“Ended by male non-participation.”
Category: A Woman’s Plight
You Know…
“I don’t like needing to ride in the wheel chair through the vast hospital halls, but it is kind of fun to be wooshed along.
Though it’s best if I have my sunglasses on so that other people can’t see that I’ve been crying.”
(Remind Me – Royksopp)
When I Was Whole & Well
Scanning…
“I think there were some brief periods of time in my childhood, and as an adult.”
(I’m Alive – Oblivor)
Dressing Up
She had made an effort and had been pleased with her choices – yet again found the photos unflattering, and afterwards felt herself spiraling into depression.
However, this downward tanking was likely a side effect of the drug’s combined interferences.
Body Image
“I greatly dislike that effects of the injuries have firmly deposited me into middle-aged image classifications – as if I’ve been a dumpy, inattentive non-participant in my life.
My many efforts are barely reflected.”
“To Save The Universe”
A Moment’s Breath
On the elliptical
A moment sane
Inside core happy
Caught up to self
Two weeks of dry
Almost lost more
But a beloved gifted
P drink & saved gym
Both helping to
Regulate stress
In this gambit to
Remain housed
(Aqua – R3DN1K)
She Wasn’t Sure
If she was good enough for him.
Everyone else was selling something.
Why Do It?
“Because I have to help.”
—
(Adrenal crashing)
“Take Me Home”
If I Must Run
“I run towards something.”
(Tidal Wave – Klur & LeyeT)
Freeze, Fight, Or Flight
“When I get squeezed, at some point my energy shifts from ‘taking hits’ into blazing fire in order to fight back and counteract the freeze shutdown trying to take over in response to my being’s needing safety.
It takes a lot to get this heat in me going to break through lockdown barriers, so then I optimize by utilizing the momentum to gain clarity and burn through illusion’s limitations.
Most of the time, disengaging to run away doesn’t seem like it’s an option.”
The Grind
“The way I manage my life is how I have figured out how to manage it, whether in calm times through a range or in crisis.
People could say that this is part of my hardwiring and that some things are just what they are – so don’t expect change.
But I don’t agree with this.
I’m just flatlined in some ways and out of innovation from longterm overperforming.”
Like Lovers Entwined
The Maw had sucked her up and spat her out to the otherside, beaten up bruised and mangled as she fell in some sort of chaotic cosmic intervention attempting to bridge across space and time to bring two lovers together…the question now being, would he catch her?
—
(Title Sleep Token reference)
Failure
That which is
Beyond control
A Man’s Touch
“I don’t need just nice, I need functional contributive.”
(Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac)
Lack Of Buffers
“I value autonomy in that it keeps people out of my business and retains dignity.
Having to explain and prove my circumstances to qualify for assistance increases the feeling of vulnerability.
I know that connection could expand feeling part of community.
I just prefer participating on more equal terms.”
(Angel Baby – Troye Sivan, Acoustic)
Cautionary Tale
“She wasn’t sure where she’d made mistakes before, but she didn’t want to accidentally blow her chance with him.”
Is That The Plan?
“Throwing myself at options until something sticks?”
(Ether – We Are All Astronauts)
Bread Winner
“That used to be me – by ingenuity.”
(Always – Caseet, Remix)
Ground Breaker
She had left her mother-in-law’s home to live out of her car in order to try to reduce the impact of the woman’s crazymaking on her family and buy her youngest more time with shelter.
Self Sacrificial
To save everyone else.
HyperVigilance
That which I’ve reclaimed
Over and over and over is
Held by the refusal
To let myself forget
“Head Trauma”
(Hey Maria – Klangkarussell, Elderbrook Remix)
At Least
“I have tried to succeed and make things right.”
Interference
“I thought that the goal was to become centered in one’s body.
But I keep getting crowded out by pain and dysfunction.
Elders kept telling me that I have a higher calling – and I kept feeling like they were trying to bend me to their influences, no matter what agenda was being promoted.
Yet how are these current circumstances also not trying to force me into the spiritual realm?
I tell you – I won’t go there!
Not without my Protector.”
(Letter Under The Door – Idee Du Femelle)
Self Forgiveness
My biggest regret is that I
Couldn’t change outcomes
In reaction scenarios
Perpetrated by others
Inclusivity
Pushing the wheel forward
Intentions are only narrowed
They cannot include others
In perfect paradigm scenarios
I always knew this to be true
Yet wasn’t extended credentials
Or even the spark of interest
If perhaps I could be capable
That which was a societal gripe
Got passed as branding onto me
No matter how what I did was right
Any flaw was proof of non-charity
Negative Associations
She had unpacked and hung some of her favorite colored scarf cloths upon the wall to add a kind of magical ambience to the bedroom.
Unfortunately, the pieces were tied to old memories, which caused her having recycled dreams of loss with torment scenarios.
Waiting
“To catch up to myself.”
A True Optimist
Is not only hoping for miracles
But is out here taking damage
While trying to create dreams
And crying as they fall ravaged
(Spooky – Atlantic Rhythm Section)
Down Time
*What am I doing?
Scrambling for survival, per usual.”
The Human Brain
(Heaven Is A Spectrum – Leo Faulkner)
“Spirit Within”
“In Mourning”
I Took Good Care Of Myself
“Youthful promise nicked at and blasted away is not even something original for me to say.”
(Emergence – Dawn Avery, Ash Dargan & Ron Warren)
Self Review
“When the chips are down, desperation makes it harder to see clear paths of morality.
Therefore, instead of relaxing to defrag reset, I increase my own pressure against resistance to keep visualizing and tracking.”
Candid Corvid Productions 