Category: Stream of Thought

Can I trust this?

Is it real – can I have it?

One that recognizes when a member is overwhelmed, and takes over so she can get through it

A benign affect of the pandemic seems to be that extroverts had to take steps back, which gave room for introverts to step forward.

Eh…maybe I am no longer partner material.

i am getting pretty sassy as I overcome hardships.

In the past, it’s been about pleasing my partner.

But, I think I’m pretty funny when no one’s looking.

And I like this side of me.

I stare into the white wood amidst painted pink of where the mirror in the bathroom used to be.

Funny how it still stares back at me, blankly.

If I cannot have you as my own, then you can have me.

I will be here for you, sharing my thoughts, warmth, and quest for harmony.

Maybe someday, in some way, you’ll be able to return the favor to me.

I know that you know exactly what you are doing – and now you know that I know it, too.

This is the dance we do – the power you feed upon to grow stronger, as I give mine to you.

An illusion professionals weave and project for enticing followers to fall in love with their personas’ presentations – regardless of basis in reality.

Harnessing it to push past the pain of muscle spasms and inflammation to make the impossible happen…

Issues with card limit and truck price switching to $200 more this morning – what?! – assisted and diverted to the next steps in moving.

Getting out of one’s own way.

A home-made blueberry milkshake with heaps of large, frozen blueberries blended into vanilla bean ice cream!

In intimate relationship, the efforts invested are often greater than gains of returns.

In personal aspirations, one can harness momentum – and leap to destinations!

I’ve managed to buffer in a little more time, for the steps to unfold and proceed.

Like wild animals, humans have needs that need – despite their being denied.

In such situations, I attempt to meld with my passions, to dance with them and give them consolation.

As I do this and don each one’s attributes and depravities, I learn more about being human – and about how we are capable or incapable.

I learn about our strengths and weaknesses.

And I walk the line between them.

Being a delicate spirit, I’ve had to learn how to advocate for and defend myself against atrocities frequently attempting to deceive and victimize.

I can’t afford to be wrecked by others’ instabilities – much like a bird cannot afford to have its wing broken.

Therefore, I watch from a distance, until I can navigate society safely.

My psychologist suggested I needed “friends” after the breakup from my fiance.

She thought that I should just focus upon growing/healing myself.

But neither truths are new concepts to me.

I’ve ever invested in both.

I thought that I was drawn to people…

Maybe this is true, as I am drawn to their hidden, inner truths.

But, now recognizing that I’m a healer, perhaps it is me that draws their truths to the surface.

And once this is done, they no longer have need of me.

When the heart has been lassoed – conscripted to one’s higher purpose – falling in love can seem tumultuous.

But, why fall in love with yet another that I cannot have?

And then, happening upon media status…

Painful.

My soul has always sought truth…and there’s something in him that it has attached to.

I take these wild, calculated leaps – and then get flustered when I land flat, on my face.

I still chuckle ruefully when I think about his asking me, incredulously, if I cared nothing for my own ambition.

Preening feathers from my perch, far away, I would think that asking him to marry me had showed plenty!

It wasn’t that I wouldn’t do it – but had recently attempted something similar, and damage was still occurring to my functional system from that failing, while negative events added.

I don’t feel ready for this move, tomorrow.

I’m the only one driving, funds are low, and I’m reluctant for so many pieces to start rearranging.

Once they do, there are gaps in the support system as we transition.

Usually associated as a positive exchange between people, but in this moment, the kind of ache my heart feels from lost love.

I enjoy people, but usually more so in one-to-one interactions.

I’ve found that individuals are more likely to open up to friendliness if they don’t have peers overlooking their responses.

We all need something to help guide us out of darkness, even if it’s only a temporary illusion.

“I thought we could be friends…”

I just saw a ritzed-up older woman driving by in front of me, unsure of where she was going, and felt something in me snarl at her for taking so long to get out of my way with her cushioned status.

Why? I wondered. This isn’t like me…

But, apparently, the feral part of me just having dropped off things to the Goodwill (and now reflecting upon such hardships experienced here) has just “Had It!” with feeling entrenched in poverty.

It’s only when you can finally leave a bad situation that you realize how toxic it’s been.

I will be driving a 20-foot truck, towing a car trailer with a car on it.

Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hee-hee-hee!

Wait a minute…I don’t want to do this…

Those dreams I was sent…if I were trapped in an unfulfilled real-life fantasy, he would never lose me.

A friend had recently suggested it was the same type of fox that had killed our roosters.

I had said I had not seen the kind he mentioned and they sounded fascinating and beautiful.

Farmers could say what happened was like “an eye for an eye” – except to a different “culprit.”

But, the small predators at least eat what they kill, instead of killing and just leaving the carnage!

As I pack up what must come forward to be sorted, I must leave behind that which did not carry merit.

It was clearly a “miss” – and not a “hit.”

He must have not been worth it.

How do you unsee something that penetrate’s mind’s acuity?

Completion of tasks leads me onward when rays’ hope cannot permeate disillusion and insecurity.

I attempted a better position, but encountered the same scenario.

“Did you really want that role with me?” He lifted an eyebrow inquisitively.

She thought for a moment of implications and possibilities…

“I guess I didn’t,” she admitted, reluctantly.

“My game runs deeper.”

It was strange to find that the hinging point where I’d been stuck was that I’d never had the chance to say what I’d thought of his treatment of me.

Once I was given this chance inadvertently, that unsettled part inside me I’d carried forward through over quarter of a century was released!

Mirrors are strange apparitions designed to reflect ego’s weakness.

I have just been positively reinforced of my dependability, industriousness, sincerity, meticulousness, and zeal.

Even numbers are smooth and rounded, bringing flow’s harmonics, whereas odd numbers are angled and positioned into pushing us to next levels.

I needed my position better secured in order to risk further.

I dreamed that he had set aside a portfolio for me in anticipation of the day I could claim it and join his efforts.

What an honor that I’d relish!

Once my heart has opened to someone, it stays opened.

Only time and distance fades connection – which is now near impossible if someone is well-known on social media.

Trying to mute yearning gets negated as soon as images randomly repopulate one’s screen.

If they pull away, it is best to not further pursue.

This is mainly true regarding men – not children.

Children need guidance – but men must “know better.”

If you give guidance to a man, you play the role of teacher or surrogate mother.

The ideal that I could mean so much to someone I esteem: having my affections returned is an ultimate dream.

The evening tapped out before beginning – which I would think odd, for a Friday.

I wanted to just go back to my room and call it a night, but instead, I foolishly went searching for cleaning supplies to prepare the new home for our arrival.

As I walked to the entrance of the store, I had my wallet out to replace my license, after walking the dogs with it in my pocket.

I heard a man whisper, Hey miss! Hey miss!” But it didn’t permeate until I’d passed him.

He was be-scraggled and had a young child in a shopping cart with him, hidden from view of the market staff, so they wouldn’t catch him.

I must have looked like an easy mark – and it made me mad that he was using a child to justify his intent.

The statues are placed like wards, guarding.

When you look directly at them, it seems preposterous that the mind conjured elements more complex from periphery.

In passing, there’s impression of an odd strangeness – as if, in fact, they were not fashioned by human hands.

Masses of people all over the globe lost faith in God because God did not stop The Great Wars.

But, if we review scriptures, God has only intervened if it was “His” war to begin with – by “His” design.

Man’s “free will” has been left up to us to moderate, until such times.