Category: Comedy

“So I’m cooking bacon in the hotel room with the overhead fan on, noticing how the pan is cooking unevenly and wondering why the room is getting smoky.

It turns out that the the fan has no exhaust piping – it just sucks up and spits out the smoke into the room.

So then I rush to open the window, and the chain to the back one-piece sun screen comes off, while the front one already down never had the option to be rolled up again.

Then I finagle the tall lamp over to prop the screens up and let in the cool air while dashing to open my room’s door to dissipate the smoke now flooding down the main cooridor.

I call the front desk gal, and she apologizes for lack of room functionality, reassuring me that everyone loves the smell of bacon and that she’ll make a maintenance report.

Once the smoke has thinned, I travel down to her to return used owels and give her my second package of bacon because she’d mentioned before how she loves it, and there’s no way I’m tempting fate a second time.

Meanwhile. I keep praying as I travel the smoke-filled halls now dIstributing to the entire building, ‘Please – not the sprinklers! Please – not the sprinklers!’ Please – not the sprinklers!”

“I couldn’t figure out how to get the portable burner to work for cooking, no matter what buttons that I was pushing.

But when I called for help down to the lobby, I realized that I needed to first plug it into the wall socket!”

“I must have gone to the wrong event last night -?”

“When I phoned to check status, the message answered: ‘Thanks for calling. Goodbye.’

And hung up on me.”

“My chapstick was in the car with me.

These days, the little things count too much.”