Category: Where Demons Tread

Forces conspire to
Take me away from you
‘Ere we may again be united

“Desperation’s depression has descended upon me to where I am struggling to not just shut down and stop trying – while I grapple to create a new philosophy because what worked before is no longer applying.”

How is it ever that adults
Could say it’s a child’s job

To protect their selves against
Predatory adults given access

When adults in general would
Punish children for defiance?

“Nobody helped me handle the real monsters when I was a child.”

“I am struggling to open the door to whom I must and want to become.

But, no matter how I try, it’s pushing back at me.”

“And I tried – God how I tried – but it wasn’t in my hands to be able to stop it and turn it.

In a Man’s world
Man is absolved

Regardless of
Harm’s actions

While women
And children

Suffer resultant
Consequences

“Vitality can burn out in the constant struggle for survival.”

“What pays the price and brings resolution other than more loss?”

“When the kids and I climbed out of our first bout of homelessness, what I call “The Blacks” hit me hard.

And I knew that if I gave in to their sticky, dark, grippimg hands pulling me into the deepest depression imagined that I would fail my children, who were already now at great risk.

Since then, not only have I been “fighting” for our survival in the external realms, but also in the internal realms where the demons haunt because they’ve known my name sunce my freedom had been traded for another’s.

Only now, maybe, is it even possible to let the darkness overtake me and not lose my children to it…maybe I’ll lose myself, but I’ll have to wait and see…”

Where is it Good
That I have been

Cast out of Heaven
To dwell in darkness

Forced to boost my children to
Catch only glimpses of the sun

Holding by weakening arms
Struggling to remain strong

When I once had wings and
Could have raised them high

Giving them the whole world
Without stunted compromise

And how they feared to own truth
When learned wings could burn

How they fought my good reasoning
When witnessed unjust punishment –

Thinking perhaps it was best to accept
Living in darkness as payment’s safety

How we each fought our demons
Cornering us to mistrust our love

How we struggled to uncover our truth
Buried in wreckage, cleansed by tears

Until at last they grew strong enough to
Turn inward and embrace the true self

Pushing me aside, soft to abruptly
As every child must do, eventually

And realized their own wings
Had not burned from the fall

When he and his partner had children, it was an opportunity to ensure correction of how they had been poorly raised by their own parents.

They could now rewrite the script and grow their own children in love by cooperatively working as a team together for the greater good of their family.

But he got spooked at being in this arrangement because his childhood had been filled with destructive behaviors and actions against him by a dominating and controlling single mother.

So he kept looking for any flaw within his partner, picking on her “playfully” as he cut down her confidence and subverted her efforts and careful plans aimed at creating their advancing stability.

He tormented her positivity and innovative reasoning until, after too many years, she at last broke down into nerves and lashed out at him, “justifying” his inherent mistrust.

He took a good, solid woman and turned her into “a monster” because of his own fears – then cast her off to single parent in poverty.

When the dirt crumbles
Out from under one’s feet

Solid ground reveals itself to be
Only transitional and temporary

As one grasps for hand holds
Demanding reliance upon self

Clinging to roots in the darkness of
Trees reaching for the sky’s wealth

The question must not be examined too closely regarding if a person deserves chances to succeed when they are vulnerable and in need.

It must be a repeatedly miindful exercise to keep enduring through stalting hardships.

Being the brundt of it sucks!

“I’m not interested in ‘single sock mode’ right now…”

No f***s to give as to why it is there.

Being an isolated unit that is targeted by unfair disparagements.

Distance is needed when people’s behaviors are toxic to the internal self’s thriving.

For being a beneficial and nurturing prime candidate for good partnership.

—

For miscommunications due to lack of sharing common language during crisis.

“Being an angel cast into hell to be roasted is not my idea of a good time!”

Not fun to be on the receiving side of it.

Defend territory.