Category: Stream of Thought

I had hoped to create stories – yet,
My life’s story unfolds before you.

I have the book, but I haven’t read through, yet. I’m too busy navigating parallels to it.

I could not gain acceptance of our mutual validity
Because he was dealing with his own insecurities.

If there is something I am drawn toward which completely takes over my will and lures me to follow it without question, I must angle with the pull sideways, so I can break from its direct grip while still floating toward it, able to better properly assess it. I am no moth to a flame.

It’s one thing to desire to move toward the self’s improvement,
And another to leave behind what one has come to appreciate.

We found a good place, small and cozy.

But my due benefits have been miscalculated, which explains their slow, low returns.

Also, our hound needs next stage quiet training, as our neighbors will be snugged against us.

In attempting to make this next big leap, we’ve happened upon a small oasis.

It even seems our prospective landlord understands, likes, and accepts us!

Can we bridge to this successfully? Will the energies get behind and boost us?

We will need to downsize our arc into an even smaller vessel.

But, it’s worth it to acquire a new, solid beginning.

I have been given employment and drummed by the river with a free-form player
Whose rhythm inspired me to share with him a high energy 9/8 with a variation!

Perhaps solid character is only in fiction – and
I’ve designed my persona out of pure fantasy.

Any place to rest can seem like Safe Haven – even if it isn’t.

Body-mind psychology has only so much
It will take before it reacts by regressing:

The message is clear: we must leave here.

Understanding how it all works
Does not mean I must live in it!

We need positive, beneficial reinforcement – rather than master manipulation and narcissistic subterfuge.

“A hunted wolf learns to cover its tracks.”

A.S.

Being both the patient and the healer:
Resourceful use of fragmented identity.

A braniac driving flips me off with full-frontal
Aggression from a minor misunderstanding.

The only way to break the hind brain’s grip is to throw it a better bone.

The office I want to work for is preparing to offer me a letter of hire. There are so many things the people and structure there have to offer – I must allow myself to feel ecstatic!

i live in constant fear because I am on the edge of descending deeper into poverty than I can ever hope to escape from. The efforts it takes to leave it behind for openly claiming success are intimidating.

But, what about the young man with heavy accent who contacted me by text regarding false housing and answered the phone with a baby crying desperately in the background?

I’m pretty sure he already has it worse than me. If he had better options, he’d likely not be scamming.

Everyone needs a route by which to attain relief.

If the story of Noah’s Ark is true, then is it true that we are all from its inhabitants – as their descendants?

If so, what can we infer from this information?

I often used to say to my ex-husband that if he wanted to go into outer space, I would prefer to stay here on Earth.

This is where nature as we know it has grown and given us a home – and I love its “sense of place.”

I’d like to stick around and be its caretaker in Stewardship.

Is this despair?

Acceptance?

Acknowledgement?

Resignation?

Brief glimpses – fleeting in their ardore – speed beyond my grasp’s reach.

Perhaps they’ll circle back again – once remembering in their forgetfullness that I, as their observer, Am Important.

“The condition, process, or place of purification or temporary punishment in which, according to medieval Christian and Roman Catholic belief, the souls of those who die in a state of grace are made ready for heaven.”

http://www.britannica.com/topic/purgatory-Roman-Catholicism

Is this stay of hand
A granting of peace?

I keep looking for
The good in people –

Despite what their
Defaults show me.

It is a game we were all taught as children,
Not knowing we were programmed subtly:

For only if you hide, may you seek.

I can’t hide anymore.

I’m too angry.

“But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness,
And all these things shall be added unto you.”

It’s my own opposite
Of The Truman Show!

(“Need this, I do not” – Yoda voice)

God is whatever we name “Him” –
No one corners “His” market!

How is it that memories return, in part or full –
As if recorded on tape with sound and sensation?

(Title from a Queen song)

Inside, outside, they confine:
I’m on this earth to be Alive!

I must no longer seek
Where I’m not wanted.

In order to process the pain, I keep to myself and explore it.

In the past, I used to call a good friend and share with her. Now I just avoid this.

It’s not that I’m ignoring her, but that I’m dealing with the thick of it.

I need to be in my own zones of meditation for effective navigation.

I could not answer  
When he signalled:

I was afraid I would
Reveal our positions.

We’ve seen so much of you!
Now hurry back – and
Remember to
Smile!

Support me with your positivity –
And help me promote advocacy.

I am becoming a filter
Through which our
Eyes can “see.”

Is it that the vaccine has overloaded my system, or that I’ve just suddenly lost remaining resilience?

If life’s circumstances have blown a hole through mine, am I dependent upon the external to regain it?

I would rather reach out for a star like my own
Than be cast – shipwrecked – on broken stone.

Annabel Lee Art (Zenphoenixa)
http://www.annabelleeart.com/halcyon-speed-paint/

A definition of “halcyon” from Oxford Languages is:

“A mythical bird said by ancient writers to breed in a nest floating at sea at the winter solstice, charming the wind and waves into calm.”

You can’t force art, but
At times, it pushes you.

Can’t withstand
Hardcore vision.

Security is an idea that stacks up to perceived reality – 
As long as process remains consistently undisturbed.

Who are you? Are you really merely mortal?

“In the simplest terms, is the belief that morality is universal, meaning that it isn’t up for interpretation. … Religious people will define objective morality according to the commandments of their god(s). Other people may look at some universal laws, such as murder, as inherently bad.”

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/morality/what-is-objective-morality-what-can-it-teach-us/

We are building a new commute pattern in order to network and acquire leads for housing relocation.

I currently help my parents manage their property in a place geared for retirees, isolationists, and gun-toting / flag-waving extremists.

Don’t get me wrong, everything has a proper time and place.

We just don’t belong here, if we want to expand and thrive.

Just now got the first dose, waiting 15 minutes to see if I will have an allergic reaction. This was the soonest I felt ready, and Having the Choice was most important.

(Several hours later…)

I am happy to report that although my system has been diverted from its normal focus, so far, I seem to be having no major side affects.

We are told to be Independent, yet we must rely upon others. How can we be expected to function well as humans with programmed mixed-messaging?