“I try to do more than just endure.
But these days…”
Category: Altered States
I’m NOT Ma-Nic!
“I’m pro-duc-tiv-ly Ec-STA-tic!”
Bob’s
“On the job!”
—
(Reference to show, “Bob The Builder”)
Yeah – I AM
“You gotta be Craaa-Zzyy to sur-vive!”
Then, Upon Return Phone Call
“We Are Stay-Ing!”
Movie Aliens Quote
“We Are Lea-Ving!”
Frazzled
“A good descriptor.”
(The Wretched – Nine Inch Nails)
Yes, I’m Gripey
“Because I am in a lot of pain right now.
Lifting dogs will do that to injuries.”
Shout Out
“To my dissolving past living situation…”
(Nothing Left To Lose – Matt Kearney)
Oops! Of Course,
“I spoke too soon…
Lol.
Maybe it’s that I’m also building some next stage tolerance endurance.
The damage has been so extensive on micro levels that reconnection has taken awhile!”
I Must Be Healing
“2 1/2 years later, it isn’t hurting as badly immediately when I sit in a chair.”
“Running Out Of Time”
“But there’s tomorrow…”
Sleepy Scritches
“My scsla g<g…
” My scalp.is healing”
—
(Dozing while writing)
Silence
“Isn’t really silent…”
These Days
“I do not always fill the silence now with music.
Sometimes, I just let the silence…”
(In My Room – The Beach Boys, 2021 Stereo Mix)
Maybe There Is No Ready…
“You just do it.”
—
(Moving stuff out)
Gads
“Sinus pressure from them drying up.”
Guiding Light
What is it about dawn’s arrival
That makes night terrors release
Even if they were not able to feed?
Morning Bells
Around 6am traffic picks up
The heavy air begins to shift
Night phantasms dissipate
Releasing grips from cares
Adaptive Adjustments
“That’s the thing: I do need head space…
And it is strange how forms of this change, compress, or expand as situations either allow or limit.
I do not think I have real boundaries or limits if I am always shifting and flexing.”
The House
“No longer brims.”
The 80’s
“Baby!”
(Master And Servant – Depeche Mode)
“Stay On Target…!”
“Look out from behind!”
—
(Original Star Wars movie reference)
My Body Says,
“No more dressing for performance, today.
Time for house-hunting deep casual.”
Un- Well,
“I guess this is the messiest my bedroom and bathroom have been…”
—
(Title play multiple meanings)
(Resenären – Kasbo)
Signs In Omens
“When I investigated the nice 2-bedroom unit, I found an expired lady bug in a bedroom window sill.
Normally, lady bugs mean good things to me.
So at first, seeing it was a potentially welcoming sign – yet I felt uneasy that it was dead.
I brought my youngest to see the unit later on in the day and discussed this as we found a second dead lady bug.
But then, my youngest found a third one trapped inside and still alive.
We set it free.”
(When You Close Your Eyes – Night Ranger)
Compound PTSD
“I found a lovely 2-bedroom apartment yesterday, with the most amazing willow tree and grandparent pine behind the building.
The sun filters into the front in the morning, and comes through the rear windows for some streaking sky colors in the evening.
The wind comes in fresh from the mountains, and I did not hear even a peep from the neighbors when I went by – except for an end unit’s dog barking validly at my passing.
But when I returned at night to view it from a distance, something strange then caught me by surprise.
Someone acting weird in parking their nearby car, observing.
Too much exposure there for uninvited prying eyes.”
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
OMG
“I need more sleeeep.
And I’m dizzy as fu**…”
Angry Tea
“I do not know how this happened, but when I went to pick up the phone charger from the floor, I found its lengths and the electric cord conjoin-locked in a death roll struggle by a past and now dried tea bag with its string tightly throttle-coiling.”
—
(I mean, how does that happen?!)
Stand-In Room Only
“Yesterday, I went to the store to get two packages of my favorite blueberry muffins – procurred from the specific section where they always used to be.
And found upon returning hom – to my dismay – that the interlopers were not gluten-free!”
My Phone
“Is about to shut off, again…”
Tromping Feet
They roll over thunder
Slapping wood floors
Linoleum assertions
Of family atmosphere
Maybe The Maw Consumes
“Because it likes my art when I lament.”
These Mortal Coils
Writhing spoils and toils
Never ending attempting
To destroy our innocence
As denying our due’s bliss
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out
I’m Not Freaking Out…
—
(Regarding having to move and not yet finding a suitable haven)
How Am I Going To Do This?
“How can I sort through and clean up their messes, sort through my own stuff, pack, and get moved – let alone look for and find a place while sick, injured, and trying to keep working?”
Food Flux
“Maybe I couldn’t consistently prepate meals because my life never got safe into settled.
I say this as I find myself not having cooked for weeks because others have ‘bombed’ the kitchen, and I’m living off of take-out food, again.”
Stout Words
“When one is sick with a cold.”
(Telomeres – Sleep Token)
This Is It
“I am suppossd to find the right next home.
It took us four months living out of a motel, working multiple jobs at full health capacity, to find our safe haven last time.
Two weeks this time, on my own, and with exertion limits from multiple injuries. “
(Heavy Metal – Sammy Hagar)
Spinal Impact
Lying back upon a stainless steel cylinder originally intended for use as a tall but lean coffee mug, I pressed its immovable form into grooves of my lower spine and ribs at different angles and leveraged the tension created in attempts to better understand the patterns of torsion twistimg created from the car accident’s impact.
At ‘ground zero’ where the car’s force first connected, if trigger point zones are pressed in certain ways my anterior hip attachments – and even the muscles along the insides of my arms – can be relaxed, moved into, and extend for a moment.
It’s like my whole body has been stuck in a retraction reaction pattern drawn inward to the core from longterm spiral compression.
“Well,” Then
“I guess I better take the night to rest.”
I Was Typing
“Bronchial syrup, but instead typed ‘fluid…’
Makes a big difference when trying to purchase!”
Candid Corvid Productions 