“I mean, at least it’s more on the right side…”
(Toe shredding = new ways of discoordinated limping.”
Category: Altered States
Lacking “Norms”
There is no consistency that
I can rely on in these injuries
Zones are identified in variations
That intermittently work or worsen
Which keep putting me back into
States of great anxietal insecurity
Because I never know what I can
Count on in performance abilities
Add onto this that in trying to heal
New injuries occur in shift-adjusting
And their effect upon limbic systrm
Is like treading minefield explosions
Periods of “maybe I’m safe” occur
Then on into new crisis responses
(Bodhi Mandala – Desert Dwellers, Drumspyder Remix)
How It Feels
It’s mainly the lockdown
And warning impingings
Telling me my body
Cannot do as much
After already having
Pushed beyond limits
I’ll still get up and try by
Calculated workarounds
Provid-Ence
Being as it has all ultimately
Been up to me to guarantee
I only struggle harder now
For even smaller advances
Which honesty creates panic
When limbs need down time
New Patterns
It’s all I can do to
Step up to the old
Indian Elder
He asked me what I thought to be cause
I presented him with nature’s inbreeding
Could he thus then have any compassion
For a race that murdered for propagation?
(Color Of Your Soul – GRIZ)
Lag
Recovering from work efforts
Vs.
Networking for more marketing
How It Works
Brief momentum
Dissipating relies
Upon regatherimg
Strength to push
Crematoria
Why is it so darn hot out there?
At least this year I have the AC!
(Title Riddick movie reference)
Past Work Dream
I had a job under pressure, working my bootie off for so much less money, in a no-win, time-crunch situation.
But though I sweated and the timing was hectic, I could do it if paced myself – and I felt no pain with good muscle coordination.
It was nice in those dream moments to not be injured.
Merry-Go-Round
Spnning wheels
Over same tracks
Anything accomplished
Is just matter of opinion
Consumerism hunting
For this or that object
In day’s heat because
It is too hot to garden
Or to catch up on dishes
From broken dishwasher
Where ableism assumes
Shoulders have no limits
The Wrong Cup
Having just pulled fresh leftovers
Out of fridge, placing onto counter
I soon after reached for and drank a
Warm, bitter-sour days-old belatedly
Realizing discarded cups also there
As hastily followed consuming new
Asking stomach’s grace internally if
We could get away with imposition
Letting remains just pass through
Making nary a wake in trespassing
Slipping The Leash
We were born to be as one with nature
Yet taught allegience to false masters
Manipulation’s fear by violence
Imprinting lore of false prophets
Whereas it’s even noted in the Quran
That Jesus will come spit upon them
(Voices In The Storm · Didacte & Holloway)
Boundaries?…Limitations?
“I Scoff At Thee!”
(Still can’t get to bed until waaaay past midnight)
Missed Signals
She had requestrd to not use vinegar
Because her sinuses reacted, swelling
Counter arguments kept coming to where
When she got home, it was in two rooms
Feeling her chest clench and a migraine,
She cried out, “I asked you not to use it!”
To defensive replies of the other saying
They could barely smell it, devalidating
Whereupon her exhaustion tipped off into
Hysterical internal reaction to gaslighting
And she fled the scene to avoid
Shiftng into meltdown conflict.
Catch Me If I Fall
In a high-wire balance act
How can one be assisted?
(Separate Lives – The Alan Parson’s Project)
One Step Forward
“Three dragging me back.”
Feeeeehck
“What’s my focus today?
Yet another emergency?
I keep getting disrupted.”
*Sigh*
“I gotta get a grip.”
Summer Drop Out
“I am done with trying to jump through extra hoops.”
(A Forest – The Cure)
Traction
“I might be at last gaining…”
“Victory Feast”
(Crawling King Snake – The Black Keys)
Well, That Was Fun
“Went from crying to adventure to limping home while holding my back, satisfied.”
I’m…Ok…
Drives home with the feeling as if organs are bleeding…
Why I Love SF
“Finale”
“Visceral”
“Electricity”
“On The Scene”
Part Of The Scene
Turns out the fireworks
Were down by the river
Thinking I’d be just a stranger
Another emerges beside me
Talking about D.C. lights and fires
Roof-popping head level smoking
Suddenly added mortars
Are boom-firing behind us
He warns so we hunch-cover ears
And my kidneys ache from blasts
Exploding overhead so close that
Flaming-char chunks are evident
Pummeling between me and others
Could’ve set fire to a child’s blanket
A low-set car contributes atmosphere
Playing gang-bangin’ music – hilarious
Got the full emersive 3–D experience
Others regroup and we exit delirious
Parallel Tracks
It is difficult to relax
When one phrase
Could spin us into
Entirely new realities
Pressure
To be other than we are
To hide that we’re human
Silence
Screams
Inner Universe – Yoko Kanno ft. Origa, From Animation Ghost In The Shell”)
Suspended
Animation
(Vore – Sleep Token)
Into The Void
Maybe she was getting better
It’s a luxury to remove the self
From dependency upon society
When could be marked disabled
Titrating
The measure keeps up
Adjusts beleaguerement
Overwhelming to subdue
Flapping wings’ attempts
Dust clouds kicking rant
Of a life held face down
Kiss the ground
And be grateful
I WANT TO HEAL
“DA** IT!”
Lockstep
I can’t do anything else
But finish today’s work
Into Faith
Recognizing patterns
Even if self’s fractured
Trusting cohesiveness
Will find other avenues
Clever Girl – Movie: Jurrasic Park (1993), Spoiler (Content Warning)
Mass Attack
There must be exchanged benefit
For having taken on tons of force
(Title play with words)
Candid Corvid Productions 