“How can one catch up if the marker keeps moving ahead?”
Category: The Accident – As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named “Clyde” (Short For Collide) Because It’s Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense
Closed Loop System
“Dead ends all around.”
Responsibilty
“No one is responsible for me – except maybe the person who hit me and caused these disabilities.
But frankly, I just want the cures with healing and return of my capabilities.
Can I have this, please?”
I Guess They’ll Believe Me
“If I’m out on the streets…
I won’t go into a shelter.
Believe me.”
Agency Help
“Well…could you get another job?”
(What do you think I’m doing here?)
(Reasons – Dennis Lloyd)
No
“I don’t want to go down this slippery slope to disability.”
(Vore – Sleep Token)
Screaming
Inside
Air Flow
“It is one thing to choose to rest and settle…”
(Lose Yourself Again – Mansionair)
Hssssss – Haaates It!
“I do not like turning clients away (with referrals, of course) and being unable to help them!”
Falling
“With style!”
—
(From the movie, “Toy Story”)
It’s Too Late For Me Now
“I am altered.”
—
(Sleep Token “Alkaline” reference)
Hidden Measures
Limited independence
Unable to earn income
Yet plenty of struggle
Doing simplest tasks
One movement creates
Several parts against it
Muscles bend beyond
Normal planed edges
Or lock up rigid tight
Defying functionality
High Standards
“I’m ‘so done.’
And the fact that I’m so weary has got me irritated because I used to produce much more output.”
Cancellation Clause
“You can do anything you set your mind to…”
(Unless you have brain injury)
(Slow Down – EMBRZ)
I’m Not Gonna
“Sob due to nerve meltdown.”
Overcoming
“The pressure to perform was ever present, yet because I pushed, this further injured.
Now my internal messaging is being messed with.
Yay.”
The Numbers
“They were there, but I couldn’t reach them.”
Clamping Down
“An effect of the ‘freeze’ pattern.”
Division Of Mind
Prime directive switches modes
Depending upon focus selected
Calibrating survival maps
To match accessible data
(Heaven Is A Spectrum – Leo Faulkner)
“Spirit Within”
“In Mourning”
I Took Good Care Of Myself
“Youthful promise nicked at and blasted away is not even something original for me to say.”
(I Got Plenty O’ Nuttin’- Vienna Symphonic Rock Orchestra)
Gratitude
“Gratitude…”
It Felt Good
“Feeling self empowerment return on some levels and being able to contribute.
Having these taken away again is bewildering and feels terrible.”
(Chokehold – Sleep Token)
Accident Remnants
“‘You’ve got me in a chokehold…
So ‘even if I can’t sleep, show me the way.'”
—
(Sleep Token song reference)
I Thought I Could
“I planned to keep being there for a few, but symptoms worsen still – so even these, I had to postpone.”
Self Review
“When the chips are down, desperation makes it harder to see clear paths of morality.
Therefore, instead of relaxing to defrag reset, I increase my own pressure against resistance to keep visualizing and tracking.”
What Is Right
“I keep trying to do this, regardless of personal losses.”
Sleep Token’s “Caramel”
“This stage is a prison, a beautiful nightmare. A war of attrition. I’ll take what I’m given – the deepest incisions. I thought I got better, but maybe I didn’t.”
Dear Alex,
“I thought I could get better, that I could pull myself back together.
But parts of me bamphing out of the material realm while others got torn assunder makes it difficult for regeneration.
My body is trying, but is misdirected by the longterm inflammation – and this has now become something that I cannot fix on my own.”
(Let Me Come To Life – Klangkarussel)
I Want To Live
“Please universe, help me find my healings.”
Shock
“I had known it was ‘bad,’ but they had only found hints of the areas before that they had then waived off as minor, despite my unusually extreme symptoms”
Disorientation
“The pain had increased to such intensity over the past couple of weeks that getting it to finally back down a notch or two has me floating in hazey nerve fry.”
Wrenched
“I should have waited, knowing the dogs were distracted, but instead I waded right into them at the height of their excited surge-lauching toward the person behind me – and got my leg attachments pulled.
Dazed and confused, I feel insubstantial as the ground shifts ever constantly under me, making it difficult to find and retain my bearings.
(Likely, flip flops don’t help, but the toe needs a little more time)
Good thing I’m an air sign and can dissociate somewhat, othrwise I’m not sure I would have made it this far by endurence.”
Movement
(Pop!)
“My humerus at last repositioned!”
Full Stop
“I have just managed to extricate myself from the mode of ‘full steam ahead,’ pulling off into an eddied pool as the river of life keeps blasting full throttle downstream.
Having taken damage trying to keep up with the rapids, perhaps more gentle side streams might bypass and reconverge where navigating becomes smoother sailing.”
(Survive – Lewis Capaldi, Sollos Relax Mix)
Anything
“Please, just give me any position of comfort.
Anything…”
Dig Down Into The Mud
What good is all this talk of wings
When there is nothing left above?
—-
(Sleep Token lyrics from “Even In Arcadia”)
Cliff’s Edge
“It seems that I have come to the end of what I can due to bring in income, unless I deviate course drastically and have ability to wait for several months – if not longer.
What purpose to be driven to this precipice with only options as denial or acceptance?”
Misaligned
Cranial bones are shifted.
