Exhaustion
Category: Altered States
(School’s Out – Alice Cooper)
Maybe,
“Something vital was being pinched.”
Phasing
She could feel her energy glitching from the effort it took to stay in one plane.
I Am Literally
“Quite twitchy.”
Dr’s Note
“There’s this feeling that I can’t place, like being body-slammed or hit in the face – felt since hearing that the only recovery path for my concussion is rest minus brain use activities when survival requires opposite.”
(Black Velvet – Alannah Myles)
Song repost from January 2022.
I Am Tired Of Struggling
“Pick A Subject…”
(We Could Be Love – Hayden James & AR/CO, Rivo & Mark Hoffen Remix)
Sleep
Deprived
—
(Multiple meanings)
(Movin’ Right Along – Muppet Sing Along)
Parallel Tracks
Narrowed fields of vision
Along gaptic crossways
Make it near unfathomable to
Work several projects linearly
Thunk!
“I got a deep hip adjustment when I extended my leg out for a stretch while on my back.
Maybe I’m closer to some better tracking!”
Stress Jolting
Suddenly being woken up from the neighbors pounding nails loud-repeatdly into their roofing’s pummeling richochets against her outer bedroom wall and straight through her body was a disastrously immediate recipe for her body cortisol dumping.
Catching Up With Falling Down
She was hungry
And her neck and head hurt.
Getting up hurt,
Staying up hurt.
Thinking hurt.
Needing love and yearning burt.
Wanting hurt.
Not having hurt.
Lack of any options hurt.
Striving now felt pointless.
Purposeless.
Her father warned depression could come from concussion.
But that wasn’t why she hurt.
She hurt because the accidents hurt her and she couldn’t have what her soul and heart wanted because they hurt her.
She couldn’t reclaim her self determination’s independence or feel free – only disepowerment.
She couldn’t have tbe man she wanted who reawakened her to things long buried.
She couldn’t have the dreams that had kept her vital despite setbacks.
She was being rendered obsolete to society not just from arbitrary age bias, but because she couldn’t perform on the treadmill, any.more.
She was becoming irrelevant even to herself because she could no longer single-handedly provide for her family’s – or even now, her own – survival.
Insomnia
Night after night
I must sing along
(Imagination – Gorgon City & Katy Menditta)
Keep Workin’
“The equations.”
(Pull Up – Hugel & Mydoz)
Dear Followers
“Please, please feel free to unsubscribe.
This is my place for self expression.
None of you need to be on this ride.”
Darn It!
“I’ve hurt myself from today’s workout.
I can barely do anything, now, without reinjury!”
Concussed Fatigue
Another aspect of injury is that
My body tires quickly standing
(Passio – Paxy)
Couldn’tt find English lyrics translation
Where Are You From?
Fu** You!
Impact damage
Downgradation
Makes me want to
Scream in rebellion
Gaps In Synapses
I have three brain injuries now
Original, new, and combined
Did I say this?
Have I said this?
The walls are thicker
Behind closing doors
Help Me Before I Fall
I Was Afriad
After the concussion
My arms became weak
My hands and face had
Increased numb patterns
Body and limb discoordination
Was knocked back into tailspin
Neck instability meant any movement
Upon elliptical pulled on brain injury
So now I do even less at the gym
To allow myself to try to catch up
Lack Of Confidence
I need to get back into
Previous yoga-pilates
But it was not safe to
After the car accident
So it’s hard to believe
Strength will recover
Although time’s passing
Says to do now not later
Depths Of Connection
As my body resettling
Moves to new “normal”
It brings to the surface
Support tissue atrophy
When lying upon a shoulder
Things sink where shouldn’t
Causing destabilizing strains
To bone attachment structure
Accident Prone
Going into third year of recovery’s
Recurring negative enforcements
—
(Title of multiple meanimgs)
I Enjoy Learning
But I no longer enjoy deadlines
Or veering tangents in content
Higher Education
Associate’s shows dedication
Pending Bachelor’s ever limbo
Step By Step
“Like I said before, ‘digging out sideways with a spoon’ – and giving thanks for having a spoon!”
—
(Aggrandized minimalism)
Me, Myself, & I
“We are pretty dissatisfied in this current predicament.”
(Sophisticated Cissy – The Meters)
Great Angst
“Trying to coordinate fingers threading shoe laces through resistantly-tight, flick-flapping shoe straps.
What happened to standardly-practical, solid and easy-to-use holes?”
(I Gotta Right To Sing The Blues – Jack Teagarden)
Frustration
“Essential baseline components of my daily functional clothing that are diffucult to replace have just broken down.”
Will I Rise Again?
When my grandparents finally rested,
They either gave up & chose to die or
Stayed in bed for the rest of their lives
(Crazy Girl – Eli Young Band)
Two & A Half Years
Being unable to work
Dependent on systems
Has very much sucked as
I prefer self determination
(Say That You Will – Sleep Token)
Death Struggles
“I keep trying to reanimate how I survived before – but I can’t…those ways don’t apply, anymore.”
Discontinuity
“Being unable to work flies into the face of the American Dream.”
Dust To Dust
I’ve got nothing to strive for
No more umph in my motor
I always had manifestation
As my high-driving priority
Even if I had to wait
I knew it was there
I could feel it’s pressence
Just like I feel you, my love
It’s very discouraging after all of that
To find myself flat-stopped, diverted
No more climbing
No more aspiring
Because I’m just
So damn hurting
Nothing seems attainable anymore
It’s just slipping through my fingers
Wiped Out
“I must try to sleep more before my day begins….
I am deliriously exhausted.”
(The World I Know – Collective Soul)
To The Last Drop
“Any money that I get is usually limited, so I try to spread it around to hit as many needed zones, which results in there being none left – but much gets attended to.”
Candid Corvid Productions 