Category: Male Bonding

Being taken for granted is not permittable!

Seeking to gain power and advantage.

“How is it that I am only approached by men who want sex and avoid closeness?!”

“It happened, ‘again!'”

Overtures were just ideas:
Lures suggested to induce

Desire to move closer – but
Were never real invitations.

I would rather keep to myself than allow myself to again be driven into a frenzy.

Seeking by my own authority.

To just be able to feel deeply sad about it.

Having a type is confusing and curious to find out in this phase of my life.

Moments of bliss and unwinding.

I am having moments of happiness, where before life has seemed always hardship.

“I don’t feel well…” she quavered.

“Don’t worry,” the alternate mothering part of her brain reassured her.

“You are just in shock and feeling toxic, because that which is harmful to you has happened again.”

Unrequieted love is like a bruise that won’t heal.

Usually more comfortable if predefined.

But then, it wouldn’t be called unknown.

He didn’t appreciate her love when he had it, because he never had gone without it.

And she had never really known nor felt that he had truly wanted it.

It doesn’t matter what “they” say, or how badly a person might feel about it.

Or who will or will not support it.

The heart just wants what it wants.

She stood accused of “making the same mistakes” by her inner critics.

How dare she take that bold-leap chance and risk on another good-hearted guy – who it turns out, like the other men before, also had issues with commitment!

The side-thronging demons laughed at her expense – ranting, raving, and hooting in their cajoling rompery about how she’d “done it again.”

She had somehow found *yet another guy* whose kind and inclusive nature turned inattentive – resulting in a rejection, neglect, and abandonment reinforcement paradigm.

“Oh, girl!” they screamed out in cackling, fanatic goading.

“You don’t need our help – you keep f-ing things up on your own!”

Co-providing nourishment where each person needs.

A man, once escapes his own bound gravity, may have trouble reconnecting after becoming addicted to the wind.

She was pushed away, because he cared.

She wasn’t wanted, because she cared.

Outliers who engage, then become distant and unavailable.

She thought about it.

That she kept being used as a guy’s next step onto something “better.”

Coming close, your gravity locks onto mine
Pulling away, I’m returned to void of space.

Aching to be reunited, hating the isolation
Why does your presence leave an imprint?

Deserved

Or

Undeserved?

Skimming without reciprocation.

My rules.

“It’s not you, babe – it’s me.”

To be shown the light again, but then forced to watch as the dark is allowed to reclaim love’s territory is cruelty.

I had forgotten how good they can be.

Rare and fleeting…

I think I’m here, but I don’t seem to exist beyond my own internal boundaries.

External reality seems all too ready and waiting to enliven, then erase me.

Loss of something special.

From open honesty to locked-down silence.