It takes 25 years to
Raise children well
Maybe even more if
Protecting from Hell
When alone as
A single parent
Category: A Woman’s Plight
I Wonder
“Perhaps I am entering some kind of acceleration effects on certain – and maybe many – levels.
For so long, I was just swollen and puffy no matter how I worked to reconnect and regain tonal tension.
But playing out the idea that one day it can all click, this might be shifting.”
It’s Weird
“I must be beginning to heal because the pain is getting worse, even though I paused doing therapies.
What I mean is, my tissues are tightening in junction crossover areas, revealing more and more the experiential damage of injuries.”
I Know
“I know the way that it goes…”
The Crone In Me
She’d been fighting off the crone since the moment she’d been abandoned in her fourties.
It had jeered at her in stark contrast to her youth’s vitality, attempting to hard-interfere with her plans to remarry.
Then all of that fell apart and the accident pushed her hard onto another track – which she’d been striving toward, anyway.
But as she applied makeup to her war-torn fascial contours and saw how the ravages of pain’s suffering tried to mold and reshape her to their designations, a peace began calming.
Maybe that bitch had had her reasons.
Maybe she’d been trying to ensure she’d meet the right man, in the right season.
The Dance Floor
“Don’t go for him,” he tried to stop her. “Go for me – like you wanted to, before.”
“But you’ve seen my art,” she gently confided. “He brings out the parts of me I couldn’t clearly see, before.”
Hi
(Hurting · SG Lewis ft. Aluna George)
But, Then Again
She did have that same phone meeting, tomorrow…
What She Wanted
A very good man to lead and help support her positively, for she would give him what he needed, in return.
To Her Man
“You could have my late to earlies, for a start.”
Almost There
If he had cast his net a little wider, he would have found her.
Wednesday
She couldn’t try until that eve because she had to meet with others.
Phantom Memories
She’d been living in between realms dreaming of love for so long that she needed confirmation that she and he could have it together in reality.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
Unfamiliar Territory
She wasn’t used to having a partner who truly cared about her and wanted to invest in her happiness and well being.
(Numb – Goodboys, Extended)
By Rights
They were just two people who loved and wanted each other.
The Offering
From that angle, the light shined upon his face revealing the pure innocence still residing within him, displayed for her acceptance in vulnerable openness.
It shocked her to her core, for never had she seen such bright beauty – for she could see the light of his soul emanating from back through time to how he’d always been, from the beginning.
So young – so young! her heart leapt out to protect him.
How could she want one so young? She drew back in shame at her assumptions.
But she knew that she must have seen the limits of time as they frissioned.
Fidgeting nervously for an hour while on the important call and casting tenuous glances around her, she saw him at last cross behind her quickly the opposite way, striding purposefully to a car and clutching a rolled up and well-creased paper bag that indicated his nervousness.
As she turned to better look at his retreating, strong and mature back, all she could think of was there went the man that she loved most fervently.
And she felt powerless to stop him.
Well-Matched
For they were both so ameanable that no stone need be left unturned, and all could be understood – and forgiven.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
Haven’s Trust
They had much to unpack, together.
“Aria” (song)
A form of bliss
To Be Funny
She asked him to walk a few paces away and then come back again, whereupon she cheekily sighed and stated, “You’ll do.”
And then, he grabbed her with a warning, possessive growl to their mutual laughter.
Hidden Desires
But she wanted was to hold him in her arms and give him everything.
Which Way Is Up?
Her experience had led her to be afraid that if she gave all of her love to a man, he would leave her – instead of desire and cherish her.
She Should Have
Shouted after him, calling out loudly:
“HEY! Where are you going?!”
Anything, anything but remaining frozen solid stiff from shock and emotion.
(Stir Me Up – Lane 8)
It Plagued Her
Why had he not spoken to her?
Wrath
“And no amount of love will keep it around
If we don’t choose it
And I don’t know what’s got its teeth in me
But I’m about to bite back in anger
No amount of self-sought fury
Will bring back the glory of innocence”
—-
(Sleep Token lyrics from “Take Me Back To Eden”)
(Take Me Back To Eden – Sleep Token)
Numbers Lie
“Although I still enjoy noting their patterns, the messages since AI has leaked into everything all have the same flavor and just reinforce sense of ‘duty’s’ isolation.
Fu** That.”
Avoidance
“No, I’m not going to chase him.
And no, I’m not going to listen to those other artists and compare myself to them.
I cannot keep being crushed into a speck of my very existence.”
You Know, I’d Think
“That writing would calm and relax my mind and spirit.
But I don’t feel recovered or restored.
I’m just riding some jagged edge that tears and will not let go.”
(Lose Control – Teddy Sims)
Sunshine’s Disposition
Even the brightest spark will dim in cold weather.
OverCast
She didn’t need to worry so much about how she was looking
The odds seemed pretty high that he wouldn’t come calling.
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
A Gesture
Is that all that it would become, now that the world adored him?
The Competition
“You’re actually considering being with her?
But she’s not already established like the rest of us – and further more…”
She Could
See him actually in her life – and oh, how wondrous they could be together!
Static
She turned the knob to find the music, but there was nothing there.
Was It Right
For her to want and need him
When he deserved the world?
(Tears on cheeks)
More Dreams
“And the last still ended up with my shirt spontaneously off.”
(What the -?!)
Partitions
She was afraid to be trapped again by another’s lack of comprehension and participation.
Even worse, though, was her past patterning of becoming blind to it to retain any comfort in closeness – unable to vocalize her needs as instincts clutched onto ‘safety’ – and the fear of loss if she shared that inside her needs were screaming.
The Younger Man
She waan’t looking for an age, she was looking for the right fit.
And she had lost that time to live, caring for others in their complexities.
But if she found someone at that life stage, would they both be relegated to standard life-patterned growth rings?
What she’d been learning back then was how the push the ceiling off from everything.
But the people around her had just continued trodding scenarios unfolding slowly, as if sleepwalking.
No Safe Havens
A few gentle, quiet and tenuous but sharply clear-so-she’d-hear piano notes came from some chamber in her mind to her left, spanning across time and space.
But the plane shifted, cutting off the connection, and she couldn’t reach out to touch his crisped white collar.
A warm, dim-lit parlor opened where an umber-smoked piano beckoned soothingly and an older, stubble-faced confident was ready to lend an ear.
But she only played very litle and in private, and this person was not real in life to her.
Another room – a bar this time – filled to brimming with beautiful younger women, viscious in their competetive trimmings, ready to jeer and leer at her for trying.
Then that feeling over-riding everything as she turned another corner in the portal maze lacking any grounding.
“No, no more bathroom dreams please – where clothes go suddenly missing, and I’m scrambling.”
Genetics & Accidents
“It turns out that I have hip dysplasia.
My hound has it, too.
Only her left hip will twist out of its socket – even in her youth.
I have to rub her associated muscle spasms to get them to release her hip so that it again properly repositions when I see her limp.
Oh wait…
Both of mine now behave like this, too.”
I Shall Attempt
“To make a broiled steak and baked zucchini boats!”
(I Hear The Waves – Vibfy & Lanna, Lost Underground)
PlayTime
She loved his “bits.”
—
(Content of multiple meanings)
All Along
One day he turned to look – and found that she’d been waiting for him, tethered…
