What she had seen had seemed to indicate that his love was not for her only – which was opposite from the messages that she had received and believed in.
(Title of multiple meanings)
Category: A Woman’s Plight
Niggling Crack
Was she expected to share him with another?
([I Love You] For Sentimental Reasons – Nat King Cole)
Premises
Her heart did not know where safety and trust could be found.
She felt flipped and laid flat upon the ground, as if her trust had been misled and broken.
(Title of multiple meanings)
I’m Feelin’
“A little bashed and trashed.”
(Ripped nails and heartache)
Unsettled
She felt extremely insecure about her position.
(Voodoo – Godsmack)
Disconnected Frequencies
Maybe there were just limits in her injured capacities to hold open a door and risk at any given time.
Sudden Flare
When she’d left the gathering’s ensmble to recallibrate and get some fresh air, she paused outside and realized that she was in a state of physio and psychological shock.
She didn’t know why…he didn’t follow…so she retreated to her solace full of emptiness and bleak despair.
Comparative Sharing
She was now cold in the classroom without her favorite, soft, and insulative sweater jacket.
But she knew that she was not as cold as the woman curled up on the concrete had been.
Time Bumpers
Time constraints to help keep m8ving through system, pushes toward commitment and confudence creator – even though initially feels restrictive.
(An instructors guidance)
Creating A Frame Of Reference
So that you feel like you are “participating together.”
(Therapist approach to help assist another’s system, and which can apply to personal connection relationships)
Strangers
“I don’t know you.”
(Alone Again – Dokken)
Alone, Again
What good if gods love some one
When they don’t show their face?
What warmth soaks into bones
Without connection’s embrace?
(Like That – Doja Cat Ft. Gucci Mane)
(Send the Pain Below – Chevelle)
Sauna
She had searched for some place to go and get a good bone bake, but every place around was too expensive.
Love’s Restraint
No…
She would not disrupt the collective to get what she personally needed.
My Mind Goes, “La La Laaa”
Ok, Fine
“My cankles hurt.
There.
I said it…
Happy?”
Snarky Laughter
“And to think, I had once briefly considered reading that (clearly for me) b.s. book about ’embracing the crone inside of us.’
No…
‘She,’ too, can go fu** herself – and get her nappy, swollen gums the hell off from sucking on my vital bone marrow!”
Webs Of Deception
Somewhere behind the scenes, my youth is being slowly throttled
Someone give me a blade so that I can cut the bitch-crone’s throat
Dignity
“Fu** you – right back at you.”
(To the non-believers who interfere with tenants that they should be upholding and protecting)
Royalty
A queen does not need subjects who poison the Kingdom’s wells.
Jaded
The strength that it took to manage her heartache was causing her to have to cauterize the wound for self preservation, thereby creating dissociation from any further attachment – much to the toxic satisfaction of those involved with alterior motives.
(Fu**ing parasites)
(Treat Me Right – Pat Benatar)
A Gentle
Admonishment
Without Compromise
Love doesn’t disguise – it reveals, it shines
It doesn’t waste time at another’s expense
(Say You Will – Foreigner)
The Easy Way Out
Starving a love’s connection is an easier out for men than saying goodbye, which I guess is why they often choose to do this.
There is no real invested accountability, and they protect their selves by retaining power – yet keep soaking up the would be partner’s heartfelt energy until it becomes drained from lack of mutual nourishing.
Turning To Stone
And we all know what happens when too much of that happens.
Cut Off From Source
Distance makes the heart grow tired, feeling undesired and irrelevant.
Searching For A Friend
Maybe it was him, but
Lacking confirmation
She left alone again
Enchanted Evening
From across the dance floor, their eyes kept meeting.
He had a beautiful smile, and his gaze was sweetly endearing.
(Title of multiple meanings)
(Blinding Lights – The Weeknd)
My Love,
It tears me up inside that we can’t share our love in person with each other.
Sharing Light
“Maybe I am just someone who goes around deep listening.
Not for anyone’s secrets – but for that brief cue of how to help brighten their day.”
Vampiric Sagas
“I very much dislike that the common ending trope of vampiric love sagas is that though love is found, in the end, one or both of the lover must die unrequited.
This “flies” (bat reference) in the face of the whole immortal thematic of what a pair of lovers with access to such powers should be able to achieve and secure together – which is a rare kind of everlasting, getting to be experienced deepest love exchange.
I appreciate that in Bram Stoker’s book version, they thought Dracula died, and Mina lived her life with her mortal husband until he passed, but then reunited with her soul’s true bond once free to do so.
Having already lived out the ‘mortal death’ of prior marriage(s), I am looking forward to getting to experience true paradise, through its various shades of light to gray, with my Guy.”
My Love,
I need you to be part of my reality, every day, so that we may experience and share love and grow with each other.
(Until The Sun Needs To Rise – RÜFÜS DU SOL, Renado Saco Remix)
You Are My Remedy
Why?
“Are we waiting?”
(Shelter [from the room below] – Sleep Token)
Sometimes,
“I wonder if I am missed.”
(Low Tide Confessions – Thuuna)
Mind Walking
“I am not this talkative verbally.
Except when cuing in on people’s needs, or minor social interactions around me where only a small amount filters to the surface.
And if under pressure to express more complexity quickly, I have to fight blocks and lockdowns along channels when attempting to interpret deep internal to external expressing.
Therefore, much of who I really am and believe is relegated to my own forum such as here.
I try more and more to allow myself to freely express myself in society.
But my most free times are paralleling, still in a type of secluded secrecy.
I try to allow myself my moods, my laughter, and playfulness – but even then, often, my inner critic tied to past societal diatribe is too much of a witness.
How can I still be so isolated when there is so much that I can see and long to be?
I guess it is has to do with lack of “safety.'”
A Good Woman
Pushes herself until she breaks in absence of good man to share the burdens eith.
When Exactly Is
“Now or Never?”
Sensory Soothing
The mind can only imagine so much without real experiencing.
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