“What pays the price and brings resolution other than more loss?”
(Drag Me Under – Sleep Token, Visualizer)
From Then, On
“When the kids and I climbed out of our first bout of homelessness, what I call “The Blacks” hit me hard.
And I knew that if I gave in to their sticky, dark, grippimg hands pulling me into the deepest depression imagined that I would fail my children, who were already now at great risk.
Since then, not only have I been “fighting” for our survival in the external realms, but also in the internal realms where the demons haunt because they’ve known my name sunce my freedom had been traded for another’s.
Only now, maybe, is it even possible to let the darkness overtake me and not lose my children to it…maybe I’ll lose myself, but I’ll have to wait and see…”
Reclusion
“Unfortunately, it seems to increase with time.”
Logic’s Limits
“If I was not desired in my younger years, why would I be desired when injured?”
(Melancholia – Lynnic & ItsArius, Live Set Part 2)
(Melancholia – Lynnic & ItsArius, Live Set Part 1)
Reactivation
My paperwork has been processed!
Innocence
“Why do we only protect the children – if at all – and not also each other?”
Music Maker
Time grows thicker as
Impressions leverage
A blend of mad sickness
Still denied reason’s cure
While feverish dreaming
Refuels by inflammation
Inattendance beckoning to
Yield by instant atonement
Negativity
“A reflection of absence of faith and/or hope.”
(You’re Not Alone – Franky Wah & Olive)
Soul Sickness
“I can tell that a reason that I feel deeply depressed is because I am not making music, but I can’t seem to break the lockdown while I’m prevented from bringing in income.”
(Sweet Disposition – Elderbrook, Hotel Session #44)
Sublime…
On The Edge Of Reason
“Being invited out by a man to something I think I’d enjoy, yet feeling the need to turn the event down to conserve limited energy, has got me wondering if I am folding inward more extremely to protect myself – and/or have I reached a new level of advanced introversion?”
Potential
“I pray to God that that is what is building up imside of me…”
“Spring Blooms”
“Phoenix Belt”
In progress for an upcoming event! 😀
(Our House – Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young)
Organ-isms
It was time for her to start reclaiming her abdominal tenacity that had been strained and contorted from the accident’s impact.
(Unissakavija – Havukruunu)
Awaken The Dead
Already!
(Here On Earth – Tiesto ft. Carey Brothers)
Flatlined
Either there was nothing or
Waves of grief kept coming
Was this a type of depression
Sucking her will to keep living?
(Awake Me – Rosie Carney)
“Kitchen Helpers”
Alone Time
“It’s not a bad life…
I could do this…”
Back To The Beginnimg
“When I was a child, I spent a lot of time alone at my gransparents’ house.
When I say alone, that meant that grandpa was away for music business or golf during the day, while grandma was either cleaning house, watching golf, or come evening, cooking for all of us.
Simple things to eat were always available, like potato chips, slices of cheese, some crisp head lettuce, and bread and lunch meat.
My place was either in the front side bedroom listening to A-tracks, or on the floor in the kitchen, watching B-matinee movies.
Now, as I wait for paperwork processing to be able to resume my healing therapies, there’s a lot of me tending to the animals in the front room before the fire, and kitchen duties accompanied by the comfort of netflix or music piped through the phone set on repeat…
And pretty much the same simple diet for the kid in me.”
“Our Baby’s Face”
(Sleepless – Avalon, PaulWetz, Nu Aspect, Yuma)
Suspended Animation
She couldn’t reach for the things that she wanted, held down by the weight of poverty.
“Coy Moon”
It turns out that I caught the eclipse!!!
Wolf Pack Reunion
(This Time – Jeremy Zucker)
In A State Of Lockdown
“As if I’m afraid to make a wrong move…”
Quote Of The Day
“I am a very cautious unicorn.”
After Shocks
“I guess when the children have grown and no longer so much depend upon a mother’s consistency, it is finally ‘safe’ for her ‘to let down her hair’ and process more fully her own experiences.”
(Something About You – Elderbrook, Live One Take, The Eye Sessions)
Artist Dedication: Elderbrook
The more I happen across this artist’s music, the more it soothes and redeems my soul.
Thank you for all of your amazing work.
(Smile – Elderbrook, Live At Brixton Academy Snippet)
A Rope To Pull On
“It’s important to set achievable, short-term, small goals to create a sense of one’s striving when a life’s purpose seems to have become terribly upended and motivation sputters.”
Elder Sense
“A much respected older peer once told me to write the story of my life one day.
But what could I say that would make sense of all of the tragedies?
Pain’s pressure squeezes as it builds over time, until not a drop of blood feels like it can ever again flow freely.
It forces hope’s light to seek shelter, buried deep underground, begging for the end of growth’s dormancy.”
Elegance
“One can have it – and not need to beg attention for it.”
(Old Friend – Elderbrook, Live Acoustic)
Slow-Mo
“If I keep slowing down to just process the hits I’ve taken, will my being reboot and I won’t feel forsaken?”
(Pink Pony Club – Chappell Roan)
I’ll Be There
“There’s an event I’m looking forward to, and I’ll be dressed in aspects of a phoenix.”
Psychological Warfare
“I do think that when one discovers that they’ve just been being used again, there is going to be a hit taken of further negative psychological impact.”
Less And Less
“I am not sure if it’s good or not that I need to rest and sleep more while only being able to do like one fourth of what I used to do.”
Lack And Limitations
“I have an opportunity to possibly pursue more training, but doing evetything on my own while still recoverimg from injuries is keeping me barely treading water.”
Candid Corvid Productions 