“It distresses me that when I hear how people like to go for a walk or hiking, my body now says, ‘That’s not for me!'”
Category: Altered States
Dizzy
“‘Cause I’m gettin’ better…
Yeah, that’s it…”
At The End Of The Day
“I am reminded that I should have done less; that I should have stopped sooner.
But I just keep pushing – until I’m dropping.”
Irrationality Is At Last Validated! Pi
Anxiety
What could this be?
Why do I feel empty?
I give to others
And help family
I think my body hurts
As engage arm or leg
Gravity is tough going
If spine to neck flayed
To rise from bed
Needs a purpose
Towing the line is
No longer worth it
If movement is stiff
Maybe stay in place
Catch up to moment
Give self some grace
(Turning Stones – CamelPhat, Mind Against Remix)
Happy Anniversary, Athena!
“Here’s to my 2 years ago act of valiance – for which I’m still paying!
Woo-Hoo!”
Thoink!
“Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that I strained a neck muscle.”
(Find A Way – Vintage Culture)
Anger
Tapping into rage to fight back the pain.
Pain
“It seems that much of my time is forced into experiencing it.”
(Here Before · Above & Beyond · Oliver Smith · Opposite the Other)
Swallowed Whole
There is much to be said for
No longer gripping the walls
Just letting go of resistance
In hopes to pass beyond this
Painful torment pushing us
To succumb to its pressure
Yet I don’t want to give up
As I fall into the darkness
And still hope for finding a
Better than usual outcome
(Silent Wave – Vibfy, Full DJ Set)
OverHeated
“Why on this day of 101F straight-singeing sunbeams did I decide to transplant in my garden?
Because my body finally said ‘NOW,’ and I’d been waiting several months to have enough pull together to be able to.”
Flat-Lined
After effects from work.
(Solstice – Valiant & Keerda)
Folding Inward
Like a collapsed flan.
For Once
“Walking down the thrift store isle, the trail of unwashed human reek kept extending until – for once – I embraced the too-perfumed exudence of a young woman walking by, which brought relief.”
Beyond Tolerances
“There comes a point near every late evening.where makeshift stamina’s grace collapses, and further movements are accompanied by quiet grunts and wheezes.”
Helping Flow
“A bee zoomed in through the driver’s side window and got stopped mid-journey by the passenger’s.
So I quickly unrolled that one, and it hurried on its way.”
Dream Codes
“My mind was innovating verse while deep trance navigating in sleep, and this is one of the lines that filtered to surface:
‘Quone is ogg.’
Archaic language? Otherworldly?
I have no real explanation.”
Warrior Pose
No gentle side-curling that
Creates extra compression
But sprawled diagonal across the bed
Face-down head between two pillows
“Howdy!”
“I inclusively greeted another woman pulling behind her belongings as I shuttled my suitcase into the building to prepare for clients.
As she passed the entrance that I had just gone through, it seened that she over-the-shouldered flung out, ‘That was a criminally insensitive thing to say to me, laced with deeper meanings.’
She must’ve been having a very bad day, indeed.”
Our Reality
(Takin’ It To The Streets – The Doobie Brothers)
What’s This?!
A guy on an overburdened low-rider bike sauntered across in front of our lane’s turn crossing the road.
As I got closer, I saw the mounted keyboard on the side and a foldable sectioned pad on the back for the homeless-by-choice younger musician’s sleep comfort.
“Alright!,” I exclaimed out loud – but he couldn’t hear me.
“Movin’ Up!”
(Tunnel Of Love – Bruce Springstein)
Overworking Adrenals
“Like bleeding out energetically without needed stop-gap filler to meet, feed, and reset their function.”
Damocles – Sleep Token Clip, Rock Im Park)
Spinal Cord Injury
“There’s been no denying, just realigning.”
Denial’s Benefits
These first two years since the accident
Have been about gaining distance away
From modes of tipping on edge of collapse
Which I would not let override endurance
Thus internal reroutings smack into walls
When continuing to push past allowances
With mainframe crashings from pressure
As keep reanimating limbs toward future
Mystery Rupture
Something unmentioned has been
A bulging vessel inner pinky finger
Several weeks ago since I noticed
Unsure how long it’s been injured
Could have happened lifting any
Edge with angled weight cutting
I’ve been ignoring it to let heal as
Occasionally acts as trigger finger
Because the pain upon touching
Was swollen and pulse-alarming
Connective tissues and associated
Don’t have tensile tenacity as prior
(All I Want Is You – U2)
Missed Opportunities
“It is vexing, but necessary, to let go of some further trainings that I thought I’d be doing.”
Toe Check
“Well…
It is pink and healthy, with no grit – except for the remnant shriveling skin hanging like a determined yet crumpled flag doing its best to still protect freshly exposed layers of nerve endings.
Thus, why the sharp, intense pain makes me want to keen to high heaven when the end of it is accidentally bumped straight on.”
Apparently,
“The few things that I choose to try to do on any given day are more than I ought to be attempting.
But I used to be able to do so much more!”
Frustration
“Because I need more help to overcome all of this.”
(Mess It Up – Jerro & The Kite String Tangle)
Small Stepping
There are exercises and nutrients that
With time and resources could benefit
But if I have just one unit for any effort
I must be careful as to where focusing
Down Time
I got hurt again yesterday early eve
Simply walking and snagging shoe
Tripped carriage flinging extremes
Tore into junctures where repairing
Flatt-End
“Cortisol haze from stress makes chest a heavy weight almost feeling like suffocating and illness in the mornimg.
It likely doesn’t help that I must drink caffeine mixtures daily in order to be able to think and function…
I refuse to take pharmaceutical medications that will leave a worsened effect while they’d claim to address my symptoms.”
(Somebody – Depeche Mode)
Death Of The Sunglasses
“Today, my signature pair that I’ve been recognized by fell backwards from my head into a definitive shatter.”
Driven To Hysterics
A Gesture
“As other cars and I were coming down the road toward the overpass, something was in the left lane on the one way street, blocking.
So I slowed to a stop at distance in case someone crashed into my vehicle, turned on my emergency lights, and ambled carefully forward on foot to assist the older woman in a wheel chair.
I got her onto the sidewalk, locked in her wheel’s brake, returned to and moved my car to parking, then asked her where I could take her within limitations.
As we rolled along gently so as to not jar her, she lit up a marijuana pipe, and the raw burn of it smelled familiar.
She had complained of being cold earlier, which I could agree with because the weather had quickly gone from intense heat one day, to overcast cool and promising rain this evening.
But she also had her pants down, so I wasn’t going to comment about how this likely contributed.
She had me take her to the far side of a park’s building, positioned just so to be out of the wind blowing around the corners and anyone suddenly appearing to accidently slam into or trip over her.
I wished her a good evening as took my leave, and soon heard her yelling loudly in her reverie as I’d made it further down the street back to my car’s shelter.
I didn’t feel like a hero.
I just gave some kindness when maybe it was more needed.”
(Night Trouble – Petit Biscuit)
Tangled Blankets
What is this -?
And how is it – ?!
(Adrift In Hilbert Space – Ott)
Huge Charlie Horses
I am trying so hard, here…!”
(Oh MG lower hamstring seizing painfully as if it’s going to tear itself off of my leg – WT?!)
Candid Corvid Productions 