Category: Altered States

Altered States

Drug Abuse

Candid Corvid Productions

She had wanted to crash under my wing
Seeing how I fought for my own family

But she was hard into drugs and alcohol
Already with a DUI knocking on my door

We were sandwiched between addicts
And she held power over our housing

I needed to keep her out of our haven
Because she was in destructive chaos

I chose to assert my boundaries but
Helped her with parole and probation

Encouraged her through rehabilitation
But she wanted me involved in legality

I refused because of the implied liability
Her neglectful family could turn on me

So she turned to her controlling friends
Taking harder drugs so that she’d fit in

I’d a sense she was heading directions
I could not control despite hard trying

I wasn’t surprised when she turned on me
Just confirmed I’d been right in my clarity

Because I needed my sight to navigate
The quagmire she’d created as we fled

—

(Title of multiple meanings)

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Off The Table

Candid Corvid Productions

“The PA told me that basic concussions easily take  4-6 weeks for recovery, but can take much longer if more severe – especially if compounding prior brain injury.

Looks like I am in the latter category, as school and extra pursuits are no longer an option at present.”

Altered States

My Rings

Candid Corvid Productions

“Many of them are not fitting, anymore.

I don’t know if this is because my fingers are getting more densely strong from my efforts to keep repairing, or if due to systemic swelling.

When I try to put them on, they meet thick resistance – not the typical fluid retention flex.

Perhaps this also indicates my continued shifting, as if into a new form.”

Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

Making A Simple Chart

Candid Corvid Productions

“I am on my 4th rough draft now because it’s all about placement of identification symbols – which identifying symbols (letters, shapes, icons, and associations) has been the main issue of my prior brain injury – now combined with blocked interpretive cognition from the concussion, as well as slight tremoring when trying to access fine to large motor skills.

I can literally feel my brain quivering from the normally minor strain of just trying to draw line measures straight, and then penning the symbols in proper spaces tries to for some reason bounce me around in tiny spacing.

Not sure how much I should be pushing to achieve progress, but how else can I regain anything?!”

Altered States, The Shower Accident 11/14/25

The Struggle

Candid Corvid Productions

“Regarding school by itself, I am trying to catch up with 70% completed by the 10th to gain an ‘Incomplete’ on both classes, which would allow me to gain an extension.

But my cognitive decoding of instructions, tasks, and then applications has slowed down to a third of what I had with prior brain injury.

I do not know if I can accomplush any of this seemingly simple sequential step-taking.

Just working on one assignment – granted, at 2:30am now in the morning – is straining my concussion.

But during the day, I am dealing with navigating phone calls, appointments, and searching for more survival resources.

And, I need help to decode and identify what my software applications class is asking functionally – which has been delayed all quarter even before the shower accident.

Yes, this is why I come here…

To have some belief that I am still capable.”

Altered States, Reclamation, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Struts

Candid Corvid Productions

“After attempting more cleaning yesterday and then resting, getting up in the middle of the night finds me feeling a “V” shape of vector pain tip upward into arches of my feet into bottom of inner ankle – especially left where I put more weight.

This is from flexing while vacuuming and mopping slowly and carefully in a hunch-slump to protect my neck and distribute force across shoulder, hip, and back joints without over-engaging arms and legs.

So, basically, I pivot-rocked much over my feet, which were originally blasted in the car accident from pressing hard against brake and foot rest when the other car’s firce went through my body and legs from back to front of me out my feet, etc.

My feet have been “rolling” and phillage bone tendons turning on and off randomly when walking since then – which when combined with leg and above muscles and joints doing the same thing, makes walking a wholey different glide-managing-not-to-stumble mix-matched conundrum ride.

But this “V” sharp pain with numb throbbing distribution, though painful and weird-feeling, is new – suggesting that my arch curve tensility is at last beginning to redefine itself!”