By Athena Stairs, Approximately 2:40AM, May 15, 2025 (Because Time Matters :D)
This is my original. A first raw on-the-fly with fans on to induce my “wild magic” into feeling safe to come out to play. Volume gets greater, so protect your ears. Please contact me for permissions. Just getting myself to show up and start developing my vocal range capacities.
This one’s for you, my love, wherever you are.
“Harmonizing today, I did not erase it in an anxiety-crash reflex like the first attempt.
But, luckily, SoundCloud cited a copyright issue and stopped uploading.
That’s ok, though, because I realized after this that my having succeeded could have caused me other issues.
I am not sure now how to proceed, when I am inspired by others’ music.
Would it be enough to record my voice alone, yet by my listening to the music non-captured through headphones?
I’d want to give the artist(s) credit, though, which might still prevent uploading.
Yeah…my newby-isms are showing.”
“Our wolf is going blind so rapidly, it hurts to see her afraid and startling at things.”
“Escapism might be an only way to keep surviving.”
“Who needs drugs when you can just see the humor in trauma – and laugh with the insanity loudly, right into the face of the maw?”
(Albeit it takes practice ;D)
(Ok, “laughing so hard, I’m dyin’)
(Where’s the “laughing so hard I’m crying” emoji here in WordPress?!)
YAAS!
(Waving 70’s-born tenacious fist in the air.)
“Those old vampire stories propagated misinformation about women always gracefully conceeding to compulsion.
There’s a reason the vampires only went after younger ones!”
My love
I know
You have
The power
But my sweet
Let me be
Or make me yours
Wholly
I can’t sleep
Barely eat
Tangled up
In your messages
You’ve got to know
I’ve awakened
And I’m
Starving for you
“‘Be careful what you think. Be careful what you think. Be careful what you think.’
This – after again trying to catch some of my harmonies.”
5-String bass and 12-string magic harp.
Because I just have to be different.
“It’s important to note that just as healing begins, sh** comes out of the woodwork.
Then comes the suggestion, ‘Burn it all down’ – but action must be tempered with wisdom.”
“What name should I speak to honor you?”
“I ordered the extra textbook needed and got this message as emailed reply:
‘Thank you for your order. The items below have shipped. Your order may arrive in multiple packages.’
– ?!?!”
“I was able to briefly bolster in such a way to lay on my left side despite shoulder and neck injuries.
My heart could at last rest, instead of being perched high, suspended.
My stomach could cozy against intestines, instead of dangling inside, distended.
And my fingers twitched in REM when awakening from a few minutes’ slumber.
Lack of this positioning might be contributing to insomnia.”
By Athena Stairs, May 14, 2025
I could get
So into you
Leave you cryin’
Boo hoo
For when you had
Time alone in hand
Swept out to sea
Beggin’ for land
Yeah baby
Before we’re through
I wanna dive
Deep into you
To where your
Soul’s peaking
Get it skittering
Beseaching
As our hearts are racin’
For a better view
Pacin’ like a predator
You say you’ve got a tether
My teeth are sharper
Ready to puncture
‘Cause the female’s the more
Dangerous of our species
It’s true
Baby
I could get
So into you
—
(Slow, deep scintillation modes with intermittent intensity)
Contact me for permissions.
Well do you have any idea
What you’d be getting in for
If I were free to be truely myself
Unafraid of critical judgement?
Like a puppy newly whelped I’d be
Stumbling about to gain steady feet
Chirping and flitting around the house
More gay than the proudest parakeet
Pouncing upon your sheets
Like a kitten of endless leaps
Then burrowing against skin
To breathe in the taste of sin
“How do we function in ‘normal’ life when hopes and dreams have become scattered?”
How do we approach
What our hearts’ desire
When between man and woman
Churns burning ash of political ire
All the way back to the losses of Eden
We’ve been told we must be enemies
Except where our ancestors
Lived as one with the trees
How do we heal these wounds
Passed onto us by persecution?
How do we transform the fear
Waiting to distort truth in us
—
(I love the title reminding of the serpent, the taboo of knowledge, awareness, and passion – yet in goddess and other cultures, the serpent represents life, itself)
By Athena Stairs, May 14, 2025
You say you want to love me
But what do you know of loving
But pain and anguished suffering
Will you reject me when I’m happy
Will you discard me when I’m sad
I’m a wild animal and
You are still a man
If I let my guard down
You’ll see everything
Who I used to be
What was taken
For nothing
For nothing
But another’s soul tormented
And I accused of oppression
I’ll destroy you
I’ll destroy you
If I love you
God I want to
Because love is bad
I learned it was bad
How dare I be good
How dare I be valiant
How dare I be there for my man!
—-
Contact me for permissions
When they had finished
She lay in his arms briefly
Then suddenly began
Getting up as programmed
Because she had learned that
Hypervigilance was the only survival
Mechanism she could depend on
And distance if wanted to keep a man
“Shhh, come back to bed,” he said
Sure arms wrapping to cage her gently
And she yielded gratefully
But couldn’t help twitching
Like an injured bird afraid
Of love’s healing hands
I’ll be the healing for you
I’ll make your dreams come true
Tonight tonight
Tonight tonight
—–
(Tbc with open deep minor chords shifting tone found in beginning of “Ascensionism” by Sleep Token)
“How do you know what key to push or string to pluck? My inner ear is out of luck – though I call it when I feel it.”
The days and nights are long
Stretching ahead and behind
Remembering faintly family
And brief taste of the divine
In an awkward twenty years
Discordance resulted in tears
Desires of hoped for future
Stuffed behind paper books
A brief segment in time
Was a life bud’s wealth
Fleeing from other history
Where savagery was dealt
Adjusting solitude phases
To continue on in stealth
Unsure now how to reach
Safe harbor’s destination
“Is it possible that once a good man has secured a good woman, that after he’s come to know what seems like everything about her, that he would be open to and wanting her to keep growing and evolving – and that even if she someday could no longer, that he would love her and cherish her just as strong as ever?”
You speak of silence
Do you always hear?
I often “feel” echos of
Untamed impressions
There’s the type of impact
That continues damaging
Years after abandonment
And there’s the type
That pushes forcefully
To dislodge an arrow tip
So that the wounded
Can bleed freely for
Cleansing recovery
“Ever we chase it like butterflies in a meadow.”
STOP!
“It has been extreme since the accident.
Today I am trying a new medication for it, simply because I need to gain an edge on this whole thing.
It is supposed to be like Advil and Naproxin, but I already feel it affecting my brain.
If I clearly can’t take pharmaceuticals and marijuana, what hope is there in using CBD?
WTF – do I need herbs and fairy dust to aid me?!”
Oh darn it!
You got me
Tantilizing
Instigating
Speaking my words
Summoning kinship
Drawing out poison
From wounds’ swell
Cleansing my veins
Tearing aside veils
As if you have
Known me well
Flexing your might
Displaying muscles
I can’t help but laugh at
How well you’ve grown
Mm
In exchanging the years
We were walking beside
What you went through
My own hell’s validation
I feel such a fool to
Have been in hiding
When I look at you
Openly confiding
And have a feeling that
You’d poke me gently
Teasing me lovingly
For behaving so silly
But also understanding
Why I couldn’t emerge
Until you yourself
Chose to purge
How many have you
Awakened with call?
Are we to burst
Through shells
Scrambling over each other
In heated frenzy to reach you
And throw our fealty
At your kissable feet
Fighting and bickering to
See who is most worthy?
Well I will not compete
But observe from afar
Sobbing and writhing
In dreams set on fire
I know my own worth now
You’ve grown your own too
I wish I could reach you
And cast off those fools
But a goddess is more
Than a supplicant vore
Even though my fangs
Want to consume you
Well you have
Fractured loss
Into millions of
Bright fragments
Like some bomb
Cracking atoms
Bursting colors
With declaration
Death has no dominion
In these darkest realms
And I no longer need fear
Your wounds nor my self
For though I’ve been here
You’ve long deeper delved
Consumed by such demons
Yet giving them fighting hell
Honed by sharpest blades
Enlightened wisdom’s well
Once servant now master
I’ve somehow known well
In dreams or lost memories
Supressed now rewakening
Your shout-out demanding
Grabbing soul as compells
I would run but transfixed
By my heart pouring blood
No choice but to speak
Your name in this flood
I can’t hide anymore that
It’s you I’ve always loved
Candid Corvid Productions 