Category: Stream of Thought

Adrenal output can be seen as excitement, rather than stress and anxiety.

Everybody has dirty eye glasses with smudges. No one gets them consistently clean.

We are all train wrecks – but some of us are dumpster fires.

Climbers will always seek out and take on difficult challenges. It’s in our blood.

Focus on less effort for greater gains.

(These made my evening!)

Some would “shoot their best race horses to save money on feed.”

I do not have time for inefficiency.

My name for a exploration series about reclaiming personal core values, setting aside fear, and embracing healing to strengthen being positive, dynamic contributors to society. It would feature individuals and communities investigating and embarking upon their own custom-tailored personal process of beneficial transformation.

I am doing my best to bundle past issues and fears from/of lack and limitation, pushing them to the side to make room for raw manifestation.

I absolutely love raw crystals and polished stones. They are beautiful symbols of hope that I can hold and gaze upon or into for fractal rainbowed inspiration.

The night before networking, I struggled to find dress pants and bring together a nice outfit for the event.

I could not find a pair that fit me at the stores I visited and when I got home, it hit me how I had nothing in the closet – I mean literally nothing that could work well because I do not have much clothing.

However, I found an extra black jacket in our hall closet that complimented my black clinic outfit, and added a soft, dark scarf for warmth.

Stick to what you know when entering new territories Then you can be Authentic.

I presented well and felt competant.

When I turned 40, I was fresh-eyed and hopeful for the future.

Becoming suddenly swept put to sea by someone else’s mid-life crisis sucked me into a ten year rip tide of fighting for recovery.

Turning 50, 51, and now 52 requires no real reaction except that it has taken cognizant self-differentiating from how outdated “norms” of society want to categorize me.

I am “other” than what is expected to be perceived.

It is my consolation prize to myself that I refuse to compromise as I reestablish my identity.

I am 52 years old.

Hahahahaha!

I must choose arrangements carefully so that I may retain autonomy and flexibility.

Americans have been a part of a “think tank project” which haa focused on ensuring that we are not thinking properly nor productively.

Rather than creating communities of values that insist upon intellectual growth and personal accountability, we are coaxed into a type of waking sleep of consumption meant to keep us listless and wandering.

Who could we be as individuals if we woke ourselves up? What greatness as a nation could we contribute to nourish our neighbors and help them stand strong as our global community?

(Title play with words)

There are some thought paradigms constricting authenticity that I need to modify or completely remove from my conscripted programming.

Creative play regenerates spirit, reorienting disconnect to reconnect internal congruency.

When I was younger, no one wanted to listen.

Now that I am older, my authority cultivates wisdom.

First week back into work, now on my own compulsion, both cars suddenly need attending.

When I think of bills and rent steadily approaching while limited funds get diverted, I reflect on so many odds that I have encountered over the last ten years.

I do not know how I have made it this far when the journey has been so perilous – except by one step after another, and soaring when I’ve been able.

Although some of his forms were breathtaking, it didn’t really matter what he looked like. It was who he was inside that captured her attention.

Maybe I was given those dreams to provide me with a sense of hope: a lure to propel me away from one land – to crash me upon the shore of another.

It is important to open one’s self to a sense of wonder when embarking upon any new (ad)venture.

Embracing abilities to decide my own fate yields power as I harness the crosswinds of change.

Having been a stalwart advocate for love, yet having been beaten about by circumstantial weather as my reward, I realize now that I am bruised and disheartened.

Returning eyes forward – looking onward despite challenges encountered – creates an effect that is much like walking on air and/or water.

If you think that you can depend on something, expect that it could be taken away.

One thing about dealing with emergencies and enacting new networking routines is that it takes so much continuous force of will pushing at a bogged down system to get one’s momentum going that when it is time to turn off and rest, the tapped-out adrenals just keep drawing and pumping energy toward impending crash-and-burnout.

This one happens to be inside the transmission, which means it will be labor-intensive to fix the leak, as well as has to include a complete clutch replacement.

For fun – and what turned out to be raucous laughter and giggles – I typed in a google search for actors my age.

I was surprised to see the contemporaries were those I grew up with and have enjoyed watching over the years.

But, it was even more fun and took off pressure to have found “viable” guys in “my dating range” – as opposed to the standard “retirees” who have given up on life’s innovating.

Pulling my car out of storage, I love strapping in and feeling her growl as she takes me jet-soaring.

Before I have the car towed to a shop that will tell me extremes regarding the clutch system, I will replace some fuses – which I suspect may be the actual issue.

The one working car no longer works.

Now when I need to have an easier pace, I can build this into my schedule.

It is nice that all work I do now more directly benefits me and that I no longer feel taken advantage of when I share fair percentage.

It used to frustrate the man I once loved that whenever he would speak of science, I would relate to it through romantic mysteries – concepts of inspired language about how the different realms complimented each other and were connected. I was an inclusionist, whereas he needed to exclude to retain his logic’s supremacy.

I get these when I am trying to hold back my heart from loving someone who is unavailable.

When I commit wholeheartedly to a project, but those in power/control do not reciprocate, this drains my energy over time and I must disengage and go my own way to recover dignity’s integrity.

I feel the mantle settle about me like a spell of safe keeping.

Like it or not, I am being elevated in status and maturity.

I do not need to feel wrong:
It is a concept of “shoulds”

That has nothing to do with
The realities of my situation.

Officially retrieving my supplies from employment.

I can be a real hellion when my patience has bled dry and I am just stuck in quicksand, struggling.

A vicious stream of curses may then be heard pouring unchecked from my mouth as I rail at the forces that “brought me to this.”

But I have not been cursing nor flailing about this time, preferring to save what dwindling strength is rebooting.

An antibiotic pill taken with a sleep-inducing expectorant – and hopefully, a nap puts me back on track to finish my taxes.

It seems hard rebuild when I have lost my momentum due to being sick, and I have to dig myself out of more sticky quagmire pulling and sucking at my feet while the compass spins – no longer sure, itself, which way is North.

She had not known what it was, but she could feel it coming…

I very much enjoy the fact that I can help enact profound, healing change – without causing pain.

Antibiotic intervention and gym time.

Having the luxury to feel miserable and gripey without having to worry about what anyone else would judge or feel inclined to say.

There are no reassurances when one is out on the edge of all that one has known.

Illness, fears, lack, and limitations – these are all just trends in cycles that must be measured as mere data points, without emotional attachment.

Additionally, trends in data points that promise success must be allowed to overlay those which cause distress.

This is a proven way to “haul one’s ass” out of a caved-in hole.

I guess that it should be no wonder that I feel I cannot “see” the future.

It is the hardest kind to produce.

I tend to fight when up against a wall.

I tend to resist when I have everything to lose.

The hour is bleakest when I cannot see light on the horizon.

Being sick for a long time hits self confidence with a low blow.

Bad habits that must become mitigated.

For me, it has been a remnant, misplaced thing that happens when I cannot make other people happy.

What I have learned so far in this life is that we can create peace and prosperity, we can cultivate and promote good morality – and that external, superficial relationships based upon mutual beneficience are the one’s that may last, in the end.