Author: Candid Corvid Productions

There was the hope that we could return to innocence, together.

When one is no longer wanted but has invested in a partner who lives in another country where women are still viewed as property, it would seem best to keep to self mother and child born into their freedom.

I am thankful after years of prayer that though disappointed, there was no reason.

For in the dream I wanted him to know – sacrificing our safety for honor’s reason.

(Title play with words)

Either we are hunted,
Or we are on the hunt.

A younger David Gahan beckoned a younger inside me personally to keep going to the crest of the hill where he promised to help ease my worry by song and good company.

As I zombie-hunch shuffled, trying to not slide backward, and rallied to keep moving by resistant leg coordination, a starlet emerged next to me as the other striders streamed around us, onward toward their own destinations.

I in a ragged medical gown askewed by my struggles, and she in her top-dressed “nines” with makeup and hair perfect, turned right over the hill’s top and curved into his downward sloping vacation rental driveway.

Whereupon, she excitedly exclaimed it was amazing and that she had never been there before, and I sighed with relief saying “Ah, I like this house” (having recognized I’d been there before) – and wondered if David would let me first sleep some more.

“Maybe once…maybe twice…”

Frequently

I withdrew from Bachelor’s degree classes to preserve their hope for the future and not allow any further damage to occur to them.

“At least in my own life, I get to play the hero.”

“No, I do not agree that I should be happy with your decision to leave me for another in your pandering-to-stereotypically-accepted idealistic ludicrousy!”

More often than not, men are attracted to independence in a woman because they don’t want to put in the work’s effort to ensure a relationship is functional.

They want a woman who will cater to them, but ask very little in return.

Oh sure, men claim to want this in a partnership – until they compare their own performance and find their selves lacking.

“Without recourse” intrudes upon the mind – throttling life’s security, forcing by fear self compromise.

“I have always been of the devoted type, but upon crossing the line of half a century old and reviewing how I have been abandoned time and again while I lead and rallied for love’s cause, what endurant reward truly exists to encourage my ever trying again?”

I need comfort’s
Sense of home and
Hope, love, and trust.

But he can’t be with me
Wishing he was some place
With someone else, another time.

To think that I would be given the time, space, and stress buffer to focus upon my Bachelor’s was a long shot, I know – but I have to keep trying to make its successful completion a reality.

Thank goodness I am easing off of the hyperburn as I work to regain system regulation!