Category: The Shower Accident 11/14/25
(You Better Run – Pat Benatar)
(Treat Me Right – Pat Benatar)
Renegotiating
Sanity
Carrying The Burden
“It becomes more clear that my neck, shoulders, and spine have become more destabilized since the concussion accident as muscles torque-torsion into spasmed misalignments carrying loads that they weren’t meant to be hoisting.”
Puffer Fish
“Dang-nab it!
The concussion has made my body swell, again!”
Backed Into A Corner
“I was not responding well as of today from the concussion when getting other people’s help as they were pressuring.
I was either dealing with their trying to be time efficient and going in too many directions at once – spinning me in circles – and/or wasting my time, etc..”
The Question Is
“Can you self regulate?”
—
(Re the maelstrom that descends when engaging resource acquisition processes due to brain injury)
“There Can Be Only One”
“I now have two kinds of brain injury – and boy, let me tell you how fun this is navigating the shattered internal stratosphere!”
—
(Title reference to movie Highlander and the struggle to reclaim primary power)
Brain Injury Gaslighting
“An advocate for brain injury support tried helping me today, and finished our appointment by giving me the number to call my next errand item.
After several times of copy and pasting the number, dialing, and getting my own voicemail, I finally realized that she had given me my own number by accident!”
—
(Re: object identification shutdowns)
Family Support
“My eldest assures me that I still have time to live a wonderful life, and that we just need to find more healing answers.”
This Time Of My Life
I had pushed through hardships
Carrying too much tension that
Was supposed to find release and
Began to right before car accident
My asking for an intervention was
Seeking help from the stress load
Not requesting next level struggles
Which now concussion compounds!
But hey, hey what can I say – it’s not
Like I had things I still wanted to do
(Wait – I did!)
And true, true I was tired from youth but
I didn’t want vital energy taken from me!
(How rude!)
I’m still going forward because I endure
But I’m more frustrated now by burdens
Making it even harder to create income
Let alone walk with confidence in smile
And the worst part is that there
Seems to be no getting beyond it!
No More Losses
I can’t afford effects of the ride by
Taking drugs, drinks, or medication
That would cause any imbalance in
How I manage emotional currents
Because I am still captaining my ship
With people dependent upon strength
If I break down during financial hardships
The wreckage would become unavoidable
So therefore I do not have the ‘luxury’ of
Being someone who has ‘medical needs’
Still Up To Me
“There is nothing different available to me than what I have already been doing on my own to recover from the original car accident injuries.”
Off The Table
“The PA told me that basic concussions easily take 4-6 weeks for recovery, but can take much longer if more severe – especially if compounding prior brain injury.
Looks like I am in the latter category, as school and extra pursuits are no longer an option at present.”
Stripped Synapses
It makes me very angry to be
Forced into taking medications
Because I no longer have buffers
MAXED OUT
“How the heck – and why the heck would I even dare to dream about having a healthy relationship when everything around me is noise, pain, and chaos – and not one partner-zoned man has pulled weight in a relationship with me?!!!”
I Can’t Rest
“There is almost always a noise bashing, scraping, stomping, crashing…
How do I recover?
How do I not scream – insane?”
Fragmenting
“But I Am…”
MRI’s
“Over and over and over again…”
I CAN
“DO THIS.”
(nerves quiver)
Cutting Losses
“I had to change my classes to ‘audit’ so that I can gather the info for another day – and let go of struggling.”
(Invincible – Pat Benatar)
I Did One
“It took forever with meticulous breaking down and re-reviewing every component – but I did it.
Brain quiver says, ‘Don’t you dare try another tonight.'”
Making A Simple Chart
“I am on my 4th rough draft now because it’s all about placement of identification symbols – which identifying symbols (letters, shapes, icons, and associations) has been the main issue of my prior brain injury – now combined with blocked interpretive cognition from the concussion, as well as slight tremoring when trying to access fine to large motor skills.
I can literally feel my brain quivering from the normally minor strain of just trying to draw line measures straight, and then penning the symbols in proper spaces tries to for some reason bounce me around in tiny spacing.
Not sure how much I should be pushing to achieve progress, but how else can I regain anything?!”
The Struggle
“Regarding school by itself, I am trying to catch up with 70% completed by the 10th to gain an ‘Incomplete’ on both classes, which would allow me to gain an extension.
But my cognitive decoding of instructions, tasks, and then applications has slowed down to a third of what I had with prior brain injury.
I do not know if I can accomplush any of this seemingly simple sequential step-taking.
Just working on one assignment – granted, at 2:30am now in the morning – is straining my concussion.
But during the day, I am dealing with navigating phone calls, appointments, and searching for more survival resources.
And, I need help to decode and identify what my software applications class is asking functionally – which has been delayed all quarter even before the shower accident.
Yes, this is why I come here…
To have some belief that I am still capable.”
Somehow,
“I am supposed to believe that all of this hardship is leading to something better for me.”
(Insert maniacal cackling, here)
The Joys Of Setbacks
“My hands have full numbness-flash episodes, now…”
Sabotaged
The general plan I had was that
I’d return to work in December
Having completed first stages of
Retraining adding to foundations
I accessed every limited resource
Using momentum’s gain to launch
Got smacked back down – literally
Now nearly 2 1/2 more years of loss
Melt Down
“I feel like a,complete and utter failure.”
Fractured Glass
My life is a broken frame
Barely supporting vision
Waste’s Rot
Being unable to work
Or contribute as I did,
One could think that I
Now have more luxury
But there is little rest nor
Peace of mind struggling
And pain’s compression
Prevents music progress
Another Migraine Today
“However, I can feel my neck muscles reactivating -Thank ‘God!'”
Frontal Lobe
“‘Oh – the humanity!'”
Healing Concussion
“Well, first you’ve gotta get the neck to restabilize…”
(My Body -Young The Giant)
“Not For Me (Brains In A Jar)” (Song 1st Capture)
By Athena Stairs, November 28, 2025
Brains in a jar
Brains in the jar
I don’t wanna just be a brain in the jar
You might think it’s fancy
I would disagree
I would like to have more of my body
Brains in a jar
Brains in a jar
No matter how smart you are you’ll only get so far
Brains in a jar
Brains in a jar
Brains in a jar
Is not for me
—
Listen to Not For Me (Brains In A Jar) – 11.28.25.m4a by Candid Corvid Productions on #SoundCloud
https://on.soundcloud.com/1rAJweFebHI8EC2ocw
—
*Please contact me for permissions – for clearly this type of work is in high demand!
(LOL)
A Wild Ride
“Feeling one’s brain shift around inside.”
(Ouch!)
Proud Of Myself
“I figured out where the paper clips were – and that I could use the pointy tip of one to clear out the hole of my incense holder so that I could insert another stick!”
Success!
“Concussion retriggered – but bedroom floor is vacuumed!”
In Time
I can not seem to get back into that room
The one where fat is a reality nourishing
Where the brain is no longer quivering
Because knows marrow is replenishing
It’s a state of mind shift where settling
Into moments relaxed and surrounding
Where no emergencies bombard-invade
Where nothing wastes by playing games
Why is it hard to hard-stop insecurities
Driving me to push against the injuries?
There is time here gathering in offering
Allowing me to final-run finish studies
Yet the concussion clamps to prevent
A determination that refuses to relent
Why is it so important that I be stopped
From the simplest-task meagerest want?
Why am I being thoroughly interfered with
Beating me down enforcing toward lament?
Just leave me alone I need not atone
There’s no self reflection to gain here
Having already done the work my soul
Knows what it burns in desire to learn
—
(Title of multiple meanings)
A Punitive System
She had already been making certain decisions – so why did influences have to hard shove closed doors from those directions she was already leaving?
Self Recipe For Post Concussion Healing
Craniosacral opening of spine, neck, and head light programming – Day1-2 post concussion
Enforced personal therapy trigger points all over head, neck, shoulders, back, and spine over several hours trying to unlock compression, free brain from suffocation, and reduce high-intensity inflammation pain – Day 1 evening
Osteopathic Manipulation doctor gentle realignment cuing – Day 4 post concussion
Meanwhile, daily gentle excercises at gym to reconnect joints, muscles, and spine stability
Light Neurofeedback to help brain firing restabilize and reclaim prior gains – Day 7
Frontal hematoma and swelling first major release, causing brain cavity internal adjustments with injury severe exposure pain in sudden, periodic major shifting that I do not think anyone should have to be consciously experiencung while it is happening! – Day 9
(***DO NOT TRY THIS ON YIUR OWN AT HOME – OMG LOL!***)
“Hard-Knocks” Knowledge Gain
“Feeling the inside components of my skull shifting into better position as the fluid pressure released was excruciatingly painful and terrifying – especially when I sat up briefly and could taste the saline taint of lymphatic puss and blood from behind my throat passage as it drained.”
(Take Your Time – AURENZA)
For What Good?
“I am being stripped of my abilities.”
Frustration
Good Ol’ “College Try”
“I think I put my best foot forward this quarter.
It isn’t my fault that I was sabotaged by accumulated cleanser slickery and lack of shower bars.”
Give Me Some (Aqua Regia – Sleep Token)
I need to calm my shakey system…
How Does It Help
“To shame, disregard, and mistreat a patient in honest need?”
Candid Corvid Productions 