Category: Altered States

“For having and voicing needs.”

“Choosing any course of action requires tasks of followthrough, and I find that certain modes conscript central aspects of my core personality that are just too darn tired of getting pushed around and forced into workhorse drudgery.”

‘Seems to constantly engage.”

“You’ve got to love yourself before you can love someone else.

But when you’ve already been doing so, this phrase is just a cop out.

There’s no real explanation why one continues to then be alone.

It’s just about making the best of it.”

“And I’m not sure what it’s going to take to feel right.”

“I keep dodging uppercuts – but it sucks when they’re swingin’!”

“The mask struggles to not come off as my mind works it loose – and the pathway from brain to mouth natural instinct instant response is still compromised.”

“Actually, none of this is pretty, nor funny, and just keeps tripping the cortisol.”

“A bill that had been granted a three week extension defaulted two weeks early, reactivating autowithdrawal without my permission, reoverdrafting my account – and now its and following overdraft charges for other normal small bills no longer covered by my before meager balance (sucked away by this bill) accumulate.

Weeeeee!”

“It shouldn’t be this difficult to get the banks working smoothly.”

“Sometimes, it’s just too much to try to overcome.”

Mischief managed for the moment!

“Maybe if I didn’t try to keep growing and doing things, the disrupting chaos would not find me.

But, somehow, I find this unlikely.”

Things I must do
Vs.
Things I want to do

“As one account is borked, and others are blocked, emergencies blare as hit deadlines.”

The nice, empty quiet of solitude, sucking at senses for attention while trying to be productive.

“How I think rest will ease the pain, when all it does is clear fuzz from my brain and make acute awareness even greater.”

“What the -?!”

“Having the bank accounts seized by factors beyond my control magnitudinally increases the difficulty of managing.”

“It takes awhile, and I wonder if it will come – but then alignment pulls me forward from my bed.”

“I couldn’t have handled the upcoming week had I not given myself space – but the adrenal cortisol sudden hits now are more than I can take!”

“Insurmountables which must be surmounted.”

“Giving in therapy these days is taking a huge draw on reserves that are ghost remnants.”

“Strong, yet delicate.”

“Super-fried Fricassee-frittered.”

She felt “messed up” because what if he didn’t want her?

“If we can see the lies that have entrapped us, maybe we can figure a way around them.”

“We’ve been conditioned to believe that heartbreak and deceit are just the way life is.”

“When caught repeatedly within embroiled inequities of one form to another, the real battle becomes the struggle to overcome imposed belief that one will never rise above.”