Category: The Accident – As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named “Clyde” (Short For Collide) Because It’s Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

“Like bleeding out energetically without needed stop-gap filler to meet, feed, and reset their function.”

“There’s been no denying, just realigning.”

These first two years since the accident
Have been about gaining distance away

From modes of tipping on edge of collapse
Which I would not let override endurance

Thus internal reroutings smack into walls
When continuing to push past allowances

With mainframe crashings from pressure
As keep reanimating limbs toward future

Something unmentioned has been
A bulging vessel inner pinky finger

Several weeks ago since I noticed
Unsure how long it’s been injured

Could have happened lifting any
Edge with angled weight cutting

I’ve been ignoring it to let heal as
Occasionally acts as trigger finger

Because the pain upon touching
Was swollen and pulse-alarming

Connective tissues and associated
Don’t have tensile tenacity as prior

“The few things that I choose to try to do on any given day are more than I ought to be attempting.

But I used to be able to do so much more!”

“Because I need more help to overcome all of this.”

There are exercises and nutrients that
With time and resources could benefit

But if I have just one unit for any effort
I must be careful as to where focusing

I got hurt again yesterday early eve
Simply walking and snagging shoe

Tripped carriage flinging extremes
Tore into junctures where repairing

“Cortisol haze from stress makes chest a heavy weight almost feeling like suffocating and illness in the mornimg.

It likely doesn’t help that I must drink caffeine mixtures daily in order to be able to think and function…

I refuse to take pharmaceutical medications that will leave a worsened effect while they’d claim to address my symptoms.”

There is no consistency that
I can rely on in these injuries

Zones are identified in variations
That intermittently work or worsen

Which keep putting me back into
States of great anxietal insecurity

Because I never know what I can
Count on in performance abilities

Add onto this that in trying to heal
New injuries occur in shift-adjusting

And their effect upon limbic systrm
Is like treading minefield explosions

Periods of “maybe I’m safe” occur
Then on into new crisis responses

It’s mainly the lockdown
And warning impingings

Telling me my body
Cannot do as much

After already having
Pushed beyond limits

I’ll still get up and try by
Calculated workarounds

Being as it has all ultimately
Been up to me to guarantee

I only struggle harder now
For even smaller advances

Which honesty creates panic
When limbs need down time

It’s all I can do to
Step up to the old

Recovering from work efforts
Vs.
Networking for more marketing

Brief momentum
Dissipating relies

Upon regatherimg
Strength to push

I had a job under pressure, working my bootie off for so much less money, in a no-win, time-crunch situation.

But though I sweated and the timing was hectic, I could do it if paced myself – and I felt no pain with good muscle coordination.

It was nice in those dream moments to not be injured.

Spnning wheels
Over same tracks

Anything accomplished
Is just matter of opinion

Consumerism hunting
For this or that object

In day’s heat because
It is too hot to garden

Or to catch up on dishes
From broken dishwasher

Where ableism assumes
Shoulders have no limits

“I might be at last gaining…”

Animation

Maybe she was getting better
It’s a luxury to remove the self

From dependency upon society
When could be marked disabled

The measure keeps up
Adjusts beleaguerement

Overwhelming to subdue
Flapping wings’ attempts

Dust clouds kicking rant
Of a life held face down

Kiss the ground
And be grateful

“DA** IT!”