Category: Where Demons Tread

“Where exactly is one’s soul?

An ache behind my sternum deeper into chest cavity for the music classes ending – wondering in a type of loss-filled panic how much time remains to gather the info before the portals close.”

“When you begin exibiting your art is the same time when I began posting my writings. Growth rings.”

Rigged but
Achieved

“It twists around inside because
My instincts lack confirmation

What if I am wrong again
Ever played as the fool?”

“When I think of how much my life keeps shifting, I get vexed because I wish I could do more with the energy lost in just trying to keep adapting.”

“I do not like revisiting the details of how the accident altered my life’s course of events, but it is good to order them and put them categorically to rest.”

“It sucks when efforts to succeed are still not enough.”

Which is more dangerous?
The predator that manages
Or the rabid which destroys?

“Feeling insignificant.”

“I wonder if there will come space for me to develop my musicianship.

I keep having to tighten down – and thus I get locked out of the inner room where I can connect with it.”

“Are better than others.”

“I’m rallying.”

“Yep. Uh huh. Sure thing. Right.”

“Sharing the load of an eviction notice, rather than fighting off panic on one’s own.”

“Ever do the wicked attempt to abuse it.”

Sometimes I feel
That I must be one

Digging down to
Hold against flood

The danger for me is that
I might love you too much

I stayed distant to keep perspective
I couldn’t handle it if you didn’t care

What you live and give from your heart
Such emotional inteligence off charts!

My energy surges to be with you
Self regulation alone is no option

So I keep closing the door firmly again
Praying for the day you’ll come calling

“Thickens you up so you can hit back as hard as you take.”

“I mean, seriously – I’ve already gone through these cycles multiple times!

Yet, now I have to fight against injuries.

W.T.F.”

“I think the struggles are wearing on me.”

“Daily life is a fecking struggle – and I can get growly-spitty because of the efforts needed to push all of this crap off of me!”

“Why am I so bitey, today?”

“Pretend I’m not in torment.”

(Fecking eyes on fire)

Black mirth.

“As each day must be met, so too must challenges be reacknowledged.”

“Just the vet expenses alone for the three end-of-life cats and sick wolf just entering issues amounts to several, several months of rent that I could have had to help continue sustaining us.

But loss of money is not the real loss.”

“It keeps happening.”

“I keep trying to corral them – but they keep finding ways to slip through any cracks!”

(Another bill charged incorrectly)

She could not handle monsters
For they enjoyed terrifying her

But when her child began seeing
Strangely-shaped night creatures

She asked her child’s perception
And learned these were friendly

So she encouraged explorations
Psychologically through artwork

Believing that healthy development
Bloomed exploring the subconscious

Whereas her own experience twisted
Because men had imprinted violence

“It makes no difference – show me the way.”

—

(Sleep Token Ref)

“I don’t know, anymore.”

“But I cannot seem to get to the other side.”