
