Category: The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Motor Reactions

Candid Corvid Productions

“I am getting better at catching random objects in my functional environment before they fall after being knocked, but there is no cure for the witch hazel bottle squeeze-spilling out at the base of its cap where its design should have prevented, every time I tip the bottle to use it.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Unreal Messages

Candid Corvid Productions

“‘You don’t have to be strong all of the time…’

Oh, yeah?

Where’s my help?

All of the dishes get dirty by others after I’ve washed them – already hurting myself;

I’m doing cross-country terrain navigating regarding just my house even – through, around, and over hurdles with torn hips and ligaments screaming upon lifting and landing;

And no matter the efforts I put into anything, if I don’t keep up momentum, everything immediately spirals or crashes into diminished returns.

I am on my own, here – literally, IT’S ALL UP TO ME.

So kiss my a** – why don’t-cha?

Or step up and help me move this ever-sinling/capsixing ship of my life thing!”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Briefly Purple

Candid Corvid Productions

When she got up early the next morning to use the bathroom, she looked down and noted that her ankles and feet were turning purple.

She shouldn’t be surprised, though, due to how much she had danced through swelling – and she had felt proud to be at least briefly well coordinated.

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

DJ Blues

Candid Corvid Productions

Early in, she became frustrated with the DJ’s modality because as soon as he finally got into a good beat, he’d snatch it away again with minor interlude transitional meandering.

Once she figured out the pattern and had several songs yanked out from under her, she decided that it was time to stop pushing her injuries beyond their tolerances in her rare persuit of having some dancing fun.

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

It Still Gets Me

Candid Corvid Productions

“During the concussion accident, the prior car accident’s resultant bulging disc zone took whip-crack force impact twice immediately successively – and did not budge fomm either direction, despite weight and momentum.

No wonder there is stenosis.

My neck is trying to fuse as overcompensation for this injury and continued cervical and spinal instabilities.”

(Title of multiple meanings)

A Woman's Plight, Society, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Ignorant Gaslighting

Candid Corvid Productions

“They had me take the past MRI’S lying down, where everything temporarily realigns.

Then they tell me nothing’s wrong – even when they see indicators where I told them they would find them.

Despite what I tell them, the doctors march blindly onward, and all neuro facilities for one reason or another still will not see me.

It is up to me to heal myself.

Everything is always just up to me to deal with.

It is a contorted version of free will in a society often on the verge of disbanding.”

A Woman's Plight, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

The Accident

Candid Corvid Productions

Almost tore me in half.

There is a twist in my gut so severe.

And I remember how my spine almost split.

The injury is still there.

I have been trying to regrow around it.

To get it to re-expand, rather than tear.

Tears…tears fall…

I try to not think about it.

Going on three years, soon.

Trying to walk again, without slipping or falling.

Trying to somehow keep living, striving, and believing…

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Is Barely Enough?

Candid Corvid Productions

About to attend another retraining, she knew that due to her concussion, she would barely be able to preview the material, if at all, before workshops commenced.

The best that she could do at this time would be to show up and absorb the practice experience – leaving further indepth study for when she’d begin to integrate techniques into her practice.

Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Saturday’s Task

Candid Corvid Productions

“A friend helped me take apart the cattery and get the varied shaped panels around the pampass grass roots.

The funny thing is, for too long I kept trying to shape the fencing in two arcs around the two separate clusters of clumps – but kept needing more extensions, which were limited.

She then determined that if we placed them linearly in front of the clumps and only arced on one end, then attached both ends to other prior existing fencing, we would have enough panels to do the job.

But my brain had been overcomplicating instead of simplifying due to the concussion.

And today’s event reinforced the understanding that for once I was automatulically creatuve, rather than linaer inclined.”

A Woman's Plight, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Yesterday

Candid Corvid Productions

First neurofeedback session in over two months because she had been too hurt and fragile to try again since last November.

The concussion had interrupted spinal communication and had compressed her chest, as well as had made it necessary for her to clamp down and not allow feelings to flow.

The session reconnected these things, and she had memories come to surface that had been hidden away, long ago.

Like realizing in a connective continuum that hypervigilance had pretty much always been necessary.

And remembering one brief time where her ex had opened up to her with no warning, and she had been positioned wrong to receive it in timing – and he never did, again.

Then, for the rest of the afternoon, she had been crying hard about feeling like she had to rehome beloved pets.

She broke down to the lady at the shelter as she examined that option, to a family member with their partner – and even to her caring and supportive neighbor.

Tears kept flowing on her own throughout the evening and a type of shock – shock from so many losses.

What the heck was all of this?

Emotional fatigue and a lifetime of over performing’s exhaustion while having to lead alone, carrying too much for too long without integral partner support had worn into her.

She could feel her heart wrestling with all of it.

She wanted to shed the weight’s pressure – like a snake sheds skin that has grown too tight to live within.

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Giving Up

Candid Corvid Productions

“As the captain of yet another ark filled with so many inhabitants which are now under my protection’s jurisdiction as I, myself, am required to now travel abroad to work for reparations despite my own injuries – and with very little help from anybody – I now declare this floating overflowed zone as lacking for recepetion of any company!”

Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Still Motion

Candid Corvid Productions

Stuck in pause
Hearing clunks as others
Go about their activities
And I just cannot muster
The desire to join them
But maybe that’s ok because
They get the space for living
And I show up as a cameo
To be helped getting out the door
And then they get some privacy
Maybe this arrangement’s needed
And maybe I’m on pause so that
I do not hit replay of past memories
For I must guard that door carefully
And maybe my abilities are blocked
To wipe the slate clean for a reset
But this confuses and alarms me
Because I don’t have a quiet space
So that I can think and expand without
Having to curb reaction to stimulus
Staying in one place over time
Allows me to feel ebbs and flows
Yet I feel that I can’t produce
My life is on hold and I need
Yet am afraid to trust guidance
Independence allows room to breathe
Being alone is a known without
Worrying I won’t be enough
Because I need help
And also I know that
Once I recover (if, if, if, if, if)
I will want to fly again
But no man has stayed
When I am weak or strong
Always finding reason
To feel intimidated or let down
By their own lacks projected
Swinging like the disk of
A clock’s pendulum
And if I need help now
If I need saving now
Am I less than worthy
Of a man’s devotion?

—

(Title of multiple meanings)