Bitterness floods the gut and rage boils inside, churning a dragon’s ire.
Category: A Woman’s Plight
She WAS Mad
Those had been her words, her life, and of her same spirit.
Now someone else was getting the credit.
In The Waiting Room
Is disengaging the same
As freezing dissociation?
My mind does not want to
Be going in this direction
Someday,
“I will let out a mighty scream of pain when my right hip joint at last repositions itself correctly.
But though it keeps indicating through a crazy spasming pain, this will likely not happen yet, today.”
Going To Extremes
“It’s a consistency now after mopping floors that the next day or so my muscle attachments spasm and twist, attempting to dislodge shoulder and hip joints from their hitches.”
Confusion
“Those were my words/my life…”
So Many Tasks
“To get out the door – OMGawd!”
But,
“I can’t afford Kleenex.”
(I Love – Chris Brown)
Puffy Eyes
“It’s better to cry over love, than over injuries.”
Past Loves
Though they’d deeply hurt her, she couldn’t really hate them – for ultimately, they just did what men often do.
Oh,
How she wished it were real
And that he’d come to her
Morning Flight
Unable to bear the grief of his leaving, she fled to get engrossed into her studies.
Trying To Slow Down
Self Control
Sobbing insecurity
Had been wrecking
Sometimes a person
Wants another person
So much that muscles
Clench coiled up tightly
And survival’s recovery
Requires disconnecting
Otherwise madness grips
From intensity of desiring
Love Letters
It’s complicated
When unknown
She preferred to
Retreat to safety
When unsure if
She was desired
There, There
“No more tears tonight, my sweet.
Tomorrow, it’s back to survivalism.”
You Know, It’s Funny
“An ex used to think that my philosophies had no bearings in logic because they were rooted in love.
But I logiced that equation from every angle – and even invented more – all of those years to stay true to and wait for him.”
“And Then There Were Two” – Owls
Listen to And Then There Were Two – Owls 10.11.25.m4a by Candid Corvid Productions on #SoundCloud
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And Then,
Sobbing hard but quiet with the interior doors closed so that they would not hear her, her muffled cries seemed to have summomed the owl which now sang outside her window as if to help calm her.
(Choir To The Wild – Solomon Grey)
Afraid Of The Dark
“It’s getting better for others because I hold the walls from closing in for them.
But the walls are pressing on me, and I’m so tired…I’m so tired…”
(Only You – Orvak)
The Open Door
She felt too vulnerable, unsure if she’d heard him correctly.
Though daring to take huge leaps, she wasn’t sure where she’d be landing.
(Eternity – David Tolk)
Embodiment
This is why the Goddess Herself
Had not married god nor mortal
For she had loved and lost
Bearing griefs of betrayal
But she did not become cynical
Although men have felt her Ire
No – instead she searched in scriptures
Heard in winds the Holy Ghost singing
Planted seeds for Trees of Tomorrow
Helping others find North in sorrow
She resigned her heart to solitary solace
Delighting in life’s colours and textures
Spun interwoven silk stories with spiders
Cajoled with Fates to ease human troubles
Only dreaming in innermost sanctum
Somehow a pure heart would awaken
Who’d be strong and wise enough to see
How the world was made for our eternity
And would love her as she would love He
While the Earth traveled peaceful galaxies
I Want
“Nothing less in relationship.”
Soul Bonding
“Not many men can say Forever – and mean it.”
In The Gloom
“My bed is like a tomb.”
Clyde
“Like Bonnie and Clyde – but where the terrible demise ending happened first, and now we must partner for having fun.
Or maybe it’s just another big illusion – another ‘hitchhiker’ putting me under its gun.”
The Accident
“At this point, I think I should name it, for it is surely a dominant character in my life now – albeit muchly unwanted.”
Finally
The pain backed off…
What Makes A Man
“Think he has the right to string a woman along without any enduring benefits to her?
Oh, that’s right.
Because she cared enough to open her heart to him – and then he thought that he could just take her for granted.”
(Fuming at the past)
(As Alive As You Need Me To Be – Nine Inch Nails)
The Great Escape
Don’t think about it
Identify the objects
Put on clothes
Tie up the hair
Turn on plants’ light
Grab stuff and leave
Without diverting
To tend animals
Without pausing
For conversation
Hold body in tight
Ignoring the pain
Screaming as you
Grab basic pain pills
And shamble quickly to
Rehab’s transportation
Squinting and flinching
As light sears into brain
Back To “Norms”
She had to get her body back into more neutral realignment.
Across Distance
She had wondered if she ought to sway with him to match his energy – and then startled when he broke the pattern to preserve his focus because he’d felt and gotten distracted by their synergy.
Summoning
As if he had her mesmerized by his voice under deep hypnosis, he asked her, “How are you going to help me?” in return, quietly, “
Suddenly, deep muscles long bound in corkscrew tight complexity surged in a responsive spasm, instinctively attempting to break free to reach out and prove her abilities to aid him.
Provider
He took her hand in the dream world and guuded her mind toward new ways to help ease and untangle the pain.
Voices In Dreams
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” as she shifted groggily, trying to sleep.
“I’m still cold and my hip’s displaced,” indicating they’d just have to wait
A Lion’s Heart
One had wanted a certain girlfriend
While one was about to get married
The other one didn’t care who he f-ed
As long as the conquests were varied
A close one eventually betrayed her
While passing one just wasn’t there
And then one captured her affection
Unafraid to go deep and meet there
What’s Been Sown
Caught up in your fractured symmetry
The beating of my heart plays timpany
And I expect no sympathy from
Anyone who does not know us
Two peas in a pod destined to deliver
No matter rules’ consequences broken
Given
One of the suitors approached her gently and asked her to re-engage with him.
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” she replied immediately.
“But how can you know that he’ll come back for you? Don’t you think that’s too big of a risk to take while you are left here alone without answers, just waiting?”
“I know, I know the wayt this can go – but I can’t do anything other than to do what I’m doing, now that he lives inside of me.”
I Need To Be Careful
“When I have stressed thoughts of needing to rehome my dogs, that’s when I know my mind is on the edge of breaking.”
I Had Hoped
“That once I had gotten my children fledged and successfully launched into their new lives that I would have something left to offer – instrad of these fried circuits.”
Another Word Of The Day: Fantasy
“A way to cope with and survive despite the hardships of reality…though these days, reality is pressing to crush me.”
Word of The Day: Remnant
“As in, what little bit was left of supporting a woman’s pride.
A heavy blow – if she’d allowed herself to care for the loss.”
The Last Remnant
She had pieced together the favored undergarment one last time, patching it here and there against its resistance under dwindling time’s pressure – to find the support wire completely bursting out through the once surrounding fabric in a final triumph of its determined rebellion just as she entered the pavillion.
Going Crazy
“Stuck within tangled branches.”
Disclosure, Part 2
“Oh, that’s right – you can’t walk!
My bad…”
Candid Corvid Productions 