We have been taught to look for material manifestations, but I have always sought what resides within.
Category: Stream of Thought
Essentialism
My worth is what I contain inside which imbues and seeks external expression.
Structure And Order
I have needed a sense of it in the midst of all of this swirling chaos.
“Foolish” Hearts
When they love, they love openly and without reserve the object of their affection and desires.
All naysayers are ousted from influence. Even their own warning signals are swaddled into a cocoon of happiness to silence them.
What matters then is the journey, as awakening dreams flood, unfolding the promise of a heavenly destination.
And if the line becomes broken between a heart in love and its beloved intended, that heart finds itself suddenly cast out of paradise – thrust back into the laws of gravity as its world comes crashing back down to impact with earth’s “realities.”
To Love Again
Maybe the result of devastation when losing love isn’t just from the loss of a specific person, but also from the feeling that the chance for creating Heaven On Earth and sharing it with someone worthy seems gone.
“What’s Of Use”
In nearly everything I do, I like being productive.
“A Kind Of Magic”
If you feel it and have it, honor it and cherish it.
(Title from band Queen’s song lyrics)
Bright Lights
When we see those shining sparks in others, we must cultivate them – by giving encouraging words, smiles, and sometimes a service tip.
Word Of The Day: Palpable
pal·pa·ble
/ˈpalpəb(ə)l/
– (of a feeling or atmosphere) so intense as to seem almost tangible.
– able to be touched or felt.
Oxford
(Now say it five times…)
Beyond Set Back
Before the car accident, I had begun feeling at last that someday I might be able to run again.
I had relished the idea of being able to ride my bicycle.
I had flourished in the warm heat of summer’s baking into my bones again.
Now, my joint connections quiver.
My steps are unsteady and hips insecure.
The nerves in my hands flare and muscles begin overtightening if I use them beyond minimal.
I am minus back-to-the-beginning.
In fact, I am so far back as to be set into a state of coordination’s confusion.
Movement pings my consciousness into sensations not reassuring – and if I am not careful, I can tip too easily into panic’s desperation from fear of stumbling and falling.
I drop things more often, as my outer finger grippers are nerve-pathway overstimming.
And this is being allowed to still “reach for” rejoining disrupted synaptic connections, whereas other people have been barred.
Possibly forever.
That’s where the panic comes in – and the desperation when I’m thinking I must push harder.
It is frightening to feel my body and mind short-circuiting.
I can feel the maw’s edge closer than most of us would normally ever perceive – again – and it is terrifying.
It is more convincing now that I should just submit to it and give up.
It is Demanding.
Maybe I need more rest.
Give me back that buffer – that place that for a moment, I believe that I am still capable of achieving nearly anything.
“A Missing Piece”
Congnitive Behavioral Training
Retort
“Unlike the suppressive generations before me, as I continue to mature, I keep an open heart that – as a result – also remains vulnerable.
Respect me for my bravery.
Don’t squash me!”
Lack’s Branding
I am afraid that the future won’t be there for me.
It’s A Bit Much
I admit it.
My brain is overloaded.
But I must realize that it is because I am in the swirl of organizing startup of several avenues while doing damage control and reparations.
Once everything is settled, there is premise that my schedule should even out more smoothly.
Deep Processing
Time to “dream” while awake is necessary.
Diversification
Projects
Innovation
Teaching
Collaborating
Italia
Revisiting complex ancestry.
Touch And Go
Some very important things can just become so snarled that one has to walk away from them.
But it is helpful for healing if pieces can be revisited and amended from time to time.
(Title alludes to the phrase)
Shining Through
It’s important that I allow what matters to my core identity to have front-and-center staging.
Taking No SH**
I am just going to have to push against barriers that try to counteract me, keeping my eye on the outcomes that I desire for my better positioning.
Back In Time
Three years on the mountain had taken her vitality like an old woman sucks with toothless gums on once-marrowed bones.
Full Circle
She had wanted him from those first days in school in the early 90’s.
Twenty years later, she got the opportunity to know him better, yet was cautious.
Then their paths diverted, and she always wondered about the mechanisms behind it all.
Movie Pick: Oh, God!
George Burns, John Denver, and Teri Garr.
(I used to look forward to George Burns’ next shows – and with one of my favorite childhood singers and Teri Garr, what a fun cast of the time!)
Changing Patterns
How is this to work in the Here and Now?
I Want It All
Adding finishing my Bachelor’s.
No moderation, but balancing…
8 Years Ago
We were ousted from another home due to yet another’s addiction, only to find that we could not find any replacememt housing.
This initiated a next-level sequence of events which kept pushing me further away from regaining solid ground, and subverted the creative-expressive person I had invested again to be.
Sweet Singers
Out in the sun scooping dog poo in my pleasant reveries this Sunday morning, in the bushes and trees next to me, a hummingbird began trilling.
Soul Food
As I return to the creative arts, happiness appears easily in moments of silly emitting and ease with what’s around me.
Lead On, 9:44AM!
944 is an incredible message…it shows you that success and fulfillment are on the horizon. You simply need to prioritize yourself, your goals, and your spiritual growth.
Word Of The Day: Inherence
“Empedocles’ idea that the qualities of matter come from the relative proportions of each of the four elements entering into a thing.”
Wikipedia (haha!)
Open Arms
I am finding more beautiful-soul people.
Nurturing
Giving to the givers, rather than the takers.
A Mother’s Role
Before, I always had to worry that everyone else could manage while I was away – which often gave a misread to my own sense of security.
Struggle
If it’s a part of life’s requirements, then I will change the components so that I enjoy it.
Wallop
I thought, ok – yeah, sure…
I know how to tecover from this.
But I did not realize it would be a longer journey.
Halloween
This will be the first time in over 5 years that we have been able to decorate and celebrate.
The Urge
Why did I dream about playing the guitar, when trying to do so would increase finger cramping?
Neuropathy
I need to cool this inflammation down.
Momentum
I must regain my mind’s territory and conjure my spirit’s dreams into reality.
Finezza
Monday, with precisioned chiropractic care and gentle, calculated traction, I could feel my anterior hip begin to readjust properly in its socket.
Power
The kind I crave is my own.
Declaration
I will work in the music and film industry.
Word Of The Evening: Lumen
lu·men1
/ˈlo͞omən/
noun
PHYSICS
plural noun: lumens
- the SI unit of luminous flux, equal to the amount of light emitted per second in a unit solid angle of one steradian from a uniform source of one candela.
Oxford
(Yaaas, definition is more of my languaaaage! “Steradian!” “Candela!”)
Pushing Back
I need pressure removed – not added to the equation. How do I reconfigure this thing!
In The Dust
Being me currently is like waking up from a coma to find others’ lives proceeded smoothly while mine was left broken on the curbside.
Recovery Meeting
“Hello. My name is Athena, and I’m a suppressed creative trying to recover my identity after being persecuted and silenced by “polite society.”
“I Swear To God…”
If one more person tries to tell me that as a visionary I should get my head out of the clouds – when I should be learning how to embrace this gift more fully – I tell you, with this migraine, I am go-ing to SCREAM!
Recovery
Hey, man…
We’re all just practicin’ here.
Nobody has to be perfect.
Slim Pickin’s
I rise to the roles that I can – and am allowed to play.
The Dating Scene
This concept that one can just reach out into a pool of gasping anchovies and derive sustenance may work if you have a big enough net to haul in a large enough supply, but does not apply to monogamy – so why expose myself and try?
