A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Quadly Quads

“It doesn’t help that my quads in addition to taking force straight through them of a speeding heavy car, they also froze and still adhere to thigh bones and tissues around them.

It is taking so very long in trying to get them to reactivate and differentiate again – which lacking this pulls even more on hip joint attachments.”

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, Nature, Society

Making Peace Within

Responding to a beloved family member:

“Thank you for responding with your points of view.

I apologize – but I had to stop reading because it felt like the validity of my real, hard-earned, and deeply considered experiences was being blasted apart by religious assertions irregardless of my truth.

I am too fragile at present to retain strength of neutrality after sharimg something so preciously personal to me which I have fought my entire like to reclaim and own as mine.

There have always been many religions and beliefs that promoted, supported, and nourished love and promoted health of our natural environment.

I believe – and it makes sense – that ‘God’ has spoken to each ‘tribe’ of humanity through time in ‘words’ and concepts that share common truths.

Therefore, it is by right and my own ‘God bestowed’ ‘free will’ that I choose to retain independant discernment and listen for ‘God’s’ truths in the wind, in my instincts, through other people’s goodness, designs in the natural world, rhythms of the galaxies, etc.

Even Islamic beliefs, in original dictates, reinforced that every person’s relationship with ‘God’ was between that human and ‘God’ as sacred and inviolate – and admonished other ‘believers’ to stay out of others’ privacy of their homes and ‘knock it off’ with persecutionary criticisms and actions.

The original reasons for ‘Jihad’ were because entire tribes saved by Islam were tearing each other apart – and then about to be slaughtered by multiple invading forces that were surrounding them.

It was primaruly for self defense and to retain homelands and establish a reugn of just peace in that region.

Islam was given in order to save a mass race of people from sudden extinction, and is from the same ‘God’ of Abraham and Jesus – in fact, it openly recognizes these prior prophets.

After Islam’s prophet died, next ruling factions took the original teachings – as has happened with any prophet or great teacher throughout human history’s original lessons – and took what they wanted, changed what they chose to change, and threw away truths that they did not want further seen, understood, nor propagated.

Our remaining, ‘societally-accepted’ doctrines left for society today have been cultivated throughout centuries by political powers that be – irregardless of ‘God’s’ original, sacred intentions.

And, technically, when Jews, Christians, and Muslims are fighting, harming, and murdering each other, they are a family fighting at the same dinnner table and blaspheming in ‘God’s’ name.

Extremist zealotry, in itself, can also be seen as work of the ‘deceiver’ using scriptures and people as pawns to destroy Eden’s foundations of mutuality in co-existence and shared caretaking.

Many religions today cut that part out and say since we were cast from Eden, we have been given the right to carve up the land and each other – with no personal sdlf accountability.

B.S. – and No Thank You.

Please do not expect that I shall ever convert to nor support any ideologies rife with distortion that try to and/or continue to propagate hypocrasy and atrocities – especially when done in ‘God’s name.’

If I misunderstood your reply’s intent due to my current sensitivities, I hope that in the future we may have opportunity to share concepts and the wonderous joy about ‘God’s love,’ and recognize the sancity of  ‘God’s wisdom’ in encouraging diverse human and nature’s forms expressing ‘His’ love in our world – and even beyond our world’s boundaries.

I love you so much and appreciate your points of view.

I know that you, also, have certainly worked hard to ascertain them.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Controlling The Fall

There’s really no “control”
When one is falling fast

Maybe just some guiding
Yet this can help life last

If hard flail plummeting
Likely get broken pieces

If dropping in composure
One accepts “inevitability”

But one can also glide
Diving direction angles

Aiming for a trajectory
Offering better survival

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Adjustments

“Working out today in mid-gravity-assisted decompression-realignment exercises, my left lumbar did a hard teadjustment in a way that it never had before – which painfully ‘knocked the wind out of me’ for a few minutes.

I am hoping that it was needed, and that it will reduce tension on my right hip’s mobility constrainments.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Confirmation

“In today’s neurofeedback session, correctioms were made for more unification and downgrading overactivity pinging – including, apparently, that I had a tension spiral from neck into btain chamber that I could feel at last unwinding.

An adfitional finding, though, is that afterwatds, I can feel the anterior hip flexors twitching/teactivating – which confirms my suspiclscion that although taking impact through joints and muscles definitely contributed, connective regions ‘shorting out’ is also related to brain-spinal chord injuries.”

A Return To Innocence, A Woman's Plight, Altered States, Reclamation, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

In This Room

In this room I hurt
In this room I break

Facing brain injury &
Physical disabilities

In this room I play
Briefly connecting

Fragments of myself
Blown into segments

Following music trails
Along windy highways

In this room I dream
To bridge with a man

Building castles in skies
Where promises fly high

Because love is why
Life is worth living

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, Society, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Slippage

“Going to the shelters asking for human and animal food…first driving through the parks and seeing all of the sprouting tents and makeshift coverings over piled vehicles and bicycle units – and then here at the limited rooms…levels of people older to young just trying to hang on.”

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Closed Room System

Pounding on walls
Closing in

Constricting
Sense of freedom

Limiting belief
In reparations

Finding my way
Becomes limited

From miscalculated
Neurofeedback session

Attempting to help
Brain’s injury

Forcing tied mind
Into corners

Happenstance
Constricts play

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Prospects

“I’ve seen enough of society to know that as far as material wealth and performance expectations, my positioning as viable for marriage on those levels is no longer market competitive.

When I rush, my hands falter and parts of my physical connections try to tear apart going different directions.

I did not deserve to have simplicities of my youth stripped from me.

Yet, I am not the first to fall.”

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Fried Fricassee

With all of the efforts it took to answer an agency call, get ready, deal with animals, leave the house, drive, get a gas card, check on rent progress, and then finally make it to the class building, she was late, her hair was fried, and her confidence was blown – so she escaped into a practice room.

Altered States, Male Bonding

Privacy

“I had wondered why I had stopped doing my hips’ physical therapy routine at the gym because I need those extra dial-ins, and I am too distracted and compressed at home to do them there.

So last week, I pulled them out again, and then found that guy suddenly in the row right behind me from out of nowhere again.

I caught him looking in a definitely not ok way as I turned to finish my routine.

The look was not one of appreciation, but like he was ‘getting off’ on me lewdly while storing info for later self indulging.

Right.

I had suppressed that memory because it was so, in fact, disturbing.

So I immediately left the area, showing my vote directly with my feet.

But later after making sure to keep always well away from him, and when I was relaxing with eyes closed into unwinding on a machine, he was suddenly right there on the machine next to me – but this time, with his eyes downcast and offering.

There was no mistaking what he was doing.

He had decided to press the point from a different angle with me.

So I got denser in my mass, moved firmly grooved in my own zone, and pushed out ‘don’t mess with me’ vibes as I again immediately left the scene.

His behavior wasn’t something that one can prove easily – which is a disgusting predation scheme that men of baseline morality often like to cultivate, and unfortunately his society cultivates as acceptable for male behavior if done on the ‘down low’ surreptitiously.

And while I could be in a way flattered by his stripping down his ego to submit to me after so rudely leering, the idea of accepting made me want to throw up quite literally.

I am not some abstract geisha queen.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Pack Mentality

“The hound and wolf are no longer synced to me, having absorbed into pack mentality.

The other dogs, either being very young or untrained in their communication niceties have more pushy and frequently jarring and obnoxious barking tendencies, so when mine hear me, they whine and demand rudely.

There’s no real hope of my currently curbing mine back to civilized politeness, and so they only respond, if at all, if I yell and demand right back at them – or at the very least, I must be firm in my tone with a ‘don’t mess with me’ edge to it.

I’m not loving the ptsd reaction this keeps reactivating, nor the ever present stress charge blooming on edge of last ditch efforts in self salvaging sparking over into anger.

And I must veer away from thoughts and any desire to walk my two for rebonding and needed extra exercise.

My limbs are just too prone now to tearing if pulled by force into different directions.

But still, if I could find those boot shoes that disappeared, I’d be tempted to try to go carefully with my walking sticks and their harnessing, anyway.

Yet then, they’d build up an even greater demanding in their expectations – and that is not something that I can further manage, especially when I cannot guarantee them nor myself capability of consistency.

So it would be one more pressure that they see in their minds as valid to pile onto me.”