Category: Stream of Thought

I must be an overachiever, for I rarely consider my efforts extraordinary.

There’s a lot of it about.

I post things here, then take them down because of judgment.

Imagined or perceived.

At last, her garden endeavors were progressing in a way that helped her settle back into early summertime rhythms.

Beans, snap peas, zuchinni, and tomatoes; strawberries, snap dragons, petunias, and lobelia; roses, dianthus, lavender, and violas give food, perfume scents, and colors.

Four fruit trees among the herbs, carnations, pineapple sage, and lots of lemon balm; and flowering porch plants were in abundance;

She carried a heavy load of worry about making the right decisions.

It is a horrifying experience to have one’s mind throwing up blocks when attempting to address cleaning up issues that affect my credit.

I was and am still an ace at management and strategizing.

It’s just that the vexation, despair, and extreme stress that I kept dealing with over the past four years wore down my optimism in these areas – like a Pavlovian shock response upon neurons trained into “Don’t Go There.”

Luckily, I remembered one agency from way back that I had spoken with, and their top-notch, kind, and informed assistance helped me maneuver past self protective barriers.

An old friend of mine held the stance that he never wanted to be a member of any club that would accept him. He ascribed to individuation.

My reluctance to participate is for similar reaons, but more because groups predefine themselves and I need to expand and remain elastic.

As a single mother, I did not have the freedom to go where my heart needed and desired.

Not like a man.

Not like a person uncommitted.

I knew I had to slowly maneuver however I could while maintaining cobbled together stability.

I had to buy time and hold space for my children to grow.

I had to focus on what they needed essentially to eventually expand dynamically.

An intuituve must obtain supportive environments, else their brainwaves swim in others’ cacophany.

Entrainment is an important characteristic of interactions between brain rhythms and refers to the coupling of two independent oscillatory systems in such a way that their periods of oscillation become related by virtue of phase alignment (Cummins, 2009).

https://www.sciencedirect.com › topics

Entrainment – an overview | ScienceDirect Topics

By this time of year, I would be back into music, exploring external expression, progressing in language, and learning new healing modalities.

Christianity and other religions preach that living is suffering – and that we’ll get our “just rewards” when we pass on from this life.

But me?

I’m more of a “Heaven on Earth” kind of ascriber.

I do not need outdated belief systems as a crutch when what I need and love is right here, in this “reality.”

Hypervigilance and repetetive stress response to fleeting stability again becoming unstable takes its toll on a fight or flight cortisol system.

Unable to choose “freeze” as an option due to need to keep moving, body auto-locks down against muscle movement because it wants to stop moving “for safety.”

I remember when the sensation first happened over ten years ago, and how hard I fought against it For if it had won then, I would not have been functional for my children.

It is very vexing to feel hunted and haunted by such a mechanism. I keep fighting to overcome it instead of it overwhelming me – because if I am “the carrier,” I must also be “the solution.”

Your angel number 1155 indicates that it is time to begin a new endeavour, new direction, or perhaps a new business venture. All of your hopes and dreams will come to fruition. Now, get ready for some wonderful changes in your life, and you’ll finally be able to rest in your own skin.

https://www.ipublishing.co.in › ange…

Angel Number 1155 Meaning – Symbolism & Spiritual Significance – iPublishing

Energy is lagging. So is inspiration.

If honor it, it lets go. Identify “it.”

Having given my all and more, data analysis points to going it alone.

Likely, I will have better quality of living without difficulty in gaining mutuality.

I am tired – quite literally – of wasting time on prospects that do not benefit me equally.

Awaiting Invitation.

I am called to be where few access, yet is the center of my universe and reason for my existence.

How to be in a relationship of heart, mind, and soul that fulfills and keeps things spicey?

To have myself and beloved ones within a light so bright that all harmul darkness just melts away.

The only consistency in life that we can count on is what we put into it of our own.

Being among the first to ride the crest of a new wave, it is easier to look back upon the force that is coming and to recognize that nothing can stand in its way.

It’s a mentality plaguing every nation, rather than embracing complexity and improving on diversity.

An anti-inflamatory supposedly more gentle on the liver causes more muscle spasms when come off of it than had before, and body swelling.

Oh yeah…and likely “may cause death.”

Russian Roulette.

She realized this is what she always gravitated toward, and needed.

Thinking about using the chapstick while reaching for the roll-on, I almost applied deodorant to my lips!

A person who explores dream worlds, usually associated with lucid dreaming.

https://www.wordsense.eu/oneironaut/

I’ve got me a craving to make them hot, thick and fluffy from buttermilk and being fried in butter, with a sprinkle of powdered sugar and drizzle of maple syrup or slather of apricot jelly covering, crowned by a wholloping heap of freshly whipped cream. Mmmmmm, Good!

If takes a while to reestablish a sense of normalcy and confidence that the self can rely upon after experiencing long periods of tumult and instability.

It is difficult to regulate perceptions of stress, maintain positive productivity, and embark on new ventures if one is thrust back into extreme unknowns.

Of course they want someone who’s younger than they are: men like to feel “in control.”

If one adds up all the primes from the least through the greatest prime factors of 155, that is, 5 and 31, the result is 155. (sequence A055233 in the OEIS) Only three other “small” semiprimes (10, 39, and 371) share this attribute.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org › wiki

155 (number) – Wikipedia

I do not mind a little dressing up –
Just the loss of my entire identity.

I had been feeling under the weather for a couple of weeks and could not seem to get my pep back, until what ever was riding finally got to me.

Recognizing I was compromised before symptoms visually surfaced took bravery on my part to admit – and was the best timing for all concerned because I was not yet contagious.

It would be nice if other people recognized this type of diligence, rather than continuing with imposed beliefs that we must work until we make ourselves worse – and infect the people around us in the process.

I was in love with the hidden things about him. Those sparks that led to deeper intellect, and a heart worth keeping.

Now that I pull away, I still see glimmers of this inherency, but the smokescreen meant to keep people guessing now dominates everything.

Love is like a drug that can elevate you no matter what is happening, promoting a type of lasting “high.”

When you no longer have a focal point for it, disconnecting from it can feel like heavy depression.

Here is not a bad place to step out from illusion. There, everywhere one turned had been crazy.

What worked for one person’s ambition in a certain scenario is not necessarily the right strategy for a person in a similar but different scenario – and she was not going to get her self mislabeled!

As patterns begin to repeat with places revisited, subconscious management begins recognizing where data is more relevant. Anxiety then tenuously relaxes as functionality increases at the right times and places.

I see her there, in her coat and gloves…

Walking her dogs.

She doesn’t realize how much she matters.

I pull into myself and retreat like a snail that got its eye stalks poked.

One would think there would be Choice in the matter.

She dreamed she guarded the younger woman from bullets with her own body.

What was it about protecting his interests that she just couldn’t let go?

Even after she disconnected, she had yet another dream where she proved her qualities over the vapid superiority of another.

Why were surface facades still valued over deeper levels? Why dream of that family’s inclusiveness as a desire?

She knew how to be on her own, and being on her own as a genuine contributor was better than being with others who did not truly see her.

Why was I saved from engulfing oblivion?
What purpose here in absent communion?

30 years.

10 years.

3 Years.

1.

For all of my hard work, on my one day off I wake up with a crimp in my neck, causing a migraine that won’t relent.

Is my life just layers of suffering? When the pain comes, this messaging imbeds.

It is difficult to trust others these days – though perhaps, it has always been this way.

It seems to be just a matter of time before you are seen as Expendable: either it happens upon initial contact, or becomes an inevitable.

One’s own spiritual and intellectual strength.

I am being directed as a catalyst to help move people on to their next positive levels of purpose.

I enjoy this while in the specific role as a healer

But, I do not like it when I am used for others’ selfish gains.

I am angered when left empty from greed’s drain.

Let beauty no longer be only skin deep.

Let it come from Within.

The only text reply I was given upon inquiry was “It is what it is.”

It seems that I am a Knight without an Age of Chivalry.