“Nyeeer-rooom!” stomp-running down wooden reverberations hall to smack into whatever still object (hopefully soft) with an “Oomph!” and giggle, followed by a mirthfully satisfied, yet downplayed, gleefully settled “Hi.”
Maybe
“I’ll get into video editing for some career retraining since I seem to enjoy visual arts.”
Regrets
“Decisions past made that had we known what we’ve learned now, we would have better attended to with this advanced understanding.”
Dragon Flame
Seething hatred
Eyes on fire ire
Casting blasting
Counterspells
Desperately
Exploding
Eroding
Traction
To free wings
For flight again
Restrictions
“These rules are borked!:
(Lonely – VisionV, Goom Gum Remix)
Dear Friend,
The basic realities of my life
Are me trying to linger in bed
Giving my systems more time
To rest before burn out again
Then staying in motion for as
Long as I can manage output
It’s a dead-end cycle recurring
Without exciting alternatives
Jagged Edges
I have a comfortable bed
Or so I’d like to think of it
But there’s rarely a position
That I can find this comfort
Maybe I need to add another
Layer of foam to cushion me
Perhaps too much inflamed
Pain never abating hinders
The recovery I’ve needed
To overcome the injuries
Late Teens, On My Own
“In everything I did, I looked for traces of love – and gave it, even if not returned.”
(Magic Man – Heart)
Permutations
I want to garden
But do I not lift?
Or grip and dig,
Or kneel, or shift
As extend to retract
Endurent dynamics?
What can I do
And shouldn’t?
One day left for rest
Isn’t enough further
I just workout and
Travel spiral circles
Going over same paths
Seeking spark’s interest
Things get done without
Motivated life’s purpose
Except living day to day
Trying to restore basics
Love’s Reforesting
Lost Trust From Abandonment
“Due to lack of others’ followthrough.
I guess this is why I keep trying to be independent.
Necessity into habit.”
Healer & Protector
“They are saying this is a right combo.
I kept developing my skills as a healer, but the others stopped protecting.
I had to take on both roles in absence of others’ followthrough.
No wonder I struggle with burnout.”
Therapy Dog/Demon
A Day On Mercury
Taking On Mass
She deserved better than giving up, so she just fought to deal with the ‘impact.’
(History repeating in waves)
“Molten”
“Choose Your Path”
“A Hand Up”
“Pixel Haze”
The Weekend
(Whitesnake – Easier Said Than Done [Unzipped] ft. The Hook City Strings, 2025 Remix)
(Moving Forward – Kyle LIONHART)
Heatwave Losses
“I could only tend to so far, and have lost my large wisteria, green beans, and the count is going up.”
“Portal”
Sky Above, Earth Below
“What do you want from me?” she asked the ether, looking skywards.
“I want you to be happy…” a male voice replied – which both calmed and further unsettled her discombobulated nerves.
Reaching For Sanitys Safety
Sunlight’s warmth to greet me
Leaves, grass, trees, and sky
Mountains protecting
Soothing inner eyes
Back To The Surface
“‘Oh, sweet relief!’ as we returned to the first floor of normal sounds and colors!”
Panic At The Disco
OMG – even the gown and curtains are pixelated, and everything is just blocks and lines like in Minecraft!
Aaaaauuugghh, my reality is melting!”
Object Identification
“Difficulty because hospital corridors contain multiple frequency reverberating hums, and everything in view is 3-D grids.”
Cold & Shaking
“I don’t know why, but it is harder for me to get to my own doctor appts.
Had to get to MRI’s this morning.
First of all, I am no longer ok in the morning.
You could say it’s because I don’t get to sleep until around 2am or so, but my internal biorhythms are altered.
And I won’t detail the diffuculty, but once I got into the hospital where everything was shutdown to minimum operations on the weekend, I had to request wheelchair assistance to help me get checked in and settled into the correct waiting room properly.
The anxiety crush meltdown of gratefully accepting a wheelchair to be shuttled more quickly and safely than my legs and increasing disorientation could take me was alarming.
But there was a kind, older lady that I helped get confirmed in her own location, and she extended to me saying, ” Always ask for a wheelchair in the airport,” confidingly – as I just about broke into tears for needing the darn thing.”
Closure
She met her new intended love briefly in the dreamworld, and it felt good but odd to let her heart begin shifting so strongly to this man she could barely see and little yet knew.
He receeded back into the fog to give her space to process, and she found herself working with a Hispanic family, trying to help figure out their complicated washing machines to get their many loads going.
But then, their matriarch unexpectedly wrapped her in a playful-yet-strong bear hug from behind and began tickling her mercilessly as one of her own, giving official release from assigned labors.
With them both laughing so hard way beyond norms of society, she desperately struggled until she could get free of the matriarch’s grip, and took her happy, grateful leave of them.
Next, she found herself on a college campus, meeting her ex who seemed open to their patching things back together.
She chatted with him and could feel that old, heavy pendulum swinging back up its usual arc into false hope before it would guillotine back down again and woosh into loss’s tragedy.
When she ran out of things to say as the two of them continued walking for far too long back to an apartment that they were cleaning, she realized that he only spoke in response to her subject comments, never offering more or other topics, nor expanding.
That cold, sickening feeling of flat gray silence returned, and as they arrived, she began disconnecting as passed him while he paused in the hallway.
“You’re not really wanting to continue this, are you?” she asked, daring to finally blast through the lies of his playing along to the contrary.
Then she stopped and turned, looking right at him for the truth, and he at last clearly admitted, “I think that’s obvious, don’t you?”
Turning away again to heavily lift her feet up the stairs, she wondered at all of the years that he’d just played along – and shoved at the pain that his walled-off company had created in her, and that sense of being in a.suffocation chamber she could never break out of.
But at last the illusions were shattering, and his dream self was finally releasing her.
Looking around the disarrayed room, she realized that this time, she could leave another’s self-created mess far behind her.
Sleeping Octopus
Be Soft And Fluffy
“Convergence”
“Lift Me Up!”
“Her Search”
Blood Ties
Being around her thriving family began making her blood seek ways for healing.
(In Your Arms – ARTBAT)
(Love Language – Crooked Colours)
The Trouble With Ex’s
“They were afraid of my power and/or underestimated my adaptabilities.”
(To Love Again – Blonde Maze & Lizzy Land)
The Right Fit
“She needed him in more ways than one.”
Birds Of A Feather (Dear Friend,)
I see you ever-awakening
When falling back get up
I see you ever-evolving
Finding after losing self
Over and over I witness
Refashioning reclaiming
My past loves’ glimpses
Always fell asleep again
Resenting as resisting my
Pleading then demanding
For their remembering
To my detriment’s ends
It feels like succumbing to
Getting pulled into Maw’s
Relentless tractor beams’
Only recourse after death
Losing who I was before
And always wanted to be
Will you remember me if
We get swallowed whole?
Would you reach for me
However far I would go?
Dive in after me so deep
We’d reemerge elsewhere
Maybe not as who we were
But able to become more?
Would you remember
So that I could forget
As share eased vigilance’s
Soothing by salted sweat?
I need to give up this fight
Yet afraid I’ll lose identity
Negative reinforcements
Need program rootkitting
Inability to trust the process
Creates a faze-like madness
Would you be the one
I could ever rely upon
Just as I would provide for
Your needs in any weather?
Could we own and redefine
What it means to be together?
Signs & Signals
“It feels like there is no real help, only signs and signals pointing the way if one keeps looking for and innovating solutions despite ‘diminishing’ capacities.”
(Vore – Sleep Token)
Dear Friend,
You have become the voice in my head
My metaphors fall short in the end
My life is torn, my bones, they bleed
Will the pain stop if we go deeper?
Follow me between the jaws of fate
So I can have you to myself for once
—
(From Lyrics of Sleep Token’s “Vore”)
Logic That Bi***!
“The injuries are becoming a psychological hindrance as they do not fade – but, in fact, become more insistent and prevalent.
The mind cannot help but panic when experiencing increasing complication impulses – yet, it must struggle to overcome meltdown shutdowns while seeking a newly defined pragmatism.
For it makes sense that as more systems reboot, extent of prior damages becomes ever more clear – and that system overload would increase as additional jagged impulses are seeking to be added to healing’s reintegration.”
Even-Keeled
“Means something entirely different in seeking balance when one’s boat is flipped, and staying submerged in water’s engulfing suction seems to be the end result, anyway (unrelenting) – especially when one’s sea legs are no longer stable above surface in sailing.”
Candid Corvid Productions 