Stream of Thought

Raggedy Ann And Andy

Candid Corvid Productions

One year, when I was still very young, my mother and I decided it would be so cool for me to be Raggedy Ann for Halloween. She made my costume and hair and did the makeup for me.

Thrilled at our innovation and hoping that no one else had thought to be the same, I was dropped off at the golf club’s evening haunted house games – and shocked that not only was no one dressed like me, but that I was avoided because I wasn’t “twinning.”

You know, matching all of the other rich kids’ stereotypes of trying to best one another…oh yes, I had certainly outdone them all with my own category!

I guess it was just too much to ask that there, I would have found my Raggedy Andy.

Stream of Thought

Countering That Yammering Voice Inside My Head

Candid Corvid Productions

No, really…it will be fine…

Stop freaking out, we’ll find a way through this…

You are making the right call – so what if you might get fired again? You have that other interview coming up…

I know you hate this – I know you need and want security…

When has our life ever matched “normal?” You have got to let go of that pipe dream..

Face the reality, girl – you don’t fit into any of these boxes, and people are indulging in hypocrasy…

You know you couldn’t live with yourself if you got someone else sick…

Just trust the process…somehow, we are being guided…

Focus on resting up – I know your employer is texting, trying to get you to back out of your position!

How can people not be taking hygeine and prevention seriously after all we have been through?!

Ok, good. You told him when he asked if you were coughing alot: “No, it is just in my sweat and breath. I will be in a closed room and having prolonged direct contact skin to skin.”

I can’t believe you have to even say this to him.

Feck. As if you aren’t already under enough pressure in making the call and losing a week’s income…

Compositions

A Ray Of Light

Candid Corvid Productions

On her worst days, she despaired that she would never speak with him again as the days stretched into months, then into years.

Sometimes, she tried to forget about him – about the bond they shared beyond this plane’s existence. At other times, she became rebellious at her having to keep waiting – and pushed him abruptly away from their link in her mind.

She didn’t understand why he got upset when she did this, because it seemed like he had everything in his favor and that she was just being strung along on the sidelines.

What was the point of having a bond if you didn’t get to embrace it in the present? She continued to grapple with her limited understanding.

Compositions

The Rock And The Spear

Candid Corvid Productions

Depression hit like a heavy stone tied around the hip, sinking emotions down into deeper waters where there was no light but the dimmest glimmer, and no hope for air – except what was brought with her.

Reaching at last an underwater cavern, she bedraggedly struggled onto the surface of a ledge outcropping, gasping and wheezing to clear her lungs while clawing desperately at the spear tip thrust into and broken off just above her heart’s center.

Compositions

Photos “Spirit 1-6” – An Origin Story

Candid Corvid Productions

“God created Man in “His Image,” but “He” could not infuse understanding where Man was unwilling.

Woman was more receptive. She desired to learn and become one with Creation, so God blessed her with the ability to bear children.

Man in his base jealousy prized power and raved at God for favoring “weakness” – threatening to overthrow Dominion and becoming abusive to his environment.

The Wise Teacher of The Garden warned the Woman about Earth’s future possible destruction by Man’s hand and gifted her with abilities of Foresight to help counter what could be coming.

When Man learned of Woman’s further Understanding, he sought to bind and enslave her – so the The Golden Serpent helped her and her child escape from The Garden.

Since then, Man has waged war against Peace and Prosperity, still unwilling to listen to Wisdom.”

Athena Stairs
October 11, 2022

Photography

“Spirit 5 – Radiant Joy”

Candid Corvid Productions
Athena Stairs, October 10, 2022

“Planes Of Flame,” “Flaming Planes,” Or -? I began laughing hysterically just now on October 11th while trying to name this brilliance – it just seemed so funny…the obsurdity of not knowing what to call it (and clearly trying too hard) when I felt the answer was right there before me. My laughter wouldn’t stop due to my brain grasping for and pushing word concepts so far beyond boundaries (it adds if one is supine) – until tears flowing down my cheeks turned into a wave of heartbroken sobs – and then back into surprised laughing at myself. I guess this is what they call “having fun with yourself” when enduring severe life pressures!

Stream of Thought

Faith

Candid Corvid Productions

You know, it’s funny – because when I invest and invest and invest in faith, there seems to be a delayed response to my efforts as long as I have “the ball” managed.

Now, when I want to bail on everything I built in my schedule that makes sense in exchange for some illusory security, the inner voice inside begs me not to.

So then, how do I get what I have created to give the yields it needs to? Because I sure do not feel like anyone is helping me who is part of the equation!

Maybe that’s just the exhaustion fighting against being sick talking…

Stream of Thought

Hair

Candid Corvid Productions

In an attempt to “change things up,” I have been trying a new shampoo and conditioner for my hair, which has resulted in making it feel thicker – but meanwhile, has dried it to where it feels crisp and spindly.

The product duo before  have been lovely, making my hair soft, light, and shine-fluffy – but have been a little too clarifying, stripping some of the natural color.

I am not a vain person – in fact, I think having a little bit of vanity could possibly balance out my extreme humility.

But, I do like to have my hair accurately represent me.

(It’s so strange how the product I like reduces volume back to 1/5th of the crisping product!)

Stream of Thought

Permanence

Candid Corvid Productions

It has become unfathomable to me to believe that anything I desire to keep as mine to hold tightly within my arms for longer than brevity is possible.

Like investing in an on-campus Master’s Degree? Pshaaaw…don’t even try to achieve.

The only thing that clings is the past’s baggage – which I need to finish hacking some of these tendrils off from me.

In dragon metaphor, I have determined that I am the type to fly – and though I like to nest at times, the world awaits to be explored.

Stream of Thought

The Standoff

Candid Corvid Productions

Stacks of boxes hogging space in our one shared room promise ID documents to release a small tax refund. The problem is, the contents are from those over 10 years ago when the life I had built burned to ground.

Who wants to revisit trauma from the past to gain more freedom for their future? Seems like a trap promissing snarl-retriggering – and yet, this is one of the very few options to help improve our situation.