It is enough that external agency contrives ways to destroy, rather than support me.
But the stress afflicting misunderstanding between loved ones is too much to bear.
It is enough that external agency contrives ways to destroy, rather than support me.
But the stress afflicting misunderstanding between loved ones is too much to bear.




Propagates self questioning.

Do hard times keep happenung in my life so that I will qualify for resource assistance?
The extreme pain is due to muscular torsion across my shoulders and twisting into neck – which drove me out of the house this morning.
My intention had been to go to the gym to attempt to relieve compounding pressure.
But instead, I am running errands as if to keep pace internally with the pain’s surging.
Maybe, this is my form of “running.”
Maybe all along
It was me who had
Outgrown the pond
I could not have said this better…
More bell, please.
I am pushing as hard as I can…
Correction – beyond limitations.
If a person from one point of view does not have full capacity to communicate with a person from another point of view, things can go awry between them very quickly.
I followed a gobbler around this evening. He was strolling at the end of a lane and I just had to meet him. We walked slowly together for some time while I maneuvered around him carefully on foot so as to not alarm him.
So intent was I upon him, that I soon found myself only several feet away from his flock of two hens interweaving while they picked delicately at the grass.
They were gracious.

I don’t think I will ever have your type of confidence.
Maybe it’s because I’m experiencing certain circumstances.
Maybe, in the end, it doesn’t matter what I was meant to be.
Maybe what we have in common is a type of determination.
A trick to continued survival is to grab onto any floatable object of faith one can see as the current carries one out far beyond sanity, where eventually forces release.

Athena Stairs Instagram, November 17, 2022
By Athena Stairs, March 4, 2024
This was a project of creating a mini movie of two videos I had captured, then editing and adding effects in MIDI production class.
Katy Ferrara’s song, “In Your Arms”
(Intro/outro rainbow graphics artist pending)
I dreamed some friends set up time and place, and next thing I knew three clients were lined up, happily anticipaing to see me.
However, the most that I could do to get ready was some light and careful straightening up – and then I realized, “wait a minute.”
Despite the discomfort and embarrassment, I had to tell each one that there had been a mistake and that my friends should not have called them.
No matter how much I long to help, no matter how much I want my capabilities restored, and no matter how much I need the money, I just can’t help people in this way for now, anymore.
Extrapolating where I might encounter true essence of self is akin to a gamr of “hide and seek” in the delayed process of my recovery.
I will keep pushing against these limitations and barriers to my recovery which I have not caused, yet are being deliberately added to by other parties’ dishonesty.
“I’ll see your 13 pages, ‘good Sir’ – and raise you by 98!”



With insurance having unlawfully cut off my partial wage loss support and resulting pressures attempting to shove me back into the workforce prematurely, I have to decide if I allow this landslide to carry me where it will – or do I leap again with whatever skills I can muster to reach for a life less orfinary?
Do I need to be an invalid to prove my disabilities?!
A perfect way to learn a certain language is by being surrounded by it all the time in different ways. So, to start you can start watching TV shows and movies in the Egyptian dialect, listening to music and if possible speaking with native speakers, which will help you to progress really fast…
I know they were bound by their select speciality capacities or still progressing along furthering their learning.
But I can no longer afford to hold space for others’ limits in pursuit of my own healing.

See the cloud person pointing?


Zoom center.