Category: Stream of Thought

Vertebral disequilibrium.

Previously punished extroversion can drive one so far into the habits of introversion that when one attempts to balance the self by ambiversion, sustaining efforts externally without external positive reinforcement and encouragement can lead one to feel too keenly deep levels of anxiety.

It then becomes a struggle for maintaining energy output to stay “out on a limb” as psychological muscles begin quivering in the silence of nonreceptivity to brave efforts given.

One’s survival mechanism of “conservation of energy” takes over, resulting in a snap-back reaction which leaves the venturer quaking in their own skin.

People do not seem to take the time, anymore, to inquire and discover about each other.

“The pandemic represents a rare but narrow window of opportunity to reflect, reimagine, and reset our world” – Professor Klaus Schwab, Founder and Executive Chairman, World Economic Forum.

http://www.weforum.org/focus/the-great-reset

Not having to march to preset rhythms.

You know – actually being let off of the leash!

One thing I still chafe at is preset expectations regarding what we “should do” for the holidays.

It is interesting now to have come so far as to be able to look back at how a message from this performer or that has helped me to survive and keep my sactity.

I do not credit them, for as I came upon each one, they were separated from the others and their messages were more cryptic and personal to their own reflections.

However, I took their inventions and sometimes even altered their original intentions to tweak their art’s symbolism to better suit my needs.

An alchemist works with in-the-raw simple and complex materials. The energy already crafted into these works held charges which would help boost me, and I am grateful for receiving.

There is something about reducing expansion pressures and aiming for sustainable growth that puts the mind better at ease.

I am not sure that I am always making the “right” decisions, but they have brought us to where we are.

Passion’s drive – whether positive or negative – is what keeps me going to overcome dissatisfaction.

Not a good bed fellow.

A difficult task for a chameleon is to determine when it is safe to show itself. Until then, observers are misdirected regarding its personality.

The chameleon has learned to display “colors” to protect its vulnerability. Being able to shift fluidly between these “states of being” becomes primary.

To not move or act spontaneously became essential for its survival. Attempting to break free of these habits can cause tremendous anxiety.

I couldn’t, wouldn’t – didn’t want to do it just for me. I wanted to make my partner happy.

She kept insisting that he show himself – then realized he was a phantom, all along.

My left ankle has borne the brunt of twisting since I myself was a youngling.

It was long overdue for happening again, and as the walk was ending, a sudden dip-twist in footing got me.

But, I was surprised to also find right next to the site the side of a boulder with grooves cut out that lodged my foot perfectly so that I could stretch it.

It seemed as if it had been placed there as a courtesy!

Gracious, as long as you go with the plan.

Inbred snob-snubbery, once you disagree.

I joked with my youngling yesterday that we are actually “living the dream as we make it.”

We may not have a home of our own, but every year, we used to long to get away to a motel and eat out for the holidays.

By circumstantial decree, we are “getting” to live this life, daily.

Sometimes, it must not be afforded attention.

Finding out that you really, really like something – and then having to abstain from it.

“I would like to work with you. This, I know.”

“What else do you desire of our future interactions?” he queried.

“Honestly, Sir, I do not know you well enough to postulate.”

Does love lead me – or does passion, more?

He said, “Let’s take this slow and see where it goes…”

She replied, “I can’t live enshackled, again!”

“Have we met and spoken before?” she asked, as they extended to shake each other’s hand.

“For if not, I have spoken to so many of your likeness that I no longer know where to begin!”

Sometimes my instincts are right on target.

Other times, they are dulled.

When thwarted, I remain industrious – and avoid the pain which binds.

There’s so much loss to account for.

I just don’t have the time.

It would probably help my deeper healing if I did not have such a strong sense of injustice.

But, some of the pain can only be overcome by receiving the regard of someone who understands and truly loves me.

Self love is limited in what it can provide.

This is just how I am designed.

It was a dirty trick – which left me vulnerable to being taken advantage of by scammers – to have me feel that my heart’s destiny lay with assuredness in a certain direction.

If Angels can see all things, surely they knew better?

Here I am, drawn out of hiding by the pull of a love so strong – and no one greeting to embrace it with me.

I cannot express to quite the level experienced how that pressure put upon me to conform to others’s expectations mitigated my happiness and caused such distress.

Now, when I approach all things, it will be on my terms and to mutual benefits.

No more puppet-on-a-string dancing for me.

It seems that I frequently push myself beyond my limits, to where I find myself slowly positioning myself into bed at the end of each day so as not to pull an already too tight muscle.

My body aches as if it is older and I do not like having to be so careful.

Maybe it is better that I do not have a partner currently. I mean, where is any of this considered “fun?”

And don’t tell me that someone who loves me “would appreciate and accept” me.

I have found the reality to be contrary – and this phrase is over-run.

Making a decision smoothly does not mean it was easy.

It didn’t need to be seen as “a bad thing;” it could just be seen as “a thing.”

I needed to remove myself from the situation because they still had some growing to do.

I did not want to be in the way of it – nor to become a casualty of their learning curve.

We do not have a lot of nice things like special furniture or expensive whatevers.

Pretty much, we have been aiming for functionality and decluttering.

Of course, when we get our own place, a fun part is finding some items for it.

I already picked up an antique wooden chair and two thin, subtly-patterned, Eastern-silken woven rugs.

It’s pretty neat what you can find in second-hand stores.

For little expense, you can improve atmosphere.

The risk may be worth extending where time has proven consistency.

Stating what I want and how I want it puts me in a position where people can see me more clearly.

Proper alliances make the difference.

My goals are to have a harmonious and balanced love and family life with room to expand my creativity, supported by my talents in healing.

It is what we do with the information we are given that determines how we succeed or fail.

Like in the original movie, Sabrina, starring the olden greats by black and white, she would perch at height, looking down upon the elegant masses.

And like Sabrina, she wanted to mingle with them and make new acquaintances.

But, unlike the young woman, at the end of the day, she preferred to return to the trees.

I’m not sure that I will ever get on a stage and sing “Rock Star” or “I Am” to a crowd of thousands, but thinking of wearing those star-shaped meteorite earrings and knowing my interpretation of their symbolism makes me happy.

If I had my guy, I would want to be home, snuggled by the fire with him – instead of preparing to venture out into the world.

Worrying politics would destroy the world while its life springs just began to flow.

I always thought that I had to “become.”

Could it be enough to just step up to play?

He needed status.

She needed structure.

We recognized there were some differences, but that we could selectively collaborate together in the future. A better solution than clashing wills!

A form of expansion for my therapeutic services will be including flexibility in scheduling to be able to do clinics.

I do not seek it unless it is accompanied by wisdom, appreciation, authenticity, and trust.

Spreading comfort’s salvation.

Something in them fits me:
Cherished company I keep.