Category: Spoken Word

Listen to Speak To Me – Love Language Cover Clip 9.25.25.m4a by Candid Corvid Productions on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/0UEkdUxR5pc7Ljsumh

Song “Love Language” by Crooked Colours

By Athena Stairs, March 6, 2024

Driving the strip
An hour long destination direction

Either way
To training or home again

The sun slanting
The warm morning sun

The baby blue robin egg
Sky up above

With white fluffing clouds
Gray undertone hued

And green verdaciousness
Wherever you turn to view

It’s like traveling through a portal
To get to the root of you.

By Athena Stairs, March 6, 2024

The vagaries of decision-making are many rather than few.

It’s difficult if really perused to know exactly if any decision is the right one.

It’s more like there’s a number of factors involved, and those that are seen and can be defined have a certain weight to each one of them.

And you can categorize to a certain extent and place percentages (as I may have said) and feel the weight of them balanced on a scale to help determine direction.

I didn’t know how anything was gonna to turn out.

Had I assessed it by how it began, I would have left.

It’s easier to say that now.

But the reality of it is that it all happened back then.

And I couldn’t have left…and I wouldn’t have left…when finding so injured a dearest friend.

By Athena Stairs, March 6, 2024

It wasn’t that he was no longer worth it
Or that she didn’t love him and want to stay with him.

It was that he could not be there for her
To show her the affection that she craved and needed
Or find within himself the desire to do anything, anymore.

So the acting instructor and I spoke for a while, and I just brought up my demographic for the moment.

And he was…

He later commented that in the movie industry, you know I would only get cast if I had the role of fifty-two year old housewife, for example, when he was talking about the difficulties of gaining an acting part.

But I wanted to say to him, was like, “Do I look like your typical fifty-two year old housewife? Because (laughing) I’d be really surprised if I do!

(Mirthfully) I think I probably look more like a frazzled, imp-ish, go-getter under extreme anxiety trying to figure out which direction to go.

And I really don’t fit any particular category other than that of somebody forging their own path.

When we are young and innocent, we reach for maturity, and as we mature, we again reach for our youth’s innocence.

If two people can bridge across the gap between human beings and find connection, this is worthwhile in pursuing – regardless of what stage in our growth and development we find ourselves in.

It’s kindred of spirit; congruency in beliefs; shared heart connections; and intentions that matter the most above any other external divestments.

(The above references relationship between two consenting adults.)

November 22, 2023
By Athena Stairs

I’m usually never on time someplace; always running a few minutes late.

And if I’m early – check my temperature.

Something’s wrong with me for that day.

You know…

The concept of being on time is a bit laughable to me as we humans insisting upon societal interactive complexity outside the norms of compassion, and despite the variance and variations that can happen on any give day – for us to expect people to show up precisely at one time is baffling to me.

I mean, I get it.

If we don’t, how will we get things done in a timely, ordered fashion?

But, my life has never really supported me in this capacity.

Because really, we are the ones who determine whether or not we show up anywhere at a certain time – or so it would seem.

But, when you’re taking on other people’s needs and they’re more like a cat, or like wolves – which are more like cats and “otherlings” – other than you know a dog, like a Labrador Retriever that you can train to ultimate, responsive obedience…

When you are dealing with other beings that are highly independent – especially if that’s the climate you are cultivating in your family system (sigh) – being the one and only person with appreciation for order and progression is like managing just supreme anarchy.

And it’s not like it’s the same anarchy.

You’ve got what the cats are doing; you’ve got what the dogs are doing; you’ve got what the kids are doing; you’ve got what the husband with the disability is feeling – generally, overall, resistant to anything not of his own free thinking…

(laughter)

That’s my ex – kudos, shout out to you for your massively well-developed sense of self independence!

We can just edit that right out – but you know, you gotta admire it.

But as far as functionality and (laughter) cooperation – eh, most of that has fallen to me.

And as I’ve gotten worn down from being the one doing the constant labor; doing the constant reconfiguring as things fall apart…

You know, no one really bringing up the hide end/hind end or helping me pick up things as they’re falling…

Being the one visionary while holding the torch, and slashing and cutting at all things dark that have been attacking…

You know…I just really can’t afford to care as much as I do (clearly, in my mind) about being somewhere on time.

You know – especially when I’m injured.

I’m carrying around a world of pain; my brain is foggy and fragmenting, thinking about this or that thing that I’m trying to keep going; and in my preparing to leave the house, even, much of that isn’t even about me!

It’s about making sure that everything at home is managed so that when I leave, there’s a chance that things won’t fall apart at the seams.

So that by the time that I get to me – scrambling to make sure that I’ve got some kind of food; did I take my vitamins and pain medication…

What clothes do I even have out of the few, meager pickings?

Which one am I going to wear today that will be most efficient and cover all potentialities?

It’s exhausting!

And I need to catch up on my sleep, which does not come easy.

Fear…

I’m afraid to trust.

I drag my supplies to and fro every day from the office.

If I don’t leave my stuff behind locked door of somebody else’s abode, no one can change the lock and leave me out in the cold.

I’ve recently been asked to start spray-misting the plants.

I’ve been invited to the dance of caretaking.

At first, initially, resented…

Resisted…

Feeling overwhelmed…

(sigh)

Recognizing the invitation.

It’s not easy to let go and trust…

It’s not easy, although I know that I must.

Underneath the mask, there is love and pain: a feeling of great deficit; an unwillingness to sacrifice others to reclaim the gain.

It’s important that those I love know that I love them, even though we have these difficulties.

I know that partially it’s because they’re younger and I have at least twenty years of prior processing.

It’d be great if we could meet in the middle and see each other eye to eye, instead of mismatched elevation where you think I’m looking down on you as a spy (chuckle).

It’s hard being the wiser when my emotions just want to sob – but if I let them go unchecked, they would just add momentum to the emotional mob.

It takes a lot of strength to stand my own ground, to not fall apart, to not scramble gibbling around.

Gabbering could be another word where you’re just blubbering for being branded with imaginary sins.

Having been the recipient of victimization when much younger, if one knew me, they knew that I would never begin.

For souls deserve to be unfettered by the burdens of hardship and harm.

And though I’m flawed, it’s my priority that this kind of decree should be law.

Being a conscientious soul is not easy, especially when having such empathy.

I guess the average person is not mindful to the capacity of being careful with other people’s tender needs.

Actions can be misconstrued: projections can be volatile when self projection is triggered – especially when people are under the influence of chemicals.

It doens’t get easier when trust is taken away, especially if one hasn’t deserved it to quite the level that others feel has been portrayed.

Portrayed is specifically the word I used.

People are afraid of betrayal, so they become self protective.

But, in so doing can cause betrayal of a person’s heart that is open.

I must remove all doubt, all blame, all shame for being who I am.

Being in a State of Unknowing. Dealing with someone who is uncaring.

Dealing with a lack of Justice.

It’s just a recipe for tearing myself apart for being who I am.

I mean, if there’s no logical explanation and nothing you can do to fix something, it had nothing to do with You.

And that’s the sad thing.

And that’s something that I’ve experienced for much of my life, and it’s another reaon why I’ve been independently employed for most of my life.

Because when I give the power of my life to other people to decide, such as being somebody’s employee, being completely dependent upon them for my income – or renting from somebody, being completely dependent upon somebody’s Goodwill for a house, for a roof over my head – I find, quite often – consistently – that it’s not a “equal exchange” relationship.

Therefore, now, while I am employed (I’m employed part-time), I’m meanwhile steadily and attempting to rapidly build my private clientele on the side – therefore, diversifying the eggs in my basket in case one of them breaks.

Then, my whole world won’t fall apart, as has been the case these last three years…and before.

I’ve always had the most job security when I was an independent contractor, when I could build rapport, one person at a time, relationship dynamics.

And, if I came across people who were not of the collaborative, positive mindset, I could see that and I’d give them a chance. Not too far ’cause I don’t want to hang by that rope they’re slingin’ about! But, I’d check ’em, I’d test ’em …and if they weren’t “up to snuff” in growing and evolving, I’d just let them go.

I’ve let a lot of negative people in my life go because they just didn’t make sense and didn’t want to find a neutral ground to make sense.

It’s like, whatever their personal beliefs – fine – but, we’ve gotta have neutral, solid ground to work together, to come together, to meet and work on projects together, and achieve goals to mutual satisfaction and equal status.

I never seek to top anybody. That’s not my way.

But, I do step up to the plate and hold my own ground and promote gently, but firmly, where I think I want our vision to go.

And, if people don’t share my vision in the work that I am providing, we’re just not a match.

And, that’s fine. I have no problem with that.

But, I don’t like other people stepping on me.

And, I don’t like other people using me.

And, I don’t like other people misusing and abusing me…or leveraging me – or having control to destroy what I’m building.

When the boy grew into the man, he married a woman who was like his mother – yet, unlike her.

He didn’t realize that when we find each other, we’re drawn to each other for our own healing.

We seek those missing parts we did not receive in our childhood. We project upon each other, as man and woman, searching to complete what before was broken.

When the wife grew and expanded in ways his mother never had, he began to fear her as she had their children. For as a child, he’d felt powerless at his mother’s harsh handling of his tenderness.

Now, somebody had more access to harming him, and harming his next generation.

He feared his wife’s power, even though she never wielded it for evil.

He feared it, because he didn’t work on his own psychology. He feared it, because he’d always feared the world.

And as she grew, and his mind became more terrified, he began dismantling everything they’d built together.

Piece by piece. Stone by stone…weakened at the mortar.

Until one day, it fell – and he could call himself “his own.”

Due to the ever changing versatile flow of emotions –
And due to sense it may seem they’re uncontrollable,

Many people advocate and insist upon cutting off
Receptivity to these integral, hormonal directives.

But, I believe they are an essential part of humanity:
We must learn how to direct their flow, appropriately.

https://soundcloud.com/asbcst227/the-holistic-human-spoken-word-2021

Some things can only be seen at night when the shadows are long in the bright moonlight.

Spoken Word: https://soundcloud.com/user-213139500/what-we-need-to-see-42121-poetry

Human life is fragile.

We like to take the human life for granted because we think of all of the opportunities we now have as a human race. We look at the mistakes we make, the atrocities we commit, the choices mis-made.

You know, I like to think that someday I could be immortal so that I could keep living, and keep learning in gathering wisdom. Hopefully, to apply it to our people: to help the young ones grow better and stronger than they’ve ever been able to before; to give solace to the ones who are older who have been hurt and damaged by pain, by war.

I’d love to be one of the Elders that cares for our race and helps bring us to better understanding of our true humility and grace, our power, our strength – to reach and access our true capabilities.

I worry that if I were granted immortality that I would see other immortals become jaded, and it would just be the human struggle for power and resources and control at others’ expense – just on the larger scale. Now we’ve got humans that can live forever vying to always stay in control: how is that different than now?

But it seems to be a good dream to have: to want to be there on the side of Nourishment.

We have such great potential as creatures that contain both animal instinct, and something other: Human Thought. Human capacity to analyze and reason. We are unique. I don’t think that anywhere there’s a species like us.

There may be other advanced civilizations out there in the universe – and maybe we actually come from one of them. But, what we have evolved from and into now is something rather unique, meant to be cherished, meant to be cultivated to have our best attributes drawn forward to stand shining in the sun.

To have the cloud of oppression and waste, and malice, and greed – all the negative things that ego brings to us, lifted off of us – just that burden, lifted…what great things could we achieve?

Ego itself is not bad, but, it’s bad how ego can become abusive.

And I believe that if we nourish what imbalanced ego from the beginning – brought it back into its center – that it could be one of our greatest assets, giving us the will, the knowledge, the determination to manifest our own destiny beyond anything we’ve ever dreamed.

Spoken Word: https://soundcloud.com/user-213139500/a-case-for-humanity-42121

Disruption…

As we see in the world around us, the Coronavirus effects interfering with international travel, disrupting economies, taking lives, yielding opportunity for terrorists to take advantage of destabilized operations, and agencies losing funding to keep operations going.

It’s like a carefully orchestrated plan to tear apart everything that a person would reach for to regain stability in times of trouble.

It’s a psychological terrorism, in a way – almost more than physical because its infecting people with fear of the unknown, fear of being close. It has larger effects of fear of investing – whether it’s in business ventures, education, relationships.

There is probably not one place that isn’t affected right now.

What this pandemic is doing is leveraging us to give up on our higher ideals – maybe even give up our morality in the struggle for survival.

But, that makes us descend back into the primal hindbrain of fight, flight, or freeze.

That throws us into violence again: a state of distrust – of distressed competition with one another. It causes us to discard ties. It causes us to lose faith in ourselves, in the world, and in each other.

These things that it is causing in us with negative reactionism – these things are the tools, the currency of Evil.

Whether or not evil is behind this, the defragmentation of human society capsizing, collapsing as the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs begins to disintegrate, ends up being on the side of evil.

So, it seems to me, now more than ever, we must not give into succumbing to despair. We must not yield our beliefs, nor our investments – but rather, step to the side, rest, and wait for a better time to promote those things which we value.

There are more things that we can do: we can build further strategies so that when the system comes back on line, we can plug in – stronger than ever, with more to our advantage, during this delay.

There are always silver linings to be found: there are always opportunities, when there is tragedy.

It has been said that there cannot be good without evil. Therefore, if that is true, then there cannot be evil without good.

And it is up to us to find, hold onto, and continue promoting the good in our humanity. It is up to us to remember and promote these higher ideals.

It is up to us to not give into anger or despair.

That is not to say we can’t feel anger or despair. But to let them take over our hind brain and manipulate us into actions we would later regret – into directions we would not have considered before – is to be avoided.

Allowing circumstances to leverage our good reason in directions that are not good for us, ultimately, is the wrong way to go.

The grass is green, the sprinklers are still flowing, nature moves forward: We Are Surviving.

This is a delay. It’s a setback. It’s a loss. But that does not mean we will miss our triumph – or Our Winning.

And we must hold secure and keep our eyes on the horizon, waiting for our right timing to reemerge.

(July 13, 2020)

My Spoken Word: https://soundcloud.com/user-213139500/overcoming-disruption-spoken-word-71320

I thought this could happen, from the beginning –
So warned against it, deflecting attachment, but

Then realized that if this were real – I wanted it,
And have been doing all I can to champion it.

It’s ironic what is happening now
Through the agencies delaying us…

What is this closed-loop system where
Chances bottleneck as they’re presenting?

Do we only get to participate if we stay asleep?
Is the one struggling to stay awake mine to keep?

Am I being denied boon because I’m adapting
And surpassing the lessons more engagedly?

I keep stepping out of pre-established roles
Where subconscious defaults pursuade me –

And the people I have met who could partner
Keep marching on to their own programming,

Despite my attempts to reach out – and shake them.

(November 20, 2018)

Here are my on-the-road recordings at Candid Corvid Productions on Soundcloud (please listen to in sequence):

1. Spacial Reality
2. Alone In Society
3. Firelight (Poetry)
4. Energetics (Dynamic)
5. Camptown Blues (Medium)
6. Words
7. Satisfaction
8. At the Trough
9. A View

Everyone has to start somewhere, and my beginnings in voice-over recording began by taking a college class. You can listen to two of my humble beginnings at:

Of course, there are mistakes: there are pops, slurs, and variations in tones that over time I’ll learn how to clean up and improve upon.

I’m like a child just learning to walk this path, so please be gentle with your criticism.

And Thank You for believing in me.

I love Polly Periphery – she is my own creation 😀