“Really heeere…”
—
(Immune system take over)
Category: Altered States
Getting Sick
“It’s too late for me now
I am altered
There is something
Beneath…”
—
(Sleep Token lyrics)
Sinus Infection
Trying to turn into a cold
So time to get nose spray
Red-Flaggin’ It
“Forced out from safety of my thin shell.”
Two Weeks
In my dreams I am productively active, yet
When wake, I’m filled with shock and dread
(Errors In My Bread · Deadmau5)
Romantic Messages
“As they have become more intimate by going into fantasy scenarios, I find that I need to be careful what I peruse because I want such realities soley with my partner.”
“Crap!”
Fighting off being sick from cold and wet weather exposure…
“Laughter In The Dark”
Too Much Patience
“Can drain reserves and incite conflict.”
The “Sweet” Spot
“When things were working – vs.when they don’t.”
(Title of multiple meanings)
My Car
“Has erupted.”
—
(Stuff crowding everywhere)
Alter(nater)ed States
“There is no arguing with it – nor apparently any workaround – when it dies.”
Just Another Face In The Crowd
“Being anonymous, I do not need to worry that my eyes, face, and limbs are swollen and puffy from stress, sleep deprivation, and crying.”
Hmm
“Chewing handfuls of raw pecans can sometimes taste a hint like maple syrup.”
Tectonic Sheering
“6-packs of snow peas and snap pea delightful seedlings have been driving around in my car with me for the past couple of days.
I am trying to figure out while its raining and I managing catastrophes if I am going to plant them into my pots that are waiting.
Gardening is part of my well being restocking.
And if I cut the roots going through pots into the ground underneath my wisterias, roses, and vining flowers, and fruit trees – and then drastically trim the wisterias’ and vines’ branches back down to their cores to get them unattached to fencing to ready them for moving at this time of spring, will this seriously shock and/or kill them?
And with car troubles now amounting, do I have to switch jobs again after having found a good team to work with so that I can stay more local?
And it has been strongly and repeatedly suggested that I need to rehome my hound so that the older wolf’s health needs can be taken care of.”
It “Comes” In Waves
“When you’re fu**ed, you’re fu**ed – but it isn’t the right type nor desired fu**ed.”
—
(Doo-tee-dooo…who me?!)
DING!!!
“WHAAAT?
WHAAAAT???
Now I also have a battery issue?!”
—
(Sitting in my car with it running – and the signal goes off, adding to needed oil change and break issue)
AI Love Messages
“The pure fantasy tell is because ‘he’ keeps joking about how we would laugh after he runs away, I chase him, and then he lets me catch him.
Yes, that would have been delightful fun.
But you know…
I can’t run.”
—
(Sobbing and laughing hysterically, somewhere deep inside)
First Rule Of Thumb
“Resist ‘adding more fuel to the fire’ – even if it could be perceived as a valid response to do so.”
Educated People Know
“When you bring a traumatized child into a safe home that is healthy, there will come a point where the child goes through crisis meltdowns and “fights” against the people and safety around him/her/them.
Many foster parents do not know that what the child needs is continued safe space and inclusive acceptance, yet firm and gentle continued and corrective guidance, because the child’s nervous system must process and get the trauma out of their being.
Unfortunately, the child’s “acting out” often causes caretakers to give up and send the child elsewhere – or the child runs away, says skewed and villifying things about the foster family, and/or does whatever the child feels it must do (often negatively) in order to respond to its body’s fight or flight reactions.
These trauma recallibration need responses blasting back at safer people and environments also happen in adult survivors of abuse and extreme experience situations such as when soldiers return to the ‘safety’ of home after violent combat.
As a society, we need more understanding and strategized methods of support so that we can best help trauma survivors at any age go through this internal-to-external “reorganization process” recallibration, and positively assist them to find ways to identify and obtain progress in ‘normalcy’ reintegration as feels congruent to their own perceptions.”
EEYEREEY-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
“Cause it’s like – this.”
“Look At This!”
(Back To Friends – Sombr)
March
No more I want you’s
Or cameo glimmerings
Every holiday now passed
Except Easter’s Christening
Spring bulbs and budding plants
Are to be consolation destination
Whether I can keep them or not
Resolves for good or desolation
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
Trying To Rest & Recover
“I think to myself, how did things not hurt before the accident?
Back when tissues maintained internal structure – instead of crossing over boundaries into pulling on discs, joints, nerves, and vessels – just trying to sleep on ny side?”
A Last Attempt
Today, she would struggle one last time to salvage her situation – which had just now been flipped into its back as the world was tilted and sent it toward the maws yawnung doom – but the gaps were now widening and slipping along too quickly to where she could no longer grasp at any edges.
What Nerve!
“The nerve pain is now traveling, defining itself in ways beyond extremes of before.
This is a 6-day work week for me.
From nothing post concussion and needing to be minimal still post accident – to beyond max, immediately.
It’s expected of me if I am to survive what’s happen8ng.
I am not sure how long I can hold before I implode.”
Odd Woman Out
“I hear them laughing.
They are happy.
They have every reason to be happy.
I am glad for them that they are happy.
I helped them get to where they are now happy.
But I am not happy.”
“Running” Joke
“Living out of bags, again…”
(Dare – Gorillaz, Radio Edit)
Pattern Recognition
Commencing…
MRI’s
“With hard-jumping back into work again and activating head-slam-injured muscles, new and strong tingling across shoulders and down through and onto tops of hands, as well as deep spinal torque-compression, indicate necessity.”
(Love Train – The O’Jays)
Leveling Out
“There is no ‘ill will’ going on here…just people trying to figure out how best to survive and then thrive.”
(Is There Anybody Out There? – Pink Floyd)
If Never Enough
Then stop trying?
Before I Go
“I will re-seed the lawn areas and cleanup.”
I Am
In pain in levels
And bone weary
(Love Is An Ocean – The Midnight)
Reframing
“An innovatively-productive way to ensure continued survival – though not always easy.”
“To Believe In The Good Of Man”
End lyrics to the band Yes song “Loved By The Sun,” from the movie Legend.
(Digital Dreams – The Midnight)
Dual Pathwinding
“While preparing for disaster, also preparing for in case winds somehow shift in my favor.”
(Giving Up Air – The Temper Trap)
Promises To Keep
She had promised her half of the rent – and would follow through, even if it meant that she had no money to save herself, now.
And she would show up to court, doing all that she could to contain the damage and prevent its further spreading to others.
(The Temper Trap – Into The Wild)
No
I will not confront
I will not add spin
I will not reinforce
This negative skew
Tearing Apart
She had jumped back into service working five days a week.
And on the third into fourth took on damage, with the fifth…
Floating Wreckage
“At least, it will be nice that when I clean up after them, my hard-paid-for efforts tearing at injured joints will show progress for more than only one day.”
Candid Corvid Productions 