Category: The Accident – As Of 10/10/25 Early AM Named “Clyde” (Short For Collide) Because It’s Funny And I Deserve Mirth At Its Expense

“I had to cancel work until next week because there’s no doubt I got reinjured.

I hate this.

I hate too much pain and lack of pleasure.

I hate limits without any workarounds.”

“It distresses me that when I hear how people like to go for a walk or hiking, my body now says, ‘That’s not for me!'”

“‘Cause I’m gettin’ better…

Yeah, that’s it…”

What could this be?
Why do I feel empty?

I give to others
And help family

I think my body hurts
As engage arm or leg

Gravity is tough going
If spine to neck flayed

To rise from bed
Needs a purpose

Towing the line is
No longer worth it

If movement is stiff
Maybe stay in place

Catch up to moment
Give self some grace

“Here’s to my 2 years ago act of valiance – for which I’m still paying!

Woo-Hoo!”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that I strained a neck muscle.”

Tapping into rage to fight back the pain.

“It seems that much of my time is forced into experiencing it.”

After effects from work.

“There comes a point near every late evening.where makeshift stamina’s grace collapses, and further movements are accompanied by quiet grunts and wheezes.”

“Like bleeding out energetically without needed stop-gap filler to meet, feed, and reset their function.”

“There’s been no denying, just realigning.”

These first two years since the accident
Have been about gaining distance away

From modes of tipping on edge of collapse
Which I would not let override endurance

Thus internal reroutings smack into walls
When continuing to push past allowances

With mainframe crashings from pressure
As keep reanimating limbs toward future

Something unmentioned has been
A bulging vessel inner pinky finger

Several weeks ago since I noticed
Unsure how long it’s been injured

Could have happened lifting any
Edge with angled weight cutting

I’ve been ignoring it to let heal as
Occasionally acts as trigger finger

Because the pain upon touching
Was swollen and pulse-alarming

Connective tissues and associated
Don’t have tensile tenacity as prior

“The few things that I choose to try to do on any given day are more than I ought to be attempting.

But I used to be able to do so much more!”

“Because I need more help to overcome all of this.”

There are exercises and nutrients that
With time and resources could benefit

But if I have just one unit for any effort
I must be careful as to where focusing

I got hurt again yesterday early eve
Simply walking and snagging shoe

Tripped carriage flinging extremes
Tore into junctures where repairing

“Cortisol haze from stress makes chest a heavy weight almost feeling like suffocating and illness in the mornimg.

It likely doesn’t help that I must drink caffeine mixtures daily in order to be able to think and function…

I refuse to take pharmaceutical medications that will leave a worsened effect while they’d claim to address my symptoms.”

There is no consistency that
I can rely on in these injuries

Zones are identified in variations
That intermittently work or worsen

Which keep putting me back into
States of great anxietal insecurity

Because I never know what I can
Count on in performance abilities

Add onto this that in trying to heal
New injuries occur in shift-adjusting

And their effect upon limbic systrm
Is like treading minefield explosions

Periods of “maybe I’m safe” occur
Then on into new crisis responses

It’s mainly the lockdown
And warning impingings

Telling me my body
Cannot do as much

After already having
Pushed beyond limits

I’ll still get up and try by
Calculated workarounds

Being as it has all ultimately
Been up to me to guarantee

I only struggle harder now
For even smaller advances

Which honesty creates panic
When limbs need down time

It’s all I can do to
Step up to the old

Recovering from work efforts
Vs.
Networking for more marketing

Brief momentum
Dissipating relies

Upon regatherimg
Strength to push