“They must have worked -!
A higher ranking rare and bizarre experience than I have ever had before.
Thank you for your blessings, oh ‘ghosts’ of the ER!”
“They must have worked -!
A higher ranking rare and bizarre experience than I have ever had before.
Thank you for your blessings, oh ‘ghosts’ of the ER!”
“Confirmation of life.”
(Can I have some joy and pleasure, please?)
“I shall live.”
Headphones
Fall…
Get back up…
“My life is offici!lly a soap opera.”
“Suddenly feelimg pressure from many hands on my legs and hovering over me as if checking and reading me while crowding once the nurses left was freaking me out, cascading shock reaction until I took off the neck collar and relieved tension pressure from too much traction on my brain.
Weee…never had that happen before.
And here comes more pain.”
“I get a new tour.”
“Fallimg as I leaned forward in the unfamiliar tub, quickly grasping without purchase to catch myself – forehead smacking hard against the (luckily) flexing wall just before my hands landed on the bottom of the tub, causing a double jar-wrench right at the left neck locked up injury compression.
‘FU**!’ I cried out…then turned off the water so that the neighbors would know that I was alive and not feel compelled to call the fire department.
The optimist in me says, ‘Well…I’m working with the right people, so maybe this could somehow have knocked the site loose as a blessing, and they’ll help me inyegrate it.’
But the throbbing pain from there up into the left 9f my head around eye socket desires to just cut loose screaming and further cussing.
Oh yeah – and now that side if my face is throb-twitching…so fuuuuunnnnnn.”
“We are told that our value decreases as our age increases – but that is because ‘elders’ cannot be so easily manipulated.”
“The pressures of the years rapidly increasing from the accident’s fallout have produced pronounced silver strands to either side of my cheek bones – which I always thought would be cool, but the Crone is definitely getting to drink her fill.”
“Where is the room for courtship and romance?
Is it enough of a start to have spoken our shared truths at distance?
I wore a mask today to protect my fellow healer students.
But doing so overheated my brain and recycled whatever I was fighting off so now I feel feverish.
So if, for example, we were to meet this evening, my instincts would be to turn you away to protect you.
Or…
The only other option would be to invite you in where we would instantly (hopefully) succumb to sleep together – and I would likely infect you.
Are we allowed to just cross that line and fall into natural rhythms together?
Why do I feel like I’ve always known you – as though we are tethered?”
Activities & shows – but going back to bed.
“But what makes us ready?
Surely – do not say that it’s more time!”
“It broke today after having been significantly snagged days ago.
Did it abdicate to save my digit from further harm?”
As our projection mirroring reflection
But need for self mastery dominated?
I ask because I, too, reacted yet
We’ve been deceived by the ruse
I dream of a time when
A man syncs with mine in
A type of parallel symmetry
Quivering
I’m shaking
Am I sick or
Nervousness
Compounds
In the waking?
—
(Content of multiple meanings)
Hard-hitting anxiety
From extension that
Lacking reciprocation
Cascades in retraction
Quiet – they say to keep quiet
For if request he will not come
The light cast bright reveals someone
As if they really knew what to look for
So many are waiting for that knock on their door
And my nerves keep aching fried and frazzled
“I’m not sure how to feel better about past negatives – except to focus upon current positives.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
Retraining sessions
“It becomes ever further apparent that my creations here keep me from dissolving completely.”
She began to see that this was The Test:
Every man before had used up her best
And then rejected her as failed to match
Let alone surpass capabilities provided
So perhaps this is why she was stripped:
Because only the right man would prove
His ability to rule well by her side by
Helping her fight to regain her vitality
It was interesting…she had to now think abstractedly to retain any sanity, noting that when she felt herself more ready and welcome, the thorns sprouted thicker around her castle – as if the surrounding garden’s wild roses had become very fond of her, and as a result, were determined to let no man near her without him proving his worth by overcoming their obstacles.
She could only allow herself to muse and wonder at their tendency, recognizing their protection’s validity as lesser men fled the scene, for she had become too afflicted by melancholy to risk endulging entrapment’s grieving.
And the enchantment’s spell did not seem to care that she was starving as it maintained its strength by drawing too much energy from her body.
“Is that like Vitamin C?
Can I buy it as a supplement?”
“No matter what I do, I can’t seem to escape.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
“Reactions to compounding lag in an injured system from having to repeatedly respond to new emergencies that push pressure loads beyond capacities into enforced quick adapting can lead to reactions and/or shut downs which present behaviors much like complex PTSD – either drastically slowing or suddenly forcefully expelling energy as a result of the system’s desperate attempts to create space for self regulation.”
“Even with continuing and multi-varied discouragements, I must cling to a moment ago’s realization that as I continue working new patterns over and over, my methods are beginning to adapt into streamlining.
Perhaps much of the issue exacerbating my injuries is constant disruption negatively reinforcing sensory overwhelm and overstimulation.”
“Although I may have just been exposed to COVID right in time to potentially sabotage attending my retraining, it is nice to note that my handwriting is beginning to smooth again at times – compared to right after and since the accident injuries disrupted motor skills coordination.”
“Upon complications, upon complications…
Nothing new, really – just another day in a choppy sea trying to keep our heads above water.”
Of course I want you
I’ve always wanted you
I was just afraid to love you
Because it tugs on everything
You’re always on my mind and
Pulsing in rhythms of soul’s body
How do we get out of our own ways
And together, reach for The Divine?
“Tomorrow’s going to be a long day due to even less sleep than usual.”
Will our inhibitions keep us stuck in a rut?
What right do they have to mess with us?
Is this what it means by leaping in faith?
But what if we’re frozen stiff at the gate?
How do we propel ourselves into momentum?
Does speaking in code assure of same intentions?
I know desire to kiss you coaxes temptation
But is your approval implied by arrival’s attestation?
If reached out my hand, would you offer yours, too?
If counted one to three, would we crash into
Each other, bonk heads, then laugh all jittery?
I’d like to be smooth, yet awkward is temporary