Category: Male Bonding

“I can choose.”

Helps figure out
What’s best to do

Thought from overbearing mothers
Yet retrospect, from absent fathers

Over while
Underrated

(Play with meanings)

What extent
Influenced?

“Animated
& friendly”

Those understanding
Give of their true self

I’ve been hurt before
Can’t you see that?

I don’t wanna fall apart
But I’m scattered

We grow together
Or we grow apart

“Look,” she told him flatly, hiding her compassion, “it doesn’t matter how I felt about you – I’m not getting involved with a married man!”

Instinctively, I must protect my prize as
Men have always left me compromised.

In mind and spirit’s tenacity
There has not been equality

No matter their ages limitations
Left me in frenzied devastation

“Honey, I am older than you…
Why you wanna be with me?”

They have always left me regretting
Whereas blue-eyed gifts dreaming

Who are you?
No one as yet

But not because you
Haven’t a Golden Get

But because your focus
Is external not internal

Thus you are
Still imaginary

Half-truth
Insinuations

Masking
Lies

Attempting
Compromise

Without
Honesty

Distorting
Reality

Corrupting
Sanity

Betraying
Fealty

Without
Clemency

Did I ever let go of us
In comittment to you?

No – not once
Always I rose

To caustic challenges
Pushing off damages

Only to watch you
Yield and then fold

Have I grown too old if
I say it was not enough

– That when tested you
Gave up gamble’s bluff

Rejecting my heart and
Our love as a past time?

My endurant support
Willfully sacrificed by

Your shaking hands
Clutching fear’s blade

Too late other men’s mouths
Have provided added weight

To belief that a rare woman
Gave to you for safekeeping

What were you thinking
When you called to say

(Almost) that you had
Made a huge mistake?

But the words never
Cleared the air pure

Still unsure of standing
In that treacherous land

Where society squeezes balls
Of a man still adhering to laws

Corrupting and distorting God’s
Truth used as a brutal bludgeon

I do not do well
With ambiguity

Having endured
Master evaders

“Funny how takers think they can just creep back and take some more.”

“An ex had recently reconnected, picking up where he had left off – as if time and growth made up for damages and losses.

Although she still cared for and wanted the best for him, she knew firsthand that his values were his priority.

Knowing that she would always be low-ranking when it came to society, she abdicated their continuing.”

“A harsh term for men once so valued – but aptly deserved for what I was put through as a result of their choices and behaviors.”

“They say, “If you love something set it free; if it comes back to you, it is yours.’

But I’m not into flat-out abandonment.”

When a guy knows they have me
They disown – discarding worth

Craving the chase rather than
Mundane of dreams in reality

“You make me happy. Can’t you see that in your loving arms is where I want to be?”

And he’d scoure the earth to make her be his accountable, but she’d ever been and kept on waiting for his signal that they could begin and love again.

Having had little positive experience in relationship, he kept hanging back just out of sight, trying to get the courage to approach her.

Her conjurings were always incomplete because she refused to tamper with the will of another.

“I want to be able to make you laugh,” he confided wistfully.

“I can’t just give you my heart, without it being earned,” she replied, which drove his interest further into frenzy.

She knew that if she showed him genuine affection, he would quickly lose interest.

In fact, he was the type to usually reject her, so her strategy was disinterest.

Meanwhile, she felt hollow inside because her heart belonged to another who would not manifest.

And she had to make attempts at “being present in reality.”

But it was fecking gruelling.

There was a man who wanted to love her.

He took her into his arms and gave her warmth.

She said nothing, knowing speech would break the spell.

He projected onto her, made her his savior.

Confided in her while they were undercover.

Told her of his wife and children, and about how he longed for another.

He valued her, protected her because he could fill her with whatever.

She was a vessel – a shell to be conquered.

But she was alone and empty, even with external comforts because he did not know her well.

He did not want her for hersdlf.

He did not give himself to her completely, relegating her to being an outsider.

—,

(Men projecting at the gym)

I had wanted him
He had wanted me

A perfect union
Until difficulties

Sent one avoiding as
The other addressed

Perspectives dividing
That kept expanding

Until neither could
Relate to the other

Closeness

Commitment

Or Accountability

He wants sex, so bargains with closeness.
She wants closeness, so bargains with sex.

“I had just needed some equal consistency in giving and receiving.”

“In today’s dating scene, love is used like a commodity.

Find a person for your head, another for your heart, and another for your body.

But how, then, can one’s soul be unified when experiencing aspects of self and others as mere fragments?”