Category: Where Demons Tread

The mice are moving into the upper cabinets, despite the grace of live traps that I have given them.

When she closed her eyes, trying to nap, her mind cast out for traces of his energy signature – as if tracking him.

She couldn’t stop the hunger, for she had been starving for so long and needed to feed.

And he had cracked open the Pandora’s box that she had fought hard to keep locked up inside of her.

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Originally published October 2024

It doesn’t matter if I have a migraine or am overwhelmed and feel unable to step up to the plate.

There is no “down time” for me.

No person I can rely on

Nobody to catch me.

Recognizing unmet needs hunger disproportionately to current reality, how is one to equalize without help from an attentive partner – other than to burrow even deeper into the misery so that it is owned, rather than conscripting?

Flatlined.

They said that I would not amount to much.

But then I did – even if now it’s as if I didn’t.

Suddenly, he was there to comfort her.

“Oh no. No. Where have you been? Why come here, now? I used to be bright and beautiful. I used to be HOPEFUL! You can’t have me now. Not like this. Not when I am a total wreck. A mess. And struggling…”

Yeah ..

I am gonna snap after leaving a situation without causing harm where I could have because someone projected their b.s. onto me.

WTF!

I no longer have hope for my situation, yet will endure until I cannot, anymore.

There is the affirmation that, indeed, one is better off alone.

A song says, “It will be the good times we remember…” (by Barbra Streisand)

Not so when those around you only look for the negatives.

Growing up in a central valley of California in the 70’s did not place me in the most advantageous position for healthy mental-emotional growth and development.

However, the onslaught of things that I endured afforded me a perspective as I fought repeatedly to reclaim identity that not many other people have experienced.

It is hard to recover from a beloved’s denial of truth’s validity.

That seemingly ignomious sense of defeat whilst attempting to prove one’s talents (aka worth) in a dream to a coveted peer or desired partner, only to find one’s self suddenly messing with toilet seat covers falling to pieces and stall doors not latching as completely exposing – causing painful humiliation.

Mine is the type of emotionsl and physical into transcendental to where by attempting to understand and unpack it could drive a person insane.

I hate that so many years have been full of struggle and desperation, bleeding out opportunities for love’s reconnection.

Housing stability seems to be a fantasy and only acquirable for those with beyond their means.

And you can’t just throw shelter at somebody that does not match who they are and thus lacks supports of their spiritual needs!

May we please have stable housing?

What seemed secure because it was “known” backfired, causing more unnecessary damage.

No gentle landing
Having given it all,

The storm engulfed
Leaving only the fall.