Category: Altered States

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Adjustments

Candid Corvid Productions

“Working out today in mid-gravity-assisted decompression-realignment exercises, my left lumbar did a hard teadjustment in a way that it never had before – which painfully ‘knocked the wind out of me’ for a few minutes.

I am hoping that it was needed, and that it will reduce tension on my right hip’s mobility constrainments.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Confirmation

Candid Corvid Productions

“In today’s neurofeedback session, correctioms were made for more unification and downgrading overactivity pinging – including, apparently, that I had a tension spiral from neck into btain chamber that I could feel at last unwinding.

An adfitional finding, though, is that afterwatds, I can feel the anterior hip flexors twitching/teactivating – which confirms my suspiclscion that although taking impact through joints and muscles definitely contributed, connective regions ‘shorting out’ is also related to brain-spinal chord injuries.”

A Return To Innocence, A Woman's Plight, Altered States, Reclamation, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

In This Room

Candid Corvid Productions

In this room I hurt
In this room I break

Facing brain injury &
Physical disabilities

In this room I play
Briefly connecting

Fragments of myself
Blown into segments

Following music trails
Along windy highways

In this room I dream
To bridge with a man

Building castles in skies
Where promises fly high

Because love is why
Life is worth living

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, Society, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Slippage

Candid Corvid Productions

“Going to the shelters asking for human and animal food…first driving through the parks and seeing all of the sprouting tents and makeshift coverings over piled vehicles and bicycle units – and then here at the limited rooms…levels of people older to young just trying to hang on.”

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Closed Room System

Candid Corvid Productions

Pounding on walls
Closing in

Constricting
Sense of freedom

Limiting belief
In reparations

Finding my way
Becomes limited

From miscalculated
Neurofeedback session

Attempting to help
Brain’s injury

Forcing tied mind
Into corners

Happenstance
Constricts play

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Prospects

Candid Corvid Productions

“I’ve seen enough of society to know that as far as material wealth and performance expectations, my positioning as viable for marriage on those levels is no longer market competitive.

When I rush, my hands falter and parts of my physical connections try to tear apart going different directions.

I did not deserve to have simplicities of my youth stripped from me.

Yet, I am not the first to fall.”

A Woman's Plight, Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Fried Fricassee

Candid Corvid Productions

With all of the efforts it took to answer an agency call, get ready, deal with animals, leave the house, drive, get a gas card, check on rent progress, and then finally make it to the class building, she was late, her hair was fried, and her confidence was blown – so she escaped into a practice room.

Altered States, Male Bonding

Privacy

Candid Corvid Productions

“I had wondered why I had stopped doing my hips’ physical therapy routine at the gym because I need those extra dial-ins, and I am too distracted and compressed at home to do them there.

So last week, I pulled them out again, and then found that guy suddenly in the row right behind me from out of nowhere again.

I caught him looking in a definitely not ok way as I turned to finish my routine.

The look was not one of appreciation, but like he was ‘getting off’ on me lewdly while storing info for later self indulging.

Right.

I had suppressed that memory because it was so, in fact, disturbing.

So I immediately left the area, showing my vote directly with my feet.

But later after making sure to keep always well away from him, and when I was relaxing with eyes closed into unwinding on a machine, he was suddenly right there on the machine next to me – but this time, with his eyes downcast and offering.

There was no mistaking what he was doing.

He had decided to press the point from a different angle with me.

So I got denser in my mass, moved firmly grooved in my own zone, and pushed out ‘don’t mess with me’ vibes as I again immediately left the scene.

His behavior wasn’t something that one can prove easily – which is a disgusting predation scheme that men of baseline morality often like to cultivate, and unfortunately his society cultivates as acceptable for male behavior if done on the ‘down low’ surreptitiously.

And while I could be in a way flattered by his stripping down his ego to submit to me after so rudely leering, the idea of accepting made me want to throw up quite literally.

I am not some abstract geisha queen.”

Altered States, The Accident - As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named "Clyde" (Short For Collide) Because It's Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

Pack Mentality

Candid Corvid Productions

“The hound and wolf are no longer synced to me, having absorbed into pack mentality.

The other dogs, either being very young or untrained in their communication niceties have more pushy and frequently jarring and obnoxious barking tendencies, so when mine hear me, they whine and demand rudely.

There’s no real hope of my currently curbing mine back to civilized politeness, and so they only respond, if at all, if I yell and demand right back at them – or at the very least, I must be firm in my tone with a ‘don’t mess with me’ edge to it.

I’m not loving the ptsd reaction this keeps reactivating, nor the ever present stress charge blooming on edge of last ditch efforts in self salvaging sparking over into anger.

And I must veer away from thoughts and any desire to walk my two for rebonding and needed extra exercise.

My limbs are just too prone now to tearing if pulled by force into different directions.

But still, if I could find those boot shoes that disappeared, I’d be tempted to try to go carefully with my walking sticks and their harnessing, anyway.

Yet then, they’d build up an even greater demanding in their expectations – and that is not something that I can further manage, especially when I cannot guarantee them nor myself capability of consistency.

So it would be one more pressure that they see in their minds as valid to pile onto me.”