“Youthful promise nicked at and blasted away is not even something original for me to say.”
(Band On The Run – Paul McCartney & Wings)
Going
“Mad.”
(Emergence – Dawn Avery, Ash Dargan & Ron Warren)
(I Got Plenty O’ Nuttin’- Vienna Symphonic Rock Orchestra)
Gratitude
“Gratitude…”
It Felt Good
“Feeling self empowerment return on some levels and being able to contribute.
Having these taken away again is bewildering and feels terrible.”
(Chokehold – Sleep Token)
Accident Remnants
“‘You’ve got me in a chokehold…
So ‘even if I can’t sleep, show me the way.'”
—
(Sleep Token song reference)
I Thought I Could
“I planned to keep being there for a few, but symptoms worsen still – so even these, I had to postpone.”
Self Review
“When the chips are down, desperation makes it harder to see clear paths of morality.
Therefore, instead of relaxing to defrag reset, I increase my own pressure against resistance to keep visualizing and tracking.”
What Is Right
“I keep trying to do this, regardless of personal losses.”
(Wanna Be Somewhere With You – Rules)
“Elements”
Dear Alex,
“I did it…
I brought us all full circle.
The kids are grown, successfully.
I provided for them and our animals.
People helped along the way, but I held the line – I held onto the vision and the memory.
Forgive me when I collapse, exhausted and empty.”
(Here Is The House – Depeche Mode)
Here In This House
A near replica of the one where
We were crowded by addiction
But now there’s yard space flex
And neighbors’ sane community
Dear Friend,
“Give them what they came for.
I believe in you.”
Dear Alex,
“I wish you were here with me, and that I could be there with you.”
Sleep Token’s “Caramel”
“This stage is a prison, a beautiful nightmare. A war of attrition. I’ll take what I’m given – the deepest incisions. I thought I got better, but maybe I didn’t.”
Dear Alex,
“I thought I could get better, that I could pull myself back together.
But parts of me bamphing out of the material realm while others got torn assunder makes it difficult for regeneration.
My body is trying, but is misdirected by the longterm inflammation – and this has now become something that I cannot fix on my own.”
(Let Me Come To Life – Klangkarussel)
Running Free
Queen Of My Own Castle
“Magical Incense”
Cute Movie Pick: Marry Me
Changing it up by marrying first, then getting to know each other inclusively.
I Want To Live
“Please universe, help me find my healings.”
“Golden Eye”
(I Know How To Speak – Manchester Orchestra, Acoustic)
Birth Year Woes
“Paladian Showers Infinitum”
“Infinitum”
(Into the Celestia – Silent Velvet, Péter Jakus)
(Where It Leads – Euan Ellis)
Justice
We long for times when
Wrongs are put to rights
Manipulation facing dictates
Of Hell’s wrath no longer late
Either recanting to obtain
Lost innocence reclaimed
Or gathered eaten whole for
Recycling of corrupted souls
(Eastern Love – Ahmet Cegil & HilalDeep)
Reset My Patient Violence
Look To Windward – Sleep Token Clip
Dear Friend,
“Will you halt this eclipse in me?”
—
(Sleep Token reference)
Media Propagation
“It’s been very effective at dividing us from connection to others, parceling us down into vulnerable, independent units in order to direct our funds to their profits’ coffers.”
Shock
“I had known it was ‘bad,’ but they had only found hints of the areas before that they had then waived off as minor, despite my unusually extreme symptoms”
Disorientation
“The pain had increased to such intensity over the past couple of weeks that getting it to finally back down a notch or two has me floating in hazey nerve fry.”
(Truth Begins – Klangkarussell & Blazey)
Wrenched
“I should have waited, knowing the dogs were distracted, but instead I waded right into them at the height of their excited surge-lauching toward the person behind me – and got my leg attachments pulled.
Dazed and confused, I feel insubstantial as the ground shifts ever constantly under me, making it difficult to find and retain my bearings.
(Likely, flip flops don’t help, but the toe needs a little more time)
Good thing I’m an air sign and can dissociate somewhat, othrwise I’m not sure I would have made it this far by endurence.”
(Suddenly · Olivia Newton-John & Cliff Richard, From Xanadu)
A New Phase
“I’d like to say I am ready, but handing over reins to other competant people is not something that I’m used to having the option of.”
(Magic – Olivia Newton John)
Movement
(Pop!)
“My humerus at last repositioned!”
Candid Corvid Productions 