Category: Where Demons Tread

From a distance, I can intuit so many things – though I am not always sure if I am “reading” correctly.

Would you like me, still, if we got closer?

To witness how much I try to be true to you?

But it is hard on me.

I am a vital, passionate woman, after all.

How you tease me.

Is it on purpose?

Or something we are learning to feel?

I miss you so bad.

But it’s got to be real between us.

It isn’t a game, but I play for keeps.

I dreamed about you last night.

Twice.

We spent time together.

I can’t explain how good and right it felt to be close to you.

It just fed something integral inside of me.

We were happy.

How about if we spend the rest of our lives finding ways to prove our love to each other, but start by just bridging the barrier between us with a hug?

Translation = Be Mine

I am used to surviving by making myself scarce and flighty around strangers.

If you keep acting like one, this mode in me is getting reinforced toward you because I can’t afford to let down my guard without safety in uncertain environments.

I don’t want to treat you as a stramger.

I need you to change your behavior toward me so that we can bridge into connection.

I don’t understand.

You’re not coming up to me recreates my lockdown possom mode, and not knowing when to expect you leaves me searching in uncertainty, leaking precious energy.

I need to self regulate out of these modes.

Please come up to me or call me by phone.

We could make a game of it every day regarding who can be the most dorky.

I bet I can surpass you on some levels.

I don’t need the publicity.

All I need is you and me.

I don’t know how to speak with you like this in real life.

I’ have been waiting for so long…

I want you.

And you are worth the wait.

But I hate waiting.

“Catch me – if you can!”

My Love, I want what you want.

I am so proud of you.

Look at how far you have come!

I look forward to getting to talk with you all about it.

We are on the edge of eviction, so I am distracted trying to prevent it.

I wish you were here to put your arms around me.

Stay safe.

It’s kind of cute and funny (don’t you think?) that we seem to be having this effect upon each other.

Near tragic if we don’t do something soon to overcone it, but I think that it’s a very solid indicator that we are truly in love.

And this can be exhilarating if we create solid foundation and then let the feelings carry us  – thereby placing us into the next phrasing category of “head over heals in love!”

I am excited to know you.

I am sorry that I have such difficulty crossing the barrier to you.

My closest people could verify that I am usually not like this.

I can usually switch easily between intro- to brief extroversion in various situations.

I think that the issue for me is that you mean so much to me.

And when I get close to you, the overwhelming sensations inside of me compete for priority.

I guess this is what they mean by the phrase, ‘You sweep me off of my feet!'”

Never before could I reach this phase of healing as I walked along these broken roads searching, until you came into my life.

I want to be with you.

I don’t know what all of this means.

It’s unfolding…

Do you understand?

I want no other.

—

(A&E Movie “Jane Eyre” reference)

You know where to find me.

I need to cut back on staying out late.

I need to find time to rest.

You are invited.

Do you think that two accommodators could find balance with each other?

Just don’t leave me now.

I can’t be without you.

—

(Movie reference, “I Am Dragon”)