Category: Altered States
Fumegated Brain Injury
“It has become more difficult to ascertain what I can or ought to be doing to help improve my situation.”
Hopeless In Arcadia
“Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing that I can do anymore to make my life better…
In fact, it often feels like if I am not gripping while slipping, then I am definitely losing ground.”
Er…No Cookies
“Couldn’t stand up inhaling fumes anymore in the kitchen…”
I Shall Have My Cookies!
“Wheezing and/or gasping…”
Vexed
“I can’t easily get to my supplies.”
Safe Passage
“Having her for all of those years and helping to redirect her instincts to capability of adapting to city life probably saved her life – as I reflect on hearing what happened to some of her precious litter mates.”
OH You Think I Might –
“BE A LITTLE PTSD TRIGGERED???!!!”
Admittedly,
“I have been unable to take my nutrient support powders these last couple of days to help combat the deleterious effects from the toxin fumes inundation.”
The Mitigator
“‘You’re vibing, on those things…you need to stop having hope for the future.”
Shock
“Where I’ve sought housing shelter, I don’t belong…
And this seems to be a repeat thematic.”
Have Garden
“Will travel.”
(No More Mr. Nice Guy – Alice Cooper)
It’s Time
“To fight back.”
Gettin’ Into Good Trouble
“Rescuing plants that are about to die at a deep discount price.”
It’s A
“Double coffee day – ‘The PAAAIINN!‘”
(“Dune” original movie quote)
Slippage
“I’m not panicking – you’re panicking.”
(No, I’m panicking…)
Egregiously
“I have now learned that if you eat canned salmon, you will smell like canned salmon – in ways that you do not wish to be.”
Carboxyhemogloben
“Test.”
Loading Up
“On powdered nutrient supplements to combat smoke fume toxins.”
Finances
“I don’t know where I’m going to go, or how I’m going to get there.”
Fumes On A Brain Injury
She knew what she was doing and had identified the unscented lotion correctly to refill the unscented applicator.
But afterwards, she found that she had somehow, instead, refilled it with lavendar – which then initiated an internal panic chain reaction.
(Close-in object identification tracking going haywire)
Hysteria
“Bouts of giddy physio meltdown crisis reactions.”
“And There’s No Fu**-ing CAKE!!!” Misheard Lyrics To (Concrete Jungle – Bad Omens)
No Availability
“Ok, well then – not going to a walkin-in medical clinic today…”
No Cookies, But
“Across the way from a different, unattached building, a neighbor approached me, asking about “smoke” now infiltrating into his unit as he sought the source – with same ideas that I originally began with, and without knowing about my own unit’s problem.”
“What Should’ve Been Good”
Priorities
“If one is dying quicker, well, that’s a scary feat…
But, meanwhile, the stomach hungers as the mind bckons for more sleep – even as cells ache.
Is there anything safe to invest in?
Can anything – including perceptions – be trusted?”
Desperation Moves
“I am being pushed to move too soon.”
“Gasping For Breath”
“Literally.”
I Would Have Preferred
“That my new housing has offered a positive haven.”
Split Shift
She had to continue rearranging internally as she fragmented into disociation as could feel chest compartments shifting in order to keep enduring toxicity inundation.
Starving To Know
“That’s just it, then?
It’s the waiting…
And the craving…
And the stretching too thin?
Hidden Music
I Had Wanted To Cook,
“But instead came home to the house still reeking of dog urine.
How?
Why?
Where?
Who and What already having been determined.
Turns out that the lining under the couch has been sagging, so this absorbed much of – as well as hid – more older large pools that had traveled and gathered under.
Thus results another hour or so of dedicated labor to cutting out the lining, mopping, and remopping over the area and onto any tracking I’ve created while managing.
And I find myself realizing, “I just can’t do this anymore…”
(Like Me – Nikita, The Wicked)
“‘Livin’ The Life'”
Brimstone
“As I woke up around twelve pm to another round of the cat yowling on my one day “off” there was no way for me to get dressed in time to get the wolf out, so she peed again in large puddles that ran into and under furniture.
Which means a whole ‘nuther effort-layered, careful mopping venture while I have her tied to the front door, out of the way, eating breakfast as I navigate – and I’m sitting paused and writing in the kitchen, noticing pain in my cells from carrying overload as further fume toxins pour in around me from the sink walls because I need to have the air filter turned on.”
Stuck In Place
“I should have gotten boxes for sorting and thinning out items – but they were to expensive, and would have absorbed more of the smoke fumes smell.”
(No Room For A Saint – Dom Dolla ft. Nathan Nicholson)
(The Hustle – Van McCoy)
There Is Responsibility
“In any important decision.”
(Disintegration – The Cure)
Disintegration
“Trying to rebuild while everything is falling apart around and inside of me from toxic fumigation and increased societal stress and pressures is like trying to grow new skin over aching wounds that keeps getting sloughed off from the festering, rather than healing.”
Staying On Track
“Why couldn’t I before have tried the key on the vehicle door to try to lock it?
Because I was already overloaded tracking other time paralleling tracks.”
Silver Swan Automaton (250 Years Old)
In Sickness And Despair
Next to her pillow, the wall still seeped in a more steady, sickly-sweet flow the fumes of toxic regret thick emanating from unrepetant lungs, flooding into her own with wide abandon.
You Know…
“I just want to attend to my garden!”
Angry At 2:30AM
“After hours of taping, trying to innovate salvaging our health by preventing toxic influx to increase better air quality, come to find out that the wolf has peed so much in a dark part of the front room that I did not see it until after I tracked it – and then I had to mop the whole front of the house.”
Candid Corvid Productions 