Category: Altered States
In The Waiting Line
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
I’m here, not there.
,,,
Talisman
She had removed the item, for though it was supposed to protect, it drew from her energy.
Yet once it was taken off, her strength diminished back to a feeling of frailty.
(Take Me Home – Duskus x San Holo)
It Bothers Me
“That I am becoming less flexible, and more specialized…”
(Give It Up – KC & The Sunshine Band, Official Video)
Ah, Yes…
She had not done her usual workout routine yesterday, so now came the migraine torsion.
It Would Help
If she knew.
(Trois – Sultan + Shepart & Jerro)
Provocation
Hide and Seek
(Show Me – San Holo)
Song repost from September 2022.
Sinews
Her frame, planking, beams, and knees creaked and ached like timbers of a ship as she groaned, trying without success to take a small nap.
Violence
Something only meant for self defense – not as a tool for aggressive manipulation.
Source Of DisEase
It was clear that there were still forces conspiring against happiness, and that they were attempting to provoke kind people into violence.
Miscalculations
As she took a drink of water in the gray and spilled some down her shirt.
Time for bed, again, as circulation quivered.
Could fasting and giving blood for labs days ago still be the cause of this imbalance?
Lockdown
No, No, No!
She had worked to get this far today – and now needed to make progress!
Was it her brain?
Her muscles?
Her heart?
What was going on?!
Shaking
She could feel how weak her structural stability was.
Did this mean that systems were coming back online?
Was it yet safe to start adding other exercises to rebuild the muscles?
Was there enough reactivated core matrices for them to build upon?
Winter’s Ease
Wet socks in the cold garden.
Delayed Reactiom
“These accidents have taken away my ability to do anything!”
(In her mind throwing objects at walls, doors, and windows while screamimg hellfire at them to break them down.)
Adrenal Flood
“I can’t live the way my life is, anymore.”
Groggy
“The first deep sleep I’ve had in what seems like forever, but at the end of it, I had to ramp up to fight against a menace.”
Progress
“Even if I can only do one or two things per day to advance my regaining stability, this is still valuable.”
Setbacks
“I haven’t been able to do most of my shoulder and hip restabilizing exercises since the concussion because when I try, doing them increases since then strained cephalic pressure.”
(Clocks – Daydream Affiliate)
Algorithms
“I had to block further receiving of those relationship messages because some were getting dramatically and negatively manipulative.
(Need Somebody – Jerro)
Lack Of Impetus
There were things that she needed to do, but all of them were draining.
Gravity’s Well
She thought that she was getting up…but then, she wasn’t.
Captain’s Creed
She had to stay with the ship to protect the others, for it was never an option to abandon them.
Unsteady Stance
Her sea legs had gone missing.
Misalignment
Much like the prow of her ship from past collisions, her hip and shoulder were twisted from recent effort to swab the deck.
Absence Of Faith
She had to believe that just as the world kept turning, so too could circumstances shift – and undercurrents could still carry them to dry land.
She Felt Like A Failure
All she could do was try to manage the losses, which was a repeating theme that she could barely rally any more courage for.
Reflections In Crisis
She wished that he could be there for her and help her overcome these trials, but she had no flares – nor even faith that he would have seen them and come for her.
She had not allowed herself to rely on help from a man in these ways because it had been her experience that men these days would usually abdicate leadership responsibilities.
Even more though, however, she longed to feel his arms around her to be able to warm her bones with his heat and share comfort.
What Goood The Stars
When no longer any wind to steer the helm by?
Upwelling
Keeping panic at bay so that she could keep assessing for alternative currents to follow was becoming more difficult to navigate.
—
(Ocean terms…)
Floating Particles
She was pretty certain that she couldn’t even swim, anymore.
Going Down With The Ship
She had always had abilities to salvage it before, and had hoped that she could at least reach solid ground before it capsized.
Depleted Resources
It seemed that she had no other recourse, and it churned her stomach into knots.
Drastic Measures
She had begun to think of how to get the others launched on a “life boat,” for they would be able to go farther without her.
(Starless Variables – Monosignal)
(The Fool On The Hill – Tom Scott)
Umm…
“Listening to the Beatles’ original, ‘The Fool On The Hill,’ the song on the radio station suddenly goes dead air – and then this version with Smooth Jazz Sax comes on…
I don’t think that the song was supposed to be so sexxy.!”
(Stronger [What Doesn’t Kill You] – Kelly Clarkson)
Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody
Brain Crash With Fighting Off Impending Meltdown
Because she could not “see” where the needed undergarment had gone to.
Illusive Clarity
In trying to redefine needs
It’s hard to recognize ego
Suspension Anxiety
She couldn’t tell if it was from circumstances, or physical injury.
The Job
Keep stitching torn sails, work to repair rigging, and pray for reinforcements.
“On My Own” (Singin’ The Blues)
By Athena Stairs, December 25, 2025
I’ve looked for my marbles
Not sure where they’ve gone
While drowsy from sleep
Thought I’d write this cute song
There are ghosts in the hall
But I keep them from talkin’
At times flick a light
To interrupt their stalkin’
When takin’ a shower
I’m careful with balance
No bars on the wall
Means slippin’s a menace
And when try to cook
I’m chasin’ ingredients
If you like your food charred
My skills are ingenius
My garden is wet
So rarely smell flowers
The hound can still fetch
But I throw with weak power
My homework has died
From a smack to my thinkin’
The synapses fire
But gaps signal blinkin’
Want to make my own music
But readin’s gone faulty
My eyes seekin’ guidance
Fight overload mentality
My logic’s alright
But I’ve fallen in love
Still lonely at night
When could fit like a glove
But I’ll be alright
It’s been years on my own
Try to live a moral life
So no need to atone
I fight back determined
Where demons encroach
Still seems human plight that
Our souls are bare-boned
—-
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