Category: Comedy

“A group of newbie college guys were in a local outlet store talkin’ smack while cursing to socially one-up each other, and getting lewd about indiscreet descriptions of women and bodily functions, such as defecation.

Just boys ‘feeling their oats’ and being rowdy – but it was getting toxic.

So I sidled up to near them and posed the question: ‘Why are you doin’ it out here in public?’

One lippy-mouthed and cocky ring leader leaned back upon his elbows on top of a piece of displayed furniture and began proudly jawin’ about his rights to free speech as an American Citizen – comin’ out with sass-embedded line after line and actin’ like he was a ‘playa who owned the joint.’

So I replied inquisitively, ‘Then why don’t you take it to a bar?’ – which seemed more reasonable if you aren’t going to care who hears you or take accountability for your behavior while being brash.

He then expanded his litany and included how he was too young yet to get into a bar – as if this further justified his unrepentant behavior while he was looking forward to this future conquest.

But then, seein’ as how he clearly had no proper place to emit such rude and uncaring vocalizations, I simply suggested, “Then maybe you should ‘cap’ it?’ – as I then smoothly sauntered away to the resultant outburst bantering wake of his companions”