Keeping panic at bay so that she could keep assessing for alternative currents to follow was becoming more difficult to navigate.
—
(Ocean terms…)
Keeping panic at bay so that she could keep assessing for alternative currents to follow was becoming more difficult to navigate.
—
(Ocean terms…)
She was pretty certain that she couldn’t even swim, anymore.
She had always had abilities to salvage it before, and had hoped that she could at least reach solid ground before it capsized.
It seemed that she had no other recourse, and it churned her stomach into knots.
She had begun to think of how to get the others launched on a “life boat,” for they would be able to go farther without her.
“Tell me that you need me, want me, love me…”
She reflected on how it was kind of funny that she was practically baring her teeth as her hackles raised and she repositioned herself whenever a male who wasn’t him would get to close to her.
Song repost February 2023
Something definite that she no longer had.
—
(Multiple meanings)
“Listening to the Beatles’ original, ‘The Fool On The Hill,’ the song on the radio station suddenly goes dead air – and then this version with Smooth Jazz Sax comes on…
I don’t think that the song was supposed to be so sexxy.!”
Because she could not “see” where the needed undergarment had gone to.
“It’s important for you to know that I am not just innocence, sweet as pie…I’m also a street-weathered Hellion.”
“I think my thrift store saving stability and safety grace find was a pair of the most comfortable ever Bean (TM) Boots!”
(“Legendary” through L.L.Bean)
Along the river where willows part
Lying on a blanket blessed by stars
He wrapped his body around hers
Sinking to depths embracing love
Her eyes spilling over tears of relief
Mirrored his request to never leave
A promise both gave in bonding
Their souls through mortal coils
—
(You & Me, My Love, as I passed from dreams into today’s reality)
In trying to redefine needs
It’s hard to recognize ego
Oh, that’s right!
She’d had a most wondrous dream where these birds like a cross between parakeets and cockatiels had come to her from the wild blue, and played in and out of a portable cage that she provided for them mid-traveling between destinations in her and their journeying.
One especially liked to be touched and held and its feathers fluffed and kissed – it loved lots and lots of soft, cooing, fluffy kissss that she would give to it from her heart flame’s rekindled warmth and fascinated adoration.
And as she alliwed herself to delight in their not too loud warbles, she could feel the shame and regret of sticky failures that had not been her own, but were cast upon her by the dispersions of other humans and society still clinging to her from when she had lived and tried but been weighed down by dependencies in the past – now next levels expanding currently.
And she worried that she had no consistencty in routines nor stability nor funding to help care for their happiness.
All she knew was that a small flock of the most magical creatures had found her, and they were singing and fluttering all around her, landing on her shoulders, taking turns letting her touch, kiss, sing to, and cuddle them – with the male leader playing the most with her and seeming determined to claim her as his home.
She couldn’t tell if it was from circumstances, or physical injury.
They said that she did not have a sustainability plan, despite the proofs of her past and current efforts that she gave to them.
They were vague and used words of censureship that she had not earned, nor deserved in judgement against her.
Was one of her favorite things about him.
She knew that his heart had always had this, even if at times he’d wished that it hadn’t.
It did not seem possible that there’d be a hero to come help and save her.
Someone who’d value, want, and cherish her.
For so long, she’d been the one others needed to rely upon.
“I don’t want you to ever leave me, again.”
She had made herself available, but now she’d just…
Keep stitching torn sails, work to repair rigging, and pray for reinforcements.
She’d been able to get help with restarting the fireplace today since its prior use last winter.
It gave her great pride to see her family gathered around it, happily soaking up its warmth while they still had housing.
By Athena Stairs, December 25, 2025
I’ve looked for my marbles
Not sure where they’ve gone
While drowsy from sleep
Thought I’d write this cute song
There are ghosts in the hall
But I keep them from talkin’
At times flick a light
To interrupt their stalkin’
When takin’ a shower
I’m careful with balance
No bars on the wall
Means slippin’s a menace
And when try to cook
I’m chasin’ ingredients
If you like your food charred
My skills are ingenius
My garden is wet
So rarely smell flowers
The hound can still fetch
But I throw with weak power
My homework has died
From a smack to my thinkin’
The synapses fire
But gaps signal blinkin’
Want to make my own music
But readin’s gone faulty
My eyes seekin’ guidance
Fight overload mentality
My logic’s alright
But I’ve fallen in love
Still lonely at night
When could fit like a glove
But I’ll be alright
It’s been years on my own
Try to live a moral life
So no need to atone
I fight back determined
Where demons encroach
Still seems human plight that
Our souls are bare-boned
—-
(Contact me for permissions)
She wasn’t going to fight with a ghost.
“Being messed with and given empty promises.”
Her inner horse began bucking and kicking in all directions around her as perceptions of impending failures and too long unfed starvation for love’s reality began collapsing in on her emotional psychology.
“One day at a time!
One day at a time!
For F’s sake – ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!“
The concussion scenario being a dead end recipe for complete disempowerment, she just kept trying to do whatever she could try to do, despite it – peppered with moments of stopping for breaks to try to rest.
Song repost from July 2025
“A War Of Attrition…”
(Sleep Token reference)
“One could think that being told one must rest for recovery would be liberating.
But it isn’t – no, not one bit – not one bit at all when one’s boat is sinking.”
People driving stupid despite black ice season, then honking as if they have rights to push other people to speed up and join them.
Pulling over to reset because don’t want to take that b.s. energy home.