“Will the real Athena please step forward?”
Category: A Woman’s Plight
Feck!
“Hip trying to twist out of socket.”
Dear Elements That Be,
“Thank you for making space and granting me safe passage, supporting me through the entire process to have the best view and a chance to connect with him – even though my wolf became injured and I’m now back to modes of desperation.”
(Jericho – Sleep Token)
Tears
“Today’s tension migraine brought to you by…”
The Boon
Pain before then
On the way back
But not during
Given blessing
I Am Real
Yet phasing
Substantially
In-then-out of
Material reality
A Night’s Flying
She had brought her walking sticks, planning to keep head high and stature elegant – but in the rush to don final pieces and help get them all through the throngs to the ADA window, she’d forgotten them.
Yet, somehow, she found her legs were working in tandem as they carried her with careful, determined purpose, gliding and turning on heals as needed.
Her magic had arrived to support her.
Funny how when it was over, her body went back to being injured.
You Fit Me
This is it, the place where the tears flow
I guess that’s when one can know again
When you find someone who’s heartbeat
Takes you where you’d not choose to go
If knew what was good for your survival
Where the bodies of broken dreams rot
In shadows of past potentials’ haunting
Tormented by disillusionment of lovers
Too toxic to remember their humanity
And that we’re here to reclaim destiny
Shutting Down
“No,” she growled.
She knew she was vulnerable as he left.
She knew others would try to take advantage.
So she gifted him with her openness while she could, and then began reattaching her armor.
How Had He Done It?
He had slipped right past
Barriers long ago sealed
She knew it was her fault
Returning to glance again
Right when he also turned
And their eyes met openly
Passing Glances
Her voice grew dimmer
As he continued farther
Trying to tell him truth
While he could hear it
Not wanting to disrupt
His careful momentum
Unsure if he’d return
Tears flowimg silent
I’m Learning
“A lover must aim for another lover in order to find true happiness.”
Dear Friend,
This is what I want
Something between
Our hearts that is ours
No one may take away
Because our instincts
Remain pure-attuned
And if we falter we lift
Each other’s spirits up
Redefining vision of
Desired loving unity
Be my guiding believer
Be my daily adventure
For I am weak without
The strength you give
Grant me comfort in
Heat of your shelter
Without which I only
Dream of life to begin
I See
“Examples of good partnership more and more around me.”
In My Life
“I keep the freak show talk to a careful minimum.”
—-
(Sleep Token reference)
Whole Again
“For just a moment.”
—
(Sleep Token reference)
Yeah…
(Let’s Get Married – CALLMEJB)
She Hadn’t Realized
How much she needed courtship’s serenading.
Love’s Might
I cannot claim to know
What the fates plan
But I know this heart
Is capable of love
Transcending
Limitations
Daunting
“Well, at least I know now that the reason I never felt whole and recovered since the car accident was because I wasn’t.”
The Crone
“All this time, I thought it came from that pendant.
Maybe it did…but when I saw the mirror warp, it was while looking at the mirror – and since then, that’s what it distorts.
Camera photos and most reflections are where it haunts – although when I’m happy and at peace, I see The Maiden.”
Fragmented
Phasing between
Heaven and Hell
Gritted Teeth
“There is always something in the way…”
—
(Sleep Token ref)
Disconnect
She’d learned to shut it all down hard, when she needed.
Burnt Lungs
“Two days sleeping in smoky room remnants because the place was booked solid.”
(Sex – The 1975, Piano Cover By Leo Faulkner)
OMG
“So I’m cooking bacon in the hotel room with the overhead fan on, noticing how the pan is cooking unevenly and wondering why the room is getting smoky.
It turns out that the the fan has no exhaust piping – it just sucks up and spits out the smoke into the room.
So then I rush to open the window, and the chain to the back one-piece sun screen comes off, while the front one already down never had the option to be rolled up again.
Then I finagle the tall lamp over to prop the screens up and let in the cool air while dashing to open my room’s door to dissipate the smoke now flooding down the main cooridor.
I call the front desk gal, and she apologizes for lack of room functionality, reassuring me that everyone loves the smell of bacon and that she’ll make a maintenance report.
Once the smoke has thinned, I travel down to her to return used owels and give her my second package of bacon because she’d mentioned before how she loves it, and there’s no way I’m tempting fate a second time.
Meanwhile. I keep praying as I travel the smoke-filled halls now dIstributing to the entire building, ‘Please – not the sprinklers! Please – not the sprinklers!’ Please – not the sprinklers!”
Back To Basics
“I couldn’t figure out how to get the portable burner to work for cooking, no matter what buttons that I was pushing.
But when I called for help down to the lobby, I realized that I needed to first plug it into the wall socket!”
(It’s Time – Imagine Dragons)
The Psychology Of Why Healthy Love Feels Wrong
Afraid To Try Again
“Well, yeah…for my whole life so far, I have been chastised, berated, belittled, and shamed for caring and loving.”
Counting Losses
“Part of healing retraining today has involved working on TMJ muscles and related energetic and myofascial tension associations.
I had not realized that my jaw held the intense grief from my fiance breaking up with me, and that this tension further suspended down through the front of my neck and into my sternum causing central diaghragmatic breath constriction.
The whole anteriority of external self expression if one were to authentically expel breath, cry, yell, protest, and/or scream at such a loss had been frozen.
I had just taken the blows and absorbed that energy because I knew that the situation was extreme – and I refused to add to the negativity that he’d experienced from others which had pushed him to his decision.
This suppression of my own tormented reactions also kept me from experiencing further humiliation because keeping myself composed prevented their projections from being validated as reality.
The remnants of this incredibly complex and intense situation have haunted and kept me cautious in being directly forward about my deep feelings for another man.
I think that the entire situation imparted a sense of shame upon me for having believed in my fiance, and for risking to try with him.”
Jaws – Sleep Token Ref
“Show me those pretty white jaws, show me where the delicate stops
Show me what you’ve lost, and why you’re always taking it slow
Show me what wounds you’ve got, and show me love”
Huh…
“I must have gone to the wrong event last night -?”
(Turn The Lights aon – Fleur)
Zzzz’s
“Gotta catch some.”
Sometimes,
“It just feels like my life should be more.”
Cool Venue
“And music, but not as I expected from the advertisement.
Guess I’m still ‘green.’
(Aerial Boundaries – Michael Hedges)
1st Day
Retraing/expanding in healing modalities.
“So Happy” (Snippet)
Listen to So Happy 10.2.25.m4a by Candid Corvid Productions on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/evWJTyZ7HweXw6B6GS
(Broken – Lovelytheband)
On My Own
“A bit of help here or thete, but mostly still towing the line on my own.”
Tipping Over
“Can I detour tomorrow – actually focus upon me – as I ride the transition into another reality?”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
She
“Scarcely dared to hope that he wanted her.”
Maniacal Laughter
“When I phoned to check status, the message answered: ‘Thanks for calling. Goodbye.’
And hung up on me.”
(We’re Not Gonna Take It – Twisted Sister)
Pain
“Man, I really want that drug…but I’m ‘not gonna take it.'”
